To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

@HeadintheiClouds you posted twice on this thread, once to say that nobody cares then why are you here and again to tell me off for being rude. If you don't give a shit why comment? You haven't even responded to my OP which is weird, it's almost as if you just enjoy an AIBU pile-on...

And the less you need to do the better. You are only going for two days?

Would recommend not looking like a turtle! Don’t bring all Muslims and don’t wash clothes! Babies only need a few baby grows and you can bring s lightweight sleep bag for night. Don’t pack masses yourself.

Pack really light. Then you arrive refreshed. Buggies can be bought up to plane steps or used to put baby to sleep flat on the train

Bring a buggy! You can get around Paris without the metro.

I’ve travelled solo with no help with babies and had a wonderful time.

@Longlongsummer it's tricky, because there are definite pros and cons to a sling and buggy so I think I'd end up having to use both.

A sling means hands free, not worrying about navigating metro stairs, cobbles or narrow pavements and crowds. But it also means having to bear the weight of a baby all day long, and even in a great carrier that's going to be an achey back weekend! I don't think they are great for all waking hours of the day, and if you haven't taken a pram out there's nowhere safe to put the baby down.

Prams are awkward but some can be used overnight and I think they are better than slings for naps. It's also somewhere to stash the changing bag so I don't have to carry much. The thought of trying to squeeze one inside a cafe or a terrace is dreadful and I'd have to wait outside some of the best shops pharmacies for skincare They are great for stealth nappy changes when there's no facilities nearby but if baby is unsettled then it's a pain to have to carry a baby and push a buggy.

Thanks @Maltay I have some microwave sterilising pouches in my amazon basket now

No problem, I'm sure you'll find a routine when you're there, and they'll have pharmacies and supermarkets there so try not to worry. It's actually quite nice going away when they're little - they just happily sit in a pram most of the day watching the world go by and you can still enjoy yourself

Aargh, bloody iPhone, typed my post only for it to disappear. Sorry OP, my original post was far more considerate, this is a truncated version

First of all, ignore all the naysayers, this is entirely doable given your description of the proposal. Secondly, these are my travel-related nuggets that I learnt the hard way:

1. I know you've been to Paris, but please remind yourself how shitty the weather can be in Oct/Nov - make sure you have a good raincover for the pushchair, warm (sheepskin) liner + woolly sleeping bag for baby with strategic holes for straps (heaps of room for kicking in the pushchair then, unlike a snowsuit type outfit - at that age they are too constricting. Or maybe my babies were/are too fat ). Oh and a good (rain) jacket for you, preferably one with an insert that would cover baby in carrier too. Umbrellas are a pain with babies, don't pack one. If you get desperate, you can buy a memento umbrella in Paris. Lastly, wear a scarf - wide, breatheable, soft pashmina type - gives baby something to play with, serves as feeding /sleeping cover + protects you from the elements if the baby is in the carrier/your jacket is open.

1. Pushchair (you mentioned pram w carrycot - I wouldn't bring one of those - it's probably too wide) - my personal favourite is Edwards and Co - collapses to fit in overhead compartment, narrow enough to get through all aisles, light enough to lift with baby in it by yourself + comes with its own carry bag (on shoulder strap) + can lie flat so even a newborn can sleep in it. DD is a giant 5 month old and still sleeps in it very comfortably. Also great for stealth nappy change.

1. Instead of a nappy bag, have a backpack and change wallet. Make sure backpack is not wider than your own back. This way for main travel you can have baby in carrier in front/ backpack on back, all your other stuff in one suitcase/bag on wheels + folded up pram slung over the shoulder (friends will help you with the last two, but if they can't you can actually manage by yourself and still have one hand free - this is important!). Also pickpockets - my (luckily empty) jacket pocket was explored by an unassuming looking gent a couple of years ago in Paris - he must have thought I was too preoccupied with toddler DS at the time, bastard! Anyway, avoid any valuables in the backpack outer pocket(s) (or nappy bag if you decide to take it).

1. Typical hotel won't have a kitchenette - our last one didn't even have a kettle, although we booked a family room . Look at airBnB or serviced apartment. If they offer baby gear - take it (e.g. even if you think you might not need that baby bath, chances are DC will come out in nappy rash due to bum wipes on the day you leave). Organise things so that check in /check out times match your arrival departure /arrival times - avoid having hours to spend with no accommodation back up. Remember the first rule of travel with baby: If shit can go wrong, it probably will - although don't be alarmed, if you are prepared, only little things go wrong :)

1. Drying space for expressing equipment will be needed (another plug for avoiding hotels) - I usually buy a roll or two of kitchen towels as soon as I arrive and use them to delineate no-go baby feeding equipment drying area as they are great at absorbing moisture, obvious to all concerned and easily changeable.

1. Apologies if you already said it, but if your baby isn't sleeping in a sleeping bag now (or hasn't been in a carrier), start getting them used to those as soon as possible. It takes a while with some babies (yes DD I'm looking at you).

1. Insulated pouch(es) for milk bottle(s) on the go to keep the milk at appropriate temp while out and about.

1. Apartment buildings often don't have lifts and you can't leave the pushchair downstairs b:c it can get stolen- ask about floors/stairs when booking. Yes, some have terrible sound proofing too - read reviews!

1. Try to avoid public transport on outings - unless single journey there/back + try to find somewhere that gets you to Gare du Nord easily w transport + all your shops of interest are reachable on foot.

I think there might have been something else, but hopefully I got most of the important bits for you. Feel free to PM me if you need more ideas :)

If it's your friends idea to bring the baby, then they are nuts & haven't thought it through. Unless you are planning a very quiet low key weekend, which at a push you might get away with. You'd be mad to do it.

I took my 5 month old on a weekend work trip to Paris. It was hell. Just don't.

Maybe RTFT RockinHippy?

Thank you @autumnmeerkat and @purplewhitegreen

Fortunately DS is pretty used to a carrier, I'm hoping he will still like being in one in a few months time!

I do agree that an Airbnb is probably the easiest way, even if check in is slightly more faff than a hotel in that you have to liaise with the key holder rather than just stroll up to the reception desk.

It certainly seems my holidays from now on are going to be even more hard work than being at home

@RockinHippy I think taking a baby on a work trip is an even worse idea than taking a baby on holiday

Pump up a supply. Leave the baby at home. Have fun with your mates. Pump and dump at convenient times a tthe air bnb and then go home. I'd be mightily peeved if I had to accommodate someone's kid on a girls weekend. And Ive got 4 of my own. Either go without them or don't go. Its selfish and will be a nightmare.

It certainly seems my holidays from now on are going to be even more hard work than being at home

That's been my experience in many ways, except that on holiday dh is generally there too and not going off to work so we have shared the load. Nothing like a holiday to throw a child's routine out of the window and knacker you out though.

OP, I would say definitely go, but plan down time for yourself and baby, and send your friends off to do things on their own while you both get a break.

I went for a weekend away in Barcelona when my 2nd was a bit older than that and I did it alone. I think that’s much more tricky. I literally had to chase after him crawling around the airport (early crawler) while I tried to disassemble the pushchair to check on the plane.

You will have to go at a different speed than normal and probably much slower than your friends, but just plan that into your day. I got up and we out in the mornings and then relaxed in the flat in the afternoons and then went out again in the evenings. It meant we didn’t get too burnt out. The afternoons would give your friends time to do their own thing and you can rest and express. I got a place with a roof terrace so I could at least sit outside and enjoy the city, even when I was just sitting in the flat for a few hours.

Even on my own, it was absolutely doable and it was great. If your friends are happy with the plan, why not? They don’t have kids so they can have a relaxing childfree weekend anytime. We did weekends away with friends and our first (we were the only one in our friend group to have dc at the time). It was fine. We got a little break with lots of people to dote on her and keep her entertained, and they got rare time with all of us together (which isn’t possible now that we all have dc and busy professional lives, etc). I think the people saying not to go are perhaps just a bit jealous.

It has just dawned on me why your reply to me about your dh didn't sit well with me. By saying you can't leave baby home with dad because you would miss him, while even though dad has suggested you do it, you know he won't miss baby because he will just be glad of two nights unbroken sleep is so loaded and perpetuates so much that is a bit crap in shared parenting.

Anyway I think it's clear you are determined to take baby, no matter what anyone else suggests, so I hope you have fun. That's what counts I guess.

There are some fucking mean people on this thread.

Op, go on your trip and have fun. I’m sure your baby will be perfectly content in his sling. He’s far too young to be without you.

My pfb was three before I left him overnight. Even that was emergency surgery! I ended up with severe separation anxiety because I had a shit mother in law who tried to take my child away from me.

Don’t listen to people online who don’t know you or your child. Go, it’ll be an experience and life’s about experiences.

I don't get people who think they know exactly what the OPs friends are all thinking better than the OP. How can you know what they are thinking?

In that case there's no point to OP asking on AIBU.

@MyOtherProfile do you really think parenting ought to be 50/50 split when a baby is BF and the mum is still on maternity leave? It's not possible for DH to do half of everything, he works full time

My AIBU wasn't 'is it fair on my friends' it was asking for tips on managing a 5 month old on a weekend trip to Paris!

Of course it's not going to be 50/50 when their main activity is feeding and you are the sole person feeding the baby . Our course , as the baby grows older , starts weaning etc , that balance will shift and become more equal . It's a short time in a child's life and considering you carried him / her for 9 months there could be a stronger maternal attachment , initially . Mine all forgot me once the breastfeeding stage was over !
You know your baby best and what you can manage . I'd go and enjoy it with the baby but be prepared to have to cut any day trips short and leave your friends to it if things get tricky . Mine was in a sling most of the time but he was clingy at home anyway so I had built up my upper body because of the prolonged slinging at home so back pain issues was not an issue . He's now 3.5 and doesn't even let me cuddle him and totally independent but yes I did Sling him round much of Europe once !

You just need to decide if you want to free yourself from being so anxious and give your husband an opportunity to experience a weekend with his baby as the extra bonus ... If you don’t feel able to be apart. From your baby then don’t over think it ..... millions of people travel with babies

Enjoy it either way ... you have lots of support for either decision

I repeat: don't take a buggy or crib. Rent a buggy when you get there (I can recommend a Paris-based company if you like) and rent an AirBNB that already has a crib. You can get away with just a baby carrier.

AIBU

To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

Presumably the above is a question. People have answered that question. If you do not want answers, do not ask.

It’s really pretty simple.

I read your comments OP.
Having a baby is as stressful as you choose to make it. BF is so much easier, you just need to find a quiet place to feed.
I used to pack loads of nappies and 3 clothing changes for days out.
Take the pram and save your back, i bet your friends will help push or carry, we always put everyones bags on the pram base.
You say your not night owls, but people do seem to be willing to let you bring babies into most cafe and museums, as they want your money.
Enjoy your holiday.

I find Paris quite a stressful city as it is and I really think you will be making life difficult.

Can you get an Elvie pump? That would be great to pump with whilst seated at a cafe as you won't need to be hooked up to a plug and it's very quiet.
If your friends are happy with this, and it's not a party type of girls trip... I'd say to go for it. Children don't need to be a burden