To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet

So you can't go then, can you? It is totally unfair to inflict your PFB on your friends who are up for a fun adult weekend away.

Totally, horribly inappropriate and if I were one of the other women in the group I'd be furious.

Sounds like you have lovely friends OP

I think the op has very polite friends.

Personally I’d bet that the friend who offered for op to take the baby did so fully thinking the op would decline...and the other friend is now quietly fuming but just too nice and polite to say anything.

Silly idea op. You’re going to ruin the weekend for all 3 of you which is very unfair.

Going against the grain here. If your friends are genuinely keen for this trip to happen with the baby then why not. Invest in a Babyzen Yoyo pushchair or similar, and pack as minimally as you can - I reckon you can get everything you need in one large rucksack, possibly plus a changing bag. 5 month old babies don't need that much stuff and you don't have to worry about feeding them solids at least (which involves extra stuff like bibs, snacks and cups etc). Just make sure the place you stay has a travel cot or a double bed so you can cosleep. By contrast my toddler seems to need a hell of a lot of stuff in terms of toys, books etc plus would not be a good candidate for doing stuff I want to do like museums!

Okay OP. First like others I would have my reservations about doing a girls holiday with a baby but you have answered that issue.

I travelled lots with small babies. Paris with Dd1. No big fuss. We used a sling a fair bit but also a buggy. I wasn’t BF her but I have BF so on that I would not leave a 5 month old BF baby with its Dad for 2 days. Expressing for that long is no fun and many people suggesting that have probably not much experience of BF. DD1 slept through the days while we were away. Wrapped up snuggly in her buggy. She was absolutely brilliant. We went everywhere Louvre, Arc de Eiffel Tower but didn’t go up, I’m a chicken shit. Boat trip on the Seine. Had a ball.

NB. Prepare yourself to be slightly disillusioned by the reality of holidaying with a small person 😞

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours

In terms of actual advice, if you are expressing have you considered how to store milk when out and about? If it's hot then your milk will probably need to be kept in a cool bag or similar unless it is consumed within a couple of hours. Will you have access to a fridge at your accommodation? Is your pump portable? You can get Milton wipes to clean down the parts if you don't have access to hot soapy water when out and about.

I have Elvie pumps which would be amazing for this but they're v expensive so not really worth for one trip.

Maybe your DH would like some alone time with the baby himself?

OP

I don't think it's fair to say that those without children don't understand how hard it is.

I think it is actually VERY fair to say that!

Your friends may have suggested this but if they don't have children themselves, they have no idea what they are letting themselves in for.

Just go for a night if you're worried about 2 nights.

I suspect your childless friends are not experienced enough with small babies to not understand the reality - especially if you're expressing. Although if breastfeeding is still not going well after all this time, you should really think about just switching to formula.

It sounds like a bad idea. If you're not ready to leave baby at home then you're not ready to go away for a weekend either. Sorry OP, but this is one case where you can't have/do it all.

Be sensible and sit this one out. There'll be other weekends.

You may regret it,and not get to see and do much in Paris, but hey ho,I am worrier and wouldn't take a baby away like this, especially on a girl's weekend away.

OP - Should I take baby on a girl's weekend to Paris ?
MN - No !
OP- I resent being told I shouldn't"

Neither of them have children (yet) and I have voiced all of my concerns re: feeding, sleeping etc etc etc and they are being reassuring

Because they haven't a CLUE about what it's like being with a baby for the weekend?

Seriously OP, get a grip. You have two choices. Leave the baby at home with your competent DH. Or don't go.

It's a nice idea if the mates are so supportive. It just might not go the way you want it to, babies are rather unpredictable. I guess you won't know till you try.

"I resent being told I shouldn't"
You bloody asked.

No she didn't, she asked for tips on taking a baby to Paris.

I'd do it. Paris is lovely and plenty of babies live there. It's a child friendly city. Take a sling, take a breastpump that's easy to clean with no faffy bits in case there's no easy way to sterilise it, and have fun!

OP. You and your friends say you want your baby there. Please don't take account of what a load of randoms on MN think when none of them know any of you in RL.

I probably wouldn't go as just too much hassle tbh. However I have travelled all over the world alone with two children with additional needs from when they were aged four onwards despite every other person I tell expressing concern at how I will cope? Just fine it appears . My point is everyone can manage different things and I think if I had two solidly supportive friends who knew me and my child well and wanted us there I would seriously consider going.

Ah! I think they have no idea how much it will impact on things, and the best result for you would be relief that you got through it without ruining everyone else’s weekend. You will be in a state of permanent hyper-vigilance and it will be tiring and stressful.
They sound absolutely lovely, but I think they have a rose-tinted idea of what it will be like. Even good babies have rotten timing. Paris isn’t great with pushchairs, DD2 is in a wheelchair. You will feel like a hot, sweaty mess.
I mean fingers crossed for you if you go ahead, but I think you’d be better off snuggled up at home and go when your baby is a bit older and you are happy to leave him or her with DH.

I have voiced all of my concerns re: feeding, sleeping etc etc etc and they are being reassuring. I don't think it's fair to say that those without children don't understand how hard it is

Why? They’re childfree and no, I don’t think they understand how hard it will be.

In a queue for an attraction and baby does a leaky explosive poo? You all have to leave immediately.

Same for it baby is screaming in a restaurant or cafe.

Delayed leaving in the morning if baby just won’t feed.

More bags for everyone to carry (as your lovely friends probably wouldn’t leave you carry them all).

More restrictions all round.

Before you have a baby you visit babies. And you enjoy them and hand them back and go home to a good meal and nights sleep.
Your friends can be as reassuring as they like...they haven’t experienced the reality have they?

You have...and tbph you should know better op.

I’d tell you I was ok with it but I’d be really annoyed about a baby coming. It will change the whole trip.
If your friends don’t have kids, they Have no idea how much it will change the trip. If they do have kids, they are probably wanting a weekend away from children.

Leave baby with your husband, or if you can’t, stay home (what I did).

As far as traveling with a child, it takes more planning, but is not very difficult. And you are going to France, not Africa. So everything you need will be readily available.

I couldn't think of anything worse! I did a citybreak with a tiny baby but that was with my dh. She slept and fed and it was lovely. Wouldn't have chanced it with anyone else though.

BF babies are really difficult to separate from their mothers for 2 days. Every time the baby needs to feed the mother needs to express or her supply drops off and she risks mastitis from blocked ducts. People keep suggesting leaving baby at home with Dad like it is such an easy solution for a BF mother. It is not.

Ok here's a few thoughts from someone who travelled a fair bit on my own with a baby in his first year for different reasons:

1. Have you considered what if your baby starts solids before you go? That's a pain because it's not as easy as expressing / bf

1. Think about a pop up cot like this one- tool it all over with mine as it is so portable.

www.amazon.co.uk/Samsonite-Pop-Up-Bubble-Colour-Creme/dp/B0006SMQL2?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

1. Think again about leaving baby at home with dad. You say you will miss him but perhaps dad feels the same and would miss him. It's one weekend - good bonding time for them.

1. Slings are wonderful but if you're planning lots of walking round I would stick to a small collapsible buggy. Easier for carrying extra stuff and for baby sleeping although mine always slept well in the sling too.