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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

714 replies

Patapouf · 10/08/2019 12:53

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound Grin

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

OP posts:
Gatoadigrado · 10/08/2019 14:58

I think you’re nuts when you could have a proper weekend away without having to lug baby stuff about, and possibly even change plans if the baby isn’t allowed in certain bars etc. Leave baby with it’s dad- they’ll be fine and it’ll be great for them to have some 1 on 1 time.

PlutocratCow · 10/08/2019 14:58

@CarolDanvers there's no need to be snippy. No I don't expect to be talked through every outing. However, childless girls days out has a different flavour than mum group holiday and it would be courteous to ensure they understand what they're suggesting, surely? I don't have IBS or ever had my stomach stapled but until I knew people with both , it was simply outside my experience to understand their needs. Same as when I met a colleague who I became friends with who has a colostomy bag... There are some things he needs on days away that friends need to be aware of to ensure everyone is well..

PeoniesarePink · 10/08/2019 15:00

OP if your friends had got children and they suggested you taking the baby, I'd say go for it. Given that they haven't, they've got NO idea of the reality of taking a very young baby on a city break and no idea of the reality.

Just the amount of stuff you'd need to lug around would be hard work - then a hotel with lifts, not stairs. Using lifts on the Metro, getting in and out of shops... all with a pram? They've literally got no idea.

I'd say talk them into booking a holiday cottage this year where you can take half the house with you in the car - and book a city break this time next year when you can leave baby behind and enjoy it.

Drum2018 · 10/08/2019 15:00

Not a chance I'd bring a baby on a girls weekend. The whole point of these weekends for me and my group of girlfriends is to get away from kids Grin The baby will be 7/8 months by the time you go, will be weaned and possibly breastfeeding less than now. It may be easier to leave him with his father by then. Your friends are very kind to say to bring him but they need to be aware that the pace of the weekend will be set by baby - his feeds, lunch, dinner, naps etc will need to be factored in before site seeing etc.

HollaHolla · 10/08/2019 15:02

I think you need to be clear on what is planned. If it’s truly a girl’s weekend, with going out to dinner, etc., I’d be really unhappy with a baby going. Especially if others have arranged childcare, and you front up with a baby. I would say you need to say ‘not this time, thanks’, or leave the baby with its dad.
Good luck.

waterrat · 10/08/2019 15:04

I mean Jesus you would have thought the op was suggesting muscling in on a trip to the moon rather than a couple of days in Paris with good friends . Actually bonkers

SnuggyBuggy · 10/08/2019 15:05

Loving all the casual suggestions to just leave a BF 5 month old with Dad.

Seriously OP only you know if your friends are happy with this or not. I'd recommend a decent sling and do some long days out with it for practice. I've only don't day trips but I found months a good age for long sling days as they aren't mobile but by then aren't feeding endlessly. Mine was happy to nap in hers or take in her surroundings quite happily.

Oldbutstillgotit · 10/08/2019 15:07

OP are you Carol and Dick's daughter ??

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 10/08/2019 15:08

I would be disappointed if one if my friends brought a baby on a girls’ weekend away. Based on the use of my time/money, I probably wouldn’t go on the trip.

53rdWay · 10/08/2019 15:09

Given your friends have encouraged you to bring the baby, I'd assume they are indeed okay with it. (If they're the kind of people who insist on you doing something they don't really want 'to be polite' and then sulk when you do it then oh well, more fool them.)

So for me it would really come down to what sort of things you and your friends would usually plan for a weekend like this. If it's quiet ambling around, bit of sightseeing, no firm schedule, then that might be fine and it comes down to whether you think you'd be able to enjoy it with a baby to juggle or whether you'd be tense and stressed the whole time.

SorryDidISayThatOutLoud · 10/08/2019 15:09

I think some posters are overthinking this!

OP, as you have no issue with milk supply, I would take a small hand pump but purely to pump and discard the milk. Or learn how do express by hand. I would also take a pushchair that reclines - little one can sleep in it. One of mine was a bad sleeper and the pushchair was the only place they slept for weeks! You can even get them to sleep in your bed and them move them to the pushchair when asleep. Changing bag with everything else in.

You will have to collapse the pushchair on Eurostar but there will be a mum and a couple of aunties to entertain just for that few hours until the pushchair is back!

Can't see the problem myself. Go, have a great time and take lots of photos! Your baby's first holiday!

mumwon · 10/08/2019 15:10

you need a baby carrier to carry baby & a small rucksack to carry stuff. check hotel has carry cots & baby bedding disposable nappies

IDontDrinkTea · 10/08/2019 15:10

I have a five month old. We’ve been on three holidays so far and have had no problems. I cosleep, exclusively breastfeed and carry her in a sling. I have taken a pram to Spain but didn’t really bother to use it once there.

I would be more concerned about the fact you’re going with two childless women who perhaps don’t appreciate the challenges of when baby is having a bad day. The four month sleep regression totally screwed up our sleep (and we still haven’t gone back to sleeping through the night like she used to). A bad teething day means I’ll have a screaming baby all day. After a bit of sightseeing, she’s totally over stimulated and needs to go somewhere a bit calmer for a rest. Make sure your friends are aware it’s perfectly possible that you go all the way to Paris and spend a lot of time in your hotel. Tell them if you’re sharing a room, they may not sleep much

mumwon · 10/08/2019 15:12

(travelled internationally when dc when young make lists & compact!) get cheap or 2nd hand reclining buggy

MarciaMarciaMarcia · 10/08/2019 15:15

What kind of things will you be doing? Museums, cafes, clubs, shopping? How much of this is reasonable to take a baby to? I would either leave the baby with dh, or stay home. It seems mad to take him. I completely agree that your friends are just being polite.

And I say this as someone who spent 2 months backpacking in SE Asia with my then 4 month old and absolutely think travel with babies is feasible.

MyOtherProfile · 10/08/2019 15:18

Loving all the casual suggestions to just leave a BF 5 month old with Dad.

Whyever not? He's like dad, you know?

MyOtherProfile · 10/08/2019 15:20

You did read that baby isn't EBF right?

Gatoadigrado · 10/08/2019 15:21

SnuggyBuggy

SnuggyBuggy

‘Loving all the casual suggestions to just leave a BF 5 month old with Dad.’

Yes, Leaving the child with their other parent, a supply of milk and a sippy cup or bottle. Newsflash: it’s not only possible, but has actually been done by countless parents. Guess what, the OP might actually have an amazing, unemcumbered time, dad might have a brilliant time with his child and the baby might have a brilliant time with dad Smile

bluebeck · 10/08/2019 15:22

No way would I do this......

Just wait until baby is older before having a girls weekend away.

Fairenuff · 10/08/2019 15:22

It will be a waste of money. It won't be a holiday, it will be knackering.

toadabode · 10/08/2019 15:22

Really bad idea. Unfair to both your friend and your baby. Ultimately to you too. Go and have fun and leave your baby in the capable hands of your DH. You'll relax after a couple of glasses of wine I'm sure and will go back to your family refreshed. You don't want to get back from Paris with the baby feeling like you need another holiday! Plus it'd be lovely to let your DC and DH have some bonding time.

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/08/2019 15:25

I was once talked in to going on a weeks holiday with my DSD and her then two year old. I am childfree and don’t particularly enjoy children but had spent a fair amount of time with this particular child. I had my doubts but thought it would be fine as he was a happy, engaging little boy who was happy to spend time with me and also my DSD was a no nonsense parent. She had him in a good routine, was firm when needed.

We were staying in an apartment and I was happy that we would be out and about during the day and after an early dinner, he would be put to bed and we could just relax on the balcony. Well, how wrong I was. He was obviously unsettled at being away from home and my DSD did a complete about face and let him run riot. So much for restful evenings on the balcony, she didn’t bother to put him to bed and he was running around the apartment like a mad thing until midnight. I ‘m amazed the people downstairs weren’t hammering on our door tbh. I actually went to bed before him every night to get some peace.

I recount this tale to demonstrate that I thought I knew what I was getting into. I had no idea and there’s a good chance that OPs friends will be in blissful ignorance too. I appreciate her baby won’t be running around wreaking havoc but may be just as disruptive in other ways.

ememem84 · 10/08/2019 15:27

I wasn’t brave enough to travel with ds when he was that age but wished I had been.

If I was doing it now with dd (2 weeks) I’d be taking a sling and a pram (so she could sleep at nighttime in the carrycot bit), use pram for days out so you have hands free(ish) and more carrying room.

Take a backpack instead of a changing bag. Much easier to carry.

If ds is breastfed no hassle re sterilising etc.

My only concern would be if friends really were ok with bringing ds. However you know your friends.

I’d go.

AllStar14 · 10/08/2019 15:27

I went on holiday for a week when my dts were 6 months old. They were at home with their dad, safe and happy. However, after reading this I'm worried there is something wrong with me because I didn't cry once or pine for them the entire time!

I wouldn't like a baby coming along on a girls weekend. However, if you really think your friends are fine with it then go ahead.

Ponoka7 · 10/08/2019 15:29

I think you should have said that there'd be no drinking and late nights, at the start.

It completely depends on the baby and how relaxed you are about things. I've known mothers to make things harder than they are, but it's usually because of trying to be perfect and a bit of anxiety.

Mine and my Grandchildren were happy as long as they were fed and held. A five month old that i look after is the same. You can take her anywhere.

The only issue is if teething has started, but some babies sleep through it, once given paracetamol etc. Not that i advocate the use of drugs Grin

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