To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

if your friends are genuine about wanting the baby because they want you, I'd go for it. choose a hotel that is central and offers left luggage and take a buggy but pack a sling.

go out with the sling and a backpack don't expect to be out all day long, going out for a few hours and home for a bit might be more doable. gives baby chance to kick about on the floor.

Personally I would delay the trip until you can leave your baby with your dh then you can go properly and get some real headspace - you will have earned it after the first year of motherhood! I just fear that in trying to do it all you will get frazzled and stressed esp as you are the only one with a baby.

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I'm not saying I resent being told not to go at all, I'm grateful for the brutal honesty of MN. I'm saying I resent being told my place is at home with the baby as one PP insinuated.

I'm on the app so replying to individual posters is a faff, but whoever said the best outcome possible will be that I feel relieved the weekend wasn't a disaster is right. I do think that it will be something to 'get through' rather than enjoy.”

OP - i think you are being really self absorbed - sorry. You are making this whole trip about you and that is not fair.
This is other people’s annual leave.
If it’s a girls trip then it should be just that - you don't seem to comprehend that other attendees may actually have different needs / requirements / expectations. All you talk about is your PFB.

If you are not ready to leave your PFB then sit this one out. Dont be so selfish.

It’s only a short break, I think you will be fine and if not you’re not away for long and will know not to do it again.

I think it will be lovely taking your baby with your friends, you’re clearly not going for a boozy holiday just a rest and catch up in the sun.

Have a lovely time

As for tips - just pack like you would do if you were going out for a long day in the UK. It’s Paris, if you forget anything you can buy it. I’m not sure how you’re baby sleeps in the light but maybe a travel black out blind would be good.

No-one is saying it's not possible to travel abroad with a five month old. What they are saying is it isn't really appropriate for a girl's weekend away.

CarolDanvers
What a bunch of nasty whingers. The type that would be rolling their eyes and moaning at each other quietly because someone's child interferes with their good time.

Of course, why would they not? I don't know anyone who would be happy to have their leisure time ruined by loud or badly behaved children. If you enjoy it you are in a miniscule minority and a bit strange.

I think it’s tricky because the baby is EBF, the pumping time plus feeding time, plus the cleaning and sterilizing of all the kit and access to fridges.
It’s a lot more complicated than BF or FF.

Is it with the stress OP

I'm going on a girls weekend to Paris in November but there's no way I'd be going if I thought someone was bringing a baby. Been there, done it, etc...

Leave the baby with its dad (they'll both be fine!!) And go and enjoy yourself!

I would not be happy if a friend brought a baby on a girls weekend.

In with Mrs swift about sitting this one out as it's already causing some stress.
Wait until dc is a bit older, leaving him won't be so much of a stress and you can have a whale of a time, all of you.

Lazy nope, telling people to fuck off and that they're overinvested is rude, I'm sure they couldn't care less beyond giving an opinion which was asked for- on AIBU of all places.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting that you can’t travel with a five month old. It’s the situation that the OP is describing.

Would I travel alone with a five month old? Yes, dead easy. And here are some tips.
Would I travel with a five month old with friends who also have babies? Yes, everyone’s in the same boat. You can all work things out together.
Would I travel with DH and/or immediate family on a family holiday with a five month old? Absolutely - easy, and here are some tips.
Would I go on a shopping weekend away with childless friends? Not a fucking chance. They would spend the whole time being quietly irritated that their weekend is being dictated by a baby; I would spend the whole time dying inside that my baby is dictating everyone’s weekend. There are no tips to give because that’s beyond practicalities of carry cots and breast pumps.

OP, it is certainly ‘doable’ of course, but the point is do you really want to do it.

There is no doubt that a baby there will change the dynamic and I think inevitably you will feel stressed if, for example, you feel under pressure when all about to leave the accommodation to go out and the baby suddenly needs a complete change of nappy and outfit, or he is crying early in the morning when others are sleeping.

It is different when you go away with your partner, the baby is the focus and priority for both of you and you can go at your own pace and work round the unexpected. Regardless of how encouraging your friends are of you to bring the baby now, the reality of having a baby in the group could cause friction or resentment when away.

If you really don’t feel ready to leave him with his dad, it might be better to decline this time rather than set yourself up for an endurance test. We all have different seasons in our lives and there will be other trips which you can enjoy more fully, if you do decide to pass on this one.

eminado hardly! My post is obviously centred around DS because that's what my AIBU is about. This isn't AIBU to go away with my friends 🙄

You came here asking for an opinion, unless you thought Mumsnet was some hipster, 'primary carer' (that's a new one to me, parents are surely equal) BF at all costs, group of Mum's who can afford to go to Paris in ML also want baby with them and attended to at all times, group of people.

It does sound bonkers to go away with a baby, by 5 months I was getting dressed and going out. Never when it wasn't necessary though.

I'm just thinking yummy germs from travelling, which could result with an even grumpier poorly baby. Instead of skin care boutiques, you'll be searching for chemists.

No-one is saying it's not possible to travel abroad with a five month old. What they are saying is it isn't really appropriate for a girl's weekend away

While I totally agree with you that it would not be my cup of tea to go away for a girls weekend with a 5 month old, I like spas, I like boozing, I like hillwalking on girls weekends, but I don’t think I speak for the entire population of female humanity with my preferences. If these women have suggested bringing the baby and the OP is certain they both happily agree then I don’t see how my views on a girls trip are remotely relevant. I know for example my childfree SIL have come with me and my kids and have loved it. I think why would you inflict that on yourself, they don’t.

Just go with baby sounds like you have lovely friends who really want you to go and will help you, it's not a piss up trip, it's sightseeing and eating lovely food kind of trip!
Iv taken an 8 month old to Florida before and I've taken an 18 month old......trust me when I say it's hell of a lot easier to travel with a baby than a toddler!
Take pram/carry cot and a sling so you have the option of using both.

Have fun xx

Yabu if I was going off with the girls with no hubby n no kids I wouldn't be impressed if someone brought their baby

Sorry

Op I don't know why you came on here looking for opinions when you have clearly made your mind up before posting.

Fwiw even though your friends seem like they want baby along... they probably don't really. The whole weekend will be all about you and baby and keeping to baby schedule. I think you'd be extremely selfish to bring baby but maybe that's what you want... a weekend with your friends fawning over you and dancing to the beat of your drum.

Someone asked about a passport - does baby have one?
Could you just do one night instead to make it easier to leave baby? Sounds like a short break might do you good.

Absolutely do go! It sounds like a lovely thing and your friends sound fantastic. If they spend time lots of time with you both, they likely have a very good idea of what it'll be like, but in the worst case scenario I presume they could do their own thing while you and baby potter about.

The pumping thing is a drag – been there – but I did trips with a 5-6 month old in the same circumstances and had a good time (both travelling solo and on trips with family/friends).

Be sure you both have an up-to-date EHIC card (Brexit timing depending) and/or travel insurance. (I say this mainly in case you get mastitis, which I unfortunately did once when on holiday.)

If you don't want to cosleep, you could also check out pop up travel cots like the koo-di (I took it on a hiking trip but did end up cosleeping). They pack tiny but I'd get the larger version as the little bassinet is only good to about 6 months. Or, you could ask your AirBNB if they have a travel cot available.

I find France more baby-friendly in terms of meals and cafes. Fewer people breastfeed past a few months but I haven't had funny looks or anything like that.

Most people in Paris seem to have the Babyzen Yo-yo (which I can also recommend!). Or there are various similarly small competitor pushchairs out there (eg Silvercross Jet, Maclaren Atom, Bugaboo Ant) so you could splash out on one if you're able to and would find it useful for travel in the future too. They're very nifty and narrow, and also pack to hand baggage size.

Do you envisage baby napping in the pushchair in a cafe while you sip coffee without fear of spilling it? If so, pushchair definitely worth it; but if you have a velcrobaby anyway, you can definitely manage with just a sling and this makes packing even more of a breeze!

A final tip is to bring/buy some hand-wash soap for clothes, then you can pack light by bringing fewer clothes.

I think that this is batshit.

The logistics of a bf (with issues!) baby, taking pumping equipment, faff around whether prams will fit... It all sounds stressful logistically, nevermind other practical issues like baby getting overtired, having nowhere to make up formula if expressing window is lost (feck knows where you'll be able to hook up somewhere quiet to pump when out)... And to be on a jolly trip with the girls who'll want to be shopping for hours, staying out later etc...

I just can't imagine how I could do that from a practical pov with a bf baby on my own while expressing and trying to keep my milk supply up...
I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.

I'd leave baby at home with DH (if he'd not be capable, it's 5 months late but time to learn) if I was truly desperately wanting Togo. Then just pack the pump and you're sorted.

Oh gosh, don't do it!

Your childfree friends have no idea what's in store for them

It's ur dh child to not just urs. You don't want him too look after her for 48 hours after 5 months? wow 😯 it's a lot of hassle for you and young baby specially just for 2 days ..

@Patapouf could you maybe write down what your daily routine is for DS currently and what he uses/needs throughout the day, it might make it easier for us to tell you what would be essential to pack and what you can get away without.

How does baby sleep at night? How active in the day time is he?

It's a bit of a bonkers plan but if you are determined to go I think minimal packing will be difficult but possible. If buggy has a pram bed then that should do for sleeping. Take a sling too. Then breast pump, sterilising bags (can you access a microwave?), plenty of nappies and changes of clothes, and 2 baby sleeping bags. Hat, sunscreen and basic first aid kit for baby. Presumably you will only manage all this if you have a large rucksack as suitcase won't work. Use your baby bag as your handbag. Be VERY minimal on your own packing. A few outfits that roll up small and don't crease. Layers to cope with temperature changes.

Are you sure something like a Forest Holidays hot tub break wouldn't work better?