To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

What pump do you have and how are you planning on sterilising all that stuff?

nope, telling people to fuck off and that they're overinvested is rude

Because that came from nowhere didn't it? OP was rude for NO reason to all those lovely posters being kind and helpful and thoughtful in how they respond to the OP even if not in agreement...

Either your friends are deluded or they are lying to you

I also don't think childless friends have any idea how much the weekend will be dominated by a 5 month old baby... I could see myself before having mine... I thought the Hollywood thing... Baby feeds (latching perfectly and discreetly, for about 5min) then sleeps cutely for a few hrs in a pram. Much joy.

The reality of sore engorged boobs, latching nightmare if bubs is tired, every hour if cluster feeding, the crying, having to lug around spare clothes in case of a shit explosion... Pump, who's heard of that, it's for cows surely... Also the impact of missing feeds on your milk supply... Having to have enough clean bottles so you don't run out.... Gah!

I reckon I'd have said "sure np" when childless... Then have been absolutely raging at the spoiled weekend afterwards.

To be fair, I would probably have said fuck off to the suggestion of introducing formula feeding just for a weekend away.

I would be so annoyed if a baby was brought along on a girls weekend away. You won't be allowed into some bars unless you're eating. Are your friends happy with you bringing your baby along?

So I just googled ‘Paris with a baby’ articles and the results confirmed my experience, lots of stairs, metro very challenging, few baby change facilities, few high chairs.

I reckon I'd have said "sure np" when childless... Then have been absolutely raging at the spoiled weekend afterwards.

Really? Raging? At who? It would have been your own fault.

Do you need sterilising stuff for breast milk... Thought you just washed in hot soap water? 😳

When I go away I take the changing bag with DS stuff in and a small backpack for me. I wouldnt take tons of nappies as you could just buy a small pack when you are there? They have everything we have in Paris! Likewise if you needed more bibs or vests just go to H&m. I'm always surprised that I never need as much stuff as I think....

I definitely haven't made up my mind, nothing is booked and I wanted to ask the hive mind whether it is doable before I committed to anything.

Yes, baby has a passport. This trip isn't for a couple of months- I could share DS's current 'routine' but I don't know how helpful that will be. He has started sleeping through the night but I have no idea what a typical day will look like by October/November.

We have a few holidays booked before then, but that will be with DH so the responsibility of sorting everything baby will be shared properly. I don't want to leave it until after these trips to book because the cost will skyrocket.

I dont understand the "lugging" about of baby clothes - won't your baby just need a spare vest and/or baby grow depending on the temp? If you do take a pram make sure you can lift it. I have to carry my pram up and down stairs every day so I'm used to it but make sure you can.

Of course, why would they not? I don't know anyone who would be happy to have their leisure time ruined by loud or badly behaved children. If you enjoy it you are in a miniscule minority and a bit strange.

Or just a bit kinder than you maybe?

Oh god yes, the bloody stairs!!! Argh

How sad that so many people would be fuming/raging/furious at the presence of a small baby. And so many posters who can guarantee that op's friends are lying or just being polite .

I hope you go and have a wonderful time op, with friends that sound supportive and encouraging, like friends are supposed to be!

In response to the sneering 'over invested' comment from Op.

I really couldn't give a shiny shit if you go or not.

Hope that helps

From what you've said it sounds like your friends genuinely will be fine (barring a weekend of continual night-time crying due to teething... there are all sorts of things that can go wrong with a small baby).

As for lugging the baby about - lightweight pram and sling - as much time in the sling as possible. I've travelled a lot with DS, and babies are much easier than toddlers (and I say that as someone who had a blissfully easy toddler and actually likes toddler stuff). After the toddler years they get progressively easier.

Seriously @Patapouf ? Yabu, leave your baby at home with daddy, because this sounds like you do not trust him to look after his own child, and if i was your friend, i would cancel the whole trip if you brought your baby along. Precious much!

@CarolDanvers at myself and my friend (the op). Me for being clueless (I honestly thought most scenes in Hollywood films about babies sleeping all day were real, had never heard of bf issues or colic or cluster feeds or crap like that)... But also my friend for not sitting me down in advance to explain what the weekend might end up looking like.

Your friends may have suggested this but if they don't have children themselves, they have no idea what they are letting themselves in for.

It's not a fucking gremlin

Do you expect to be sat down and talked through every outing or trip you go on @PlutocratCow?

It's not on your friend. If you assured them it was fine then that's on you. Presumably OP's friends have been around enough to see some of the challenges and I see nothing to suggest that OP has simply muscled her baby into the situation without establishing that they're really ok with it.

The insistence on jumping to negative conclusions is ridiculous. OP mentions she is considering taking her baby to Paris. Immediately she is selfish and foisting her baby onto an adult weekend of dinners and cocktails. She said there'd be some shopping and sightseeing and her friends want her to come and are fine with it but everyone just makes up their own scenario of what a weekend in Paris would look like for them and just runs with it giving the OP a good booting for not agreeing with them.

To be fair, I would probably have said fuck off to the suggestion of introducing formula feeding just for a weekend away

Couple that with the difficulties that the OP has obviously had to overcome to get to this stage of BF given she is still pumping and I think it is no wonder this is a sensitive subject for you OP. I think you have been commendable with your ability to deal with the aggressive posts you have received for a fairly innocuous suggestion of travelling with your baby given your friends are up for it.

Jesus what a horrible and depressing thread. Wow people hate babies and children in the UK.

What is a girls weekend and what is so precious that a small baby would spoil it?

Why should people with babies hide away at home doing nothing but stare at their baby or sitting in grim soft plays day in day out.this is why the UK has incredibly high rates of post natal depression.

Paris is a normal place. it is full of families babies and normal people. If the op fancied a change of scene then she will enjoy herself for that reason.

Well it rather depends on the whole idea of what you and your friends view as a girls' weekend in Paris.

Personally I wouldn't want a baby joining if I were in your friends' shoes. Do they realise how much the baby is going to impact on their weekend away? Having a baby there will change the whole dynamic.

What happens if they want to spend an evening somewhere that isn't suitable for a small baby? Are they going to all go and leave you behind or are they all going to be willing to mess up their plans and stay with you, so you're not alone.

Are you going to want to spend as much time as they might, shopping and running around Paris with a small baby in tow. Have you all actually thought this through?

No one on here has any idea how your friends are seeing this panning out, but I think it would be very unfair of you to take your baby along.

Well you’ve certainly had lots of different responses here!

If it was me I certainly wouldn’t do it but I applaud you if you do and it’s successful. Surely if the trip isn’t for a few months you’ll be into the whole mine field of weaning by then which may present new challenges.

I’d maybe leave it a year when you’ll be more comfortable about leaving baby.

Hi OP,
I did a similar trip to Paris when my ds was about 4-5months to stay with my husband on a business trip and it was great! I like my routine so kept things as they were in UK, making sure he slept at similar times etc. I used the buggy for sleeping and did my usual bedtime routine in the hotel in the evening, but just put ds to sleep in his buggy (flat carrycot type one) after his bath. Once he was asleep, I put a blackout blind over his buggy and wheeled him out to the restaurant. I was there with my dh but could just as well have been there with friends. We had a lovely dinner and wheeled ds back afterwards to continue his sleep at the hotel - he was completely oblivious! During the day, I went to the shops and galleries, as I would have done without kids, except that I had to stop a little more often in cafes for a feed (bf), which was nice too. Admittedly he was a lovely baby and good sleeper but if yours is pretty good so far then go for it! (And I say this as someone who is a worrier and overthinks everything that could go wrong). Bon chance!