Fucking confused

[bastardmarriedmen]

A few weeks ago I met a man on a work do and we drunkenly flirted. He told me he wanted sex with me. I said I wouldn't and went home. But he continued messaging me asking me sexual questions. I was flattered so reciprocated. Eventually I picked up on a few things about him that made me realise he was after one thing entirely and I backed off. I think he was gaslighting me. He was making out I was crazy because I was questioning him over the rumours about him being a womaniser. I know I am completely better off without him but I keep thinking did I get him wrong. Should I have been kinder to him. I keep thinking about him but I know he is a narcissist. It's doing my head in. He's left now. And he blanked me after I told him to leave me alone.

I know he is seriously bad for me and I know his pattern. Once I started seriously thinking he was fit he backed off but he said I was scaring him. Just because I questioned what would happen (I'm in a relationship too) I can't cheat on my partner.

Well it sounds like you do want to cheat on your partner if you can’t stop thinking about this gross other man. Break up with him if you want to shag around.

I really don't want to. Honestly. That's what stopped me before.

Then why make a thread? What’s your AIBU? If you’re tempted then that reveals a lot about your feelings and relationship.

Would you tell your partner about the sexual conversations you were having?.

I would class that as having cheated.

I think my aibu is I don't know really. I just want to get it all out of my head. Honestly this guy laid it on a plate for me and I didn't do it. I think I just want to make sure I'm not a total bitch because he made me feel like I was a nutcase.

Pointlessusername I fucked up. Married man enticed me into the.

That

He's left now anyway and he turned out to be a complete arsehole. Honestly I have never met anyone so controlling of the mind

You said no to sex, case closed. What's your problem?

He's no longer in your life or even in communication with you, he is not controlling you, you clearly appear to want to cheat with him. If you truly cared for your current partner, you would not be thinking of this person who you said no to, had no actual relationship.

Stop being dramatic, leave your partner if you want to sleep around. Stop blaming this man who is no longer in your life for your own ridiculous thoughts.

He told you he wanted to have sex with you shortly after you both met, you declined but then got off on the flattery of his sexual messages and responded positively?
I’d be more worried about being a bitch to your partner rather than gross man

You're both right. I need to just forget about it. I'm so glad nothing happened. I

Thing is though I wasn't even that bothered about him. I deleted his number twice and he kept on at me until I fancied him and then was a complete arsehole to me when I questioned him about what his intentions were. So is that all my fault then?

He sounds like a player. Definitely leave well alone.

Well, okay? What is the purpose of this thread? This man is not at fault here, the problem is you and the obvious fact you're desperate for him. You refused him and he accepted your choice. He's an obvious idiot for trying to get other women to sleep with him whilst he is married but he's done nothing wrong to you.

Are you now wanting the challenge of a married man or are you upset that he is no longer chasing you (which is what is most likely). The attention and excitement has gone?

Do your partner a favour and leave, go figure out what you want and what sort of person you want to be. I'm sure if your partner was thinking this about another woman you would feel disgusted and hurt.

He sounds an arse. Well shot.

There's nothing to even bloody think about, get a damn grip. He tried it, you said no, the saga ended. NOTHING HAPPENED. Good lord.

@FifteenYemenRoadYemen he is not at fault- are you actually being serious?!

May I add he got married two weeks before he tried it on with me.

Thanks @PointlessUsername

Also he didn't just message me sexually he was messaging me in a friendly way and I kept telling him to talk to his wife etc so I feel like we were friends.

Do you mean he got married two weeks ago then?

I am totally confused by this thread.

What's your AIBU though?

Sorry. He got married then two weeks later he was trying it on with me. My aibu is that why do I feel bad like I've misunderstood him because I asked him some questions like how many times has he done this and he said I was being crazy and acting like we were in a relationship. I'm totally confused because we were messaging each other every day and it wasn't all sex and then we had this massive row and never spoke again

Obviously I'm better off without him.