Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

At in laws want to get out of here

128 replies

flappi · 10/08/2019 19:46

I know they don’t like me . Been here for about 4 hours . Feels like forever. Wish I didn’t have to be here .

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/08/2019 20:16

Ok.

You haven’t seen them in months,

You don’t like them.

Why shouln’t they see their grandchild?

flouncyfanny · 10/08/2019 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSingingTowers · 10/08/2019 20:28

Yabu for having a dance class at 8.30 on a Sunday morning! Grin

You do need to get going though because of the weather and drive home.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/08/2019 20:28

Maybe...

JennyWoodentop · 10/08/2019 20:29

How often do you visit? Why doesn’t your dp go with your ds and you stay home?

There's not enough detail from OP to guess really is there?
She says they don't like her - maybe they badmouth her in front of the kids & undermine her parenting if she's not there
Maybe there are safety concerns that they don't supervise properly, garden pond or pool, don't believe in allergies, have a poorly controlled dog etc etc & her partner is so unable to stand up to them he can't intervene if OP is not there
Who knows?

LadyRannaldini · 10/08/2019 20:31

Maybe they're waiting for you to go!

flouncyfanny · 10/08/2019 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
flappi · 10/08/2019 20:35

We have to find here because some of the relatives too old to travel to us .

They have us over a barrel because we don’t agree to see them every 2-3 weeks .

Which I think is way too much especially due to the distance
I didn’t say I don’t like them , THEY don’t like me so at times uncomfortable.

They might like to see their granddaughter as much as they like , but would you want to see someone who tells your partner off iwhen you turn up at the front door because your late , when you spent hours getting there !?

YES my bad I’m mumsnetting in front of them out of desperation because I basically get ignored by them . And even the best of angels can only take so many hours of that !

OP posts:
Original poster
flappi · 10/08/2019 20:37

They don’t do nappies . And essentially not interested in childcare . So no I don’t feel comfortable sending my daughter here .

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 10/08/2019 20:40

You haven’t said why you have to go too.

Original poster
flappi · 10/08/2019 20:42

My Partner won’t go to see them without me .

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 10/08/2019 20:42

Not enough info.

You’re not “over a barrel” at all.

flouncyfanny · 10/08/2019 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 10/08/2019 20:43

Why not? His parents- if they don’t like you then you don’t go and he deals with it.

Original poster
flappi · 10/08/2019 20:44

I last saw them 3 months ago , but I also came up to their home town to see their elderly parents when they were on holiday . We do that every time they go on holiday .

We the have had to come here again , to see them ( and their elderly parents ) separately because they weren’t here the last time we came .

OP posts:
Original poster
flappi · 10/08/2019 20:44

So basically I have visite about every 6 weeks in the last three months

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 10/08/2019 20:46

Sounds like your bullied and controlled by everyone, OP.

Original poster
flappi · 10/08/2019 20:46

I’d love to not go . But he won’t go without me. and I know they will blame me .

I never expect him to spend time with my family like this , so it’s a bit challenging for me

OP posts:
Coffeeandchocolate9 · 10/08/2019 20:47

Why on earth can't you look at your watch say to DH "darling, we'd better get going I'm afraid, it will be midnight by the time we ate home and daughter has her class at 8.30am. Thank you so much God having us in laws, we'll ne in touch to arrange the next visit soon! DD, say goodbye and get your coat..."

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 10/08/2019 20:48

^ that, but without the typos.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 10/08/2019 20:48

OP you're going to have to stand up to your husband. He's a big problem here.

He should take your daughter alone.

Drum2018 · 10/08/2019 20:48

Nobody can make you go. You chose to go. Your Dp is old enough to visit them alone or with dc. Just get up now and say it's time to go.

HeffaLump1 · 10/08/2019 20:49

He wont go and see his own parents without you?? Why?

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 10/08/2019 20:50

Stop being a doormat! The year is 2019 you have equal rights to your partner, and nothing to lose since whatever you do they don't like you anyway so don't worry that you're going to offend them Wink

flouncyfanny · 10/08/2019 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.