To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

We have all been to Paris together before for a similar weekend.

But with a baby?

And you say your friends have spent a lot of time with your DS, but do they actually have/had babies themselves? If no, then they really, truly have no idea what they’re suggesting. I would agree with the PP who thinks they’re under the impression that it’ll make some nice Insta posts for them, not quite realising how much they’ll be sabotaging a weekend away in the process.

No. Don't go. Please Don't take a baby on a girls weekend. I would not be impressed if you did.

Is your dh not offended? Even if he says eh isn't I bet deep down he is. Imagine if it were the other way around that your dh didn't want to leave ds with you.....not nice op

Your friends are being kind, I would cancel if I were you, and if you were my friend, i would also cancel as it's not what I'd signed up for.

Would be a complete spoiler for me if somebody brought their baby along. Dont do it..or just dont go.

My DD is 6 months old and very easy but no way would I do this! My DP is looking after her for two nights next month while I'm away at a conference and while I will miss her loads, it'll be good for them both to have time together. And I'm looking forward to two days of being an adult and doing adult things!

msJaneAusten thank you, I was thinking pram carry cot could be used for sleeping. If I only take a sling I'd lose the option. Im not sure if im brave enough to cosleep.

cantthinkofanythingrightnow I'm lucky that supply doesn't seem to be an issue but I live in fear of mastitis if I don't pump often enough.

And I completely understand you not wanting to leave your PFB - I was exactly the same. I couldn’t be apart from either of mine until they were well past 18 months old. I’m sure your DH is perfectly capable, but you could never enjoy yourself being away from your baby - I completely understand that. But I really don’t think you’ll enjoy yourself going with your baby either and neither, especially, will your friends. I really don’t think you can have your cake and eat it too in this scenario, sorry.

what sort of a break are you going to get with the baby? Just stay at home and put on a beret.

It's bizarre that everybody feels a girls' weekend automatically means loads of booze and clubbing 'til dawn That's clearly not what the OP and her friends are planning. And if she does need to retire earlier than them one night, so what? The alternative is not going, which would leave the two of them on their own anyway.

Your dh must feel utterly.offended that you don't trust him with his own child, surely?

This is nonsense; not wanting to leave a breastfed 5mo has got nothing to do with not trusting the father. I wouldn't have left either of mine at that age - not because I didn't trust my husband, but because tiny babies don't like being separated from their primary carer, especially if breastfed. That's a perfectly normal way to feel, and I can't believe the OP is being gaslighted for it.

OP - bring a sling, definitely. Mine would sleep in it for hours at that age while out and about. Maybe pushchair as well for sleeping in the evening while you eat. And enjoy it!

OP you will be fine. A breastfeeding baby is easy, just stick her on the boob wherever you can find a seat. She will nap in her pram while out and about. If you are worried about privacy around pumping etc just Google the places you are planning to visit to see if there are any feeding rooms etc.

For everyone saying not to do it to your friends- OP knows her friends. I have friends with kids that I love spending time with and would have really liked a weekend of Paris and baby cuddles. If OP makes it clear shes happy for the friends to go off and drink wine etc in the evening while she gets some rest with the baby then there is no problem.

Sorry not appropriate at all to take a baby on a girls weekend. Leave baby at home or cancel can't have it both ways I'm afraid x

but do the friends have children though ? they may have an idealised scenario in mind, dc will sleep when required, behave beautifully and be angelic at all times. in reality it can be very different. with the best laid plans dc can be difficult at any age.

Also I exclusively expressed for three months and wouldn't have found it enjoyable at all doing so while on holiday. It was hard enough trying to plan the day around it at home!

Absolutely ridiculous. Taking your baby on other people’s weekend away is beyond selfish but it actually sounds like you’ve already made your mind up.
Unless there’s something you’re not disclosing like you don’t feel your DH would be able to care for your baby adequately?
I left PFB DS for 4 days when he was 5mths to go to Spain. I was nervous and cried my eyes out leaving him but it was totally fine, I had a lovely break and DS had a lovely time with daddy who’s thankfully always been a very equal parent. If I’d genuinely felt like I couldn’t bear to be parted from him (which is perfectly valid if that’s how you feel) then I would have dropped out and gone the next time! It would never have been an option to take him no matter how polite my friends were being.

I did this once going to Dublin. It was awful. Ruined it for everyone and just a very stressed out baby the whole time.

But you seem determined to ignore this sort of advice and go anyway.

More fool you.

Leave baby at home or cancel can't have it both ways I'm afraid x

Says who? Mumsnet? Of course she can, she's a grown adult wit good friends who she knows well enough to believe them when they've said they want the baby there.

If it was with my friends, bar one who is baby-crazy I’d say this was a terrible idea. But given a)your friends suggested it and b) they’re not ravers I’d say why not.

I’d take the pushchair and a sling, you can always leave the pushchair in the hotel if it’s not needed, but the streets aren’t that narrow and the metro is ok.

I say do it. On the condition that if there is any problem with DS you insist they continue without you.

FWIW DH thinks I should go and leave baby behind so that I can actually have a break. I think I would miss him too much though 🥺

I know it seems as if they are just being polite but I don't think that's the case, they are actively trying to persuade me to come and bring the baby. Neither of them have children (yet) and I have voiced all of my concerns re: feeding, sleeping etc etc etc and they are being reassuring. I don't think it's fair to say that those without children don't understand how hard it is.

For those who are suggesting it's for social media, we are all too old for that bollocks.

I have no problem with not going, but i don't want to not go just because of my anxiety. The PP that suggested the best thing for me to do is stay home with my baby has really raised my hackles. I don't want to leave DS but I resent being told I shouldn't 🤨

A weekend of Paris, baby cuddles and expressing ooh yes how fabulous.

I took mine everywhere with me, restaurants, sightseeing, holidays, but if I was invited on what you have termed a 'girls' weekend' away then I'd either decline or leave the kids at home and enjoy.
You won't listen though so go ahead go wild.

As much as I wouldn’t enjoy taking a baby on a city break or a girls weekend have you thought about putting him in a sling so you don’t have to push a buggy around all the time? You’d probably get boiling though wouldn’t you....... I’m not sure how you could pack light when you’ll need bottles, a pump, sterilising stuff...... good luck!

"I resent being told I shouldn't"
You bloody asked.

You will miss him but it’s two nights. It’s all very well your friends saying to bring him but they won’t realise the impact having a baby will have on the trip. They probably said to bring him as they knew you wouldn’t go without him.

I think the majority are telling you that you shouldn’t OP, to be fair.