To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

Gosh, I can't believe how intolerant the majority of posters are. Baby will be happier with you than at home. I'm sure dad is capable but a breastfed baby always wants to be with their mother more than they crave any kind of routine or familiar surroundings. You are your infants priority and he won't care where you go. It is completely natural and healthy for you to want to be with him more than you need a break. These days don't last forever. He will have doting 'aunties' who weren't wishing they were partying from what you have said, and it's Paris, not a long haul. Go, and enjoy it OP. Can you get to a sling library and hire a sling for the trip? Take the pram for travelling (could double up as a bed for naps or night time too) and use the sling for the narrow street trips?

Littlewriggler she precisely asked if she wbu to take the baby to Paris. She is. She's taking him anyway. I think she's mad.

What a load of judgemental and crabby posts here! Of course you can go! Sounds like your friends know what they're in for, and babies that age are often quite easy travellers. I'd bring the sling and a pop-up travel cot, or maybe borrow one of those buggies that reclines fully, with a baby nest? If you're not used to co-sleeping, I wouldn't do it for the first time on the trip. Or find baby friendly accommodation, where you can rent things! There's a market for that too:

en.parisinfo.com/practical-paris/Paris-for-families/everything-for-baby

However, if you yourself feel anxious about the trip, do reconsider leaving him with DH. It's just a few days.

I think you will be ok.

A baby that age should be ok as they won't want to be out crawling or walking.

As you have lived in Paris your anxiety would be reduced with regards to navigating a foreign city. So that makes a huge difference.

Chose your airbnb well so that you have your own room, and check reviews to see how noisy it is. Pack ear plugs for your friends.

I find it strange that you are even thinking about this, it wouldn't be a girly weekend with a baby in tow, if DH can't look after him I wouldn't go I was invited to a similar weekend when I had a young baby I never even thought about going with or without my baby

OP when your friends asked you, did they do it with the expectation that you'd leave your child with their father? Have you till now said that you would but then changed your mind close to the time? If they've known all along that your baby will come then it's fine.

I guarantee your friends are either just being polite or have absolutely no idea how much of a nightmare it will be. If you don’t want to stop bf then I’d suggest pumping to generate enough stock that can be left at home, and taking a pump away with you to keep your supply going until you get back.

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous.

So not only have they been too polite to tell you not to take your pfb to Paris, you are also expecting them to do their share of baby care? Yes, it probably will be disastrous but you don't seem to care so bon voyage.

I don't want to leave DS but I resent being told I shouldn't

Why the hell did you ask then?

The OP's thread title was AIBU to take a 5 month old to Paris?
And then to ask for tips.
The majority the advice has been not to do it.
She is somewhat pissed off that more people didn't think it was a great idea and give her advice.
But yes do it, plenty of babies live there
That's exactly the same scenario isn't it.

It’s a terrible idea sorry. The sort of idealistic plan cooked up by someone who has never looked after a baby. I speak as someone who took a 10 month old to Paris on my own. Had a great time but went to stay with friend who lived there with a toddler and similar aged baby herself so it worked well. She had all the kit and her dh babysat when we had the odd night out. An unsupported girls trip is madness.

As long as your friends are good with it (sounds like they are) i think it'll be fine. Honestly, a five month old is relatively easy to travel with. They are still immobile (just meaning not walking or crawling). I took mine everywhere with me at that age. In my mind it's so much better than being separated. As a matter of fact, i think its great to make the most of your mat leave. As long as you don't allow yourself to overthink it, you'll have a blast. Have a great time!

In terms of advice, I would take a light pram, because you will both fry if you use a sling and it is hot. A sling is easy to pack as an addition for certain outings or if it is cool, and you can leave the pram behind.
Remember your friends love you, so if the baby is grizzling/ shits everywhere just before to leave for an event/ as you sit down/ when the food comes/ apologise ruefully and joke about what a toad he/she is and remember they won’t be as bothered as you.
If the baby is really cranky, then take it out and I get you are super happy to catch up with them later once you’ve settled S/he Who Must Be Obeyed.

People keep suggesting leaving baby at home with Dad like it is such an easy solution for a BF mother. It is not.

Agree with this too. I ff ds1 and 2 and could easily leave them with dh.
I bf ds3 and it’s a whole different ball game, you can’t just up and leave them with someone.

I'm not saying I resent being told not to go at all, I'm grateful for the brutal honesty of MN. I'm saying I resent being told my place is at home with the baby as one PP insinuated.

I'm on the app so replying to individual posters is a faff, but whoever said the best outcome possible will be that I feel relieved the weekend wasn't a disaster is right. I do think that it will be something to 'get through' rather than enjoy.

I'm really confused, did everyone else here just stay at home until their babies were ... how old?

It's perfectly possible to travel with a baby.

Is this something your friends are definitely happy with? As other have said it will change the dynamic of the time away quite significantly. Plus practically lm guessing others will not want to be woken by baby while you are away

I don't understand why everyone is so negative. I think it should be fine - I went abroad with my 4 month old without too many problems. I did find he got tired easily so best not to do loads every day and stay in for the evening, but as long as your friends understand that I don't see the big deal. It's only a couple of days. I think it will be more stressful for your baby to be apart from you at this stage.

Agree with this too. I ff ds1 and 2 and could easily leave them with dh.
I bf ds3 and it’s a whole different ball game, you can’t just up and leave them with someone.

Snap Coolwife exactly the same for me. 2 FF and 1 BF. I would have thought there was no big issue about leaving a BF baby until I had one. A day maybe with a lot of hard work before and after for mother but over 2 days it is simply not worth the hassle.

Actually given that he's mostly fed expressed milk, not direct from the breast, it probably would be fairly easy as presumably dad feeds him a lot anyway. When I was expressing, before DD could latch properly, DP did a lot of the feeds and she still happily takes a bottle now, so I can leave them for the weekend with a supply of milk.

How does the dad feel about being separated from baby for two days when you take baby away?

I get where you're coming from, but I think you should go and relax for a couple of days in Paris with your friends. I don't think you will find it very relaxing with your baby unless you get very lucky. Also agree that your friends probably haven't realised the extent to which their schedule will be dictated by your baby's needs, plus all the extra items they will end up carrying around for you.

I think most people who don’t have babies have no idea how full on it is all the time. Especially with feeding issues.

My children never slept when we were away. That was a surprise to me. (An overseas trip at 15months was exhausting)

So no, not unreasonable to assume they have no clue what they are suggesting.

Check out the Facebook group Travel the world with your kids. They have loads of great advice for travelling with babies.

You were asking for tips to make it less stressful and have since said it's something to 'get through'. It sounds like you're not looking to it at all. You don't have to go.

* I do think that it will be something to 'get through' rather than enjoy.*

Then why go? It seems like a waste of time and money if that's the case! If you won't enjoy it, then it's pointless going. Don't go just because your friends want you there; go because you will have a good time!