To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

Everything is going to revolve around the baby's schedule. Not much fun is it.

OMG this is nuts!

motherheroic have you read the thread, out of interest?

Post 1:

What a ridiculous idea. Unbelievable, in fact.🙄🙄🙄

Haven't RTFT yet (27 pages!!).

I know Paris very well; I lived and worked in the area for 9 years, leaving in 2017, and as such I have been back to visit frequently in order to see friends, both before and during pregnancy as well as after having my son in late 2018.

I have visited twice with my son so far, and twice without.
On the two occasions I took him, he was 3 months old and 4 months old respectively - so not much younger than the OP's baby.
It is very easy to find reasonably-priced AirBNBs (though obviously the cost would go up quite a bit if travelling with a larger group - though maybe the cost per person might not change all that much) that have everything you need for a baby (cot bed etc) and you can also rent a stroller once in Paris if you don't want to bring one. Renting an apartment is always advantageous when travelling with a baby (even though babies love to explore hotel rooms!) in the sense that it offers you more options in terms of staying in (kitchen) and practicality (washing machine etc). My only recommendation would be to rent either a ground-floor apartment or one in a modern building that has a large elevator (some Parisian elevators in old buildings are barely big enough for you to even baby-wear, let alone also go all the way up to the apartment with baby + stroller and/or luggage!).
I will next be taking my baby when he is more mobile (in October, when he'll be 11 months old) and I'll be interested to see how that is. There is lots to do in Paris for children of all ages (libraries, parks etc) and I have taken him to restaurants there during the daytime with no problems. As others have pointed out, though, going out in the evening is clearly impossible so others in your group would need to be happy to stay in with you, or you would have to accept that they will (at least sometimes) go out without you.

The other option is of course to leave your baby at home with your husband and, as you say, make the most of your maternity leave.
My first trip to Paris without my son occurred when he was 6 months old, right at the end of my maternity leave; the second was a month later (I was attending a graduation). I'm not going to say it was easy to leave him behind, but he had already started at creche by that point (so I knew he would have fun/be well-stimulated and entertained during the day), and furthermore I trust my husband implicitly to look after our son (TBH I don't very well understand women who are that possessive over their babies that they won't leave them with anyone - even their own husbands...). On top of this, I'm a firm believer that you don't stop being a person when you become a parent - your life is not over just because you have had a baby and in your case I would say leave the baby at home with your husband, go on the girls' weekend without your baby, and have fun.

@Patapouf
Forgot to say that TBF I formula fed from day 1 so that always makes leaving baby easier from a practical standpoint (I don't know what you are doing).
If you insist on travelling with your child, then apart from my advice regarding renting Parisian apartments, my #1 piece of advice would be to vac pac everything for the baby (sleep sacks, muslins, everything). Child does not care if their clothes are creased.
However, I would still strongly advise you not to take the baby in this particular instance; do not let parenting become your whole self. Let your baby develop a relationship with her father too.

A couple more points:

Travelling alone with a baby is a challenge (even though I have done it since mine was very little and plan to continue to do so). I usually take:

• 1 large suitcase (half is for baby, half is for me)

• 1 backpack
• my handbag
• the baby's changing bag

and then baby-wear the baby.

As you can imagine, I look like a turtle every time I do this.
DON'T take a buggy. Trust me. You will not be able to carry it (except if VERY possibly you forgo the backpack I mentioned above for a bag for the buggy that you wear on your back).

Regarding breastfeeding, remember the Parisians/French generally are not especially pro-breastfeeding. The stereotype of their belief that boobs are for sexual purposes is not untrue. You may get abusive comments for breastfeeding in public that you would not get in the UK.

@TheLette you take toys and books for your toddler?
I rely near-fully on toy/book libraries at my destination and only take tiny books/toys for journeys...

DH and I took DD to Paris when she was 2 months old on a weekend trip with friends OP. We made sure we didn't ask anyone else to do anything with DD unless they literally took her from our clutches, and we tried to mitigate the impact on them (all of whom were absolutely fine with her coming - they were all her godparents and we have done similar trips with them since) and it was very enjoyable in the end.

I pumped too - got a little portable one and used the pram carrycot for sleeping. I'd advise taking a sling as well if you can though if you think you'll be going on the Metro a lot. DD slept in sling/pram so could wander around and have coffee/brunch while she slept.

So much catastrophising on this thread by people who don't seem to be able to wrap their heads around the fact that it's possible to have a very lovely holiday without getting pissed til all hours, baby or no baby.

If your friends are genuinely fine with it then go for it.

@Bugbabe1970 my OP says I lived in Paris, I think you win the award for least effort

Your friends sound lovely and if they are tee-total early nighters then I believe that they genuinely don't mind (unless you'll all be sharing a room? In which case that won't be fun for anyone!). But I have a 5 month old (my second DC) and there's no way in hell I'd put myself or the baby through it. Too stressful for everyone involved. Even with my first DC who was much more easy going than DC2, I think it would've been too stressful. If you don't feel ready to leave him, don't go.

@Bwekfusth the whole point is that baby is invited!

@exaltedwombat yes, I do. Why do you have a problem with that? Should women who are mothers stop wanting to enjoy themselves? Stop having friends? Stop travelling?

@clarehhh as a PP has pointed out, is it indeed very difficult to arrange childcare for children that do not exist! Thanks for your contribution to my thread, I can tell you've really digested all of my posts and have given this a lot of thought

@MyOtherProfile DH is besotted with DS but I think he would very much enjoy two nights of sleep without being disturbed. I think it's so lovely that you have thought of his feelings

@gill1960 why would I need to mix BM and formula? I've said multiple times that DS takes EBM in bottles. There's lots to parenting other than feeding a baby, and DH already does plenty of that (plus feeds!) I don't need to leave DS with DH so that he can show his nurturing side

@Lovemenorca I think I've covered that, I've also covered the fact that DS is not currently 5 months old. Are you genuinely curious as to why BF isn't going well? Are you a lactation consultant with lots of top tips for me?

Goodness - quite a line in sarcasm there OP.

No I’m not a lactation consultant but I struggled quite late on and so I was wondering if there was any specific.

But on the basis of your last post - I’ve totally lost interest.

Go. Don’t go. Who gives a toss anymore?

Who ever did!

Really rude, op.

I took my 5 month old to Paris and it was made doable because he was in a connecta sling the whole time . A pram would have been hell navigating tiny cobbled streets and staircases on the metro.

To be fair to OP, she came on and said:

• friends don’t drink alcohol
• she totally trusts DH but would miss the baby
• only 2 friends who are childless and happy to help out so it’s a quiet weekend, not a boozy, rowdy one

Then she’s had response after response of people who haven’t even read her own posts telling her how selfish she is to bring the baby cos everyone else will want to be drinking / others have left their children at home / why doesn’t she trust her DH / random accusations of her ruining a hen party.

I’d be fucked off too if I was OP.

It seems like no one can be bothered to even read the OP’s posts

I'm sorry in your first post you said that were breastfeeding and it wasn't going well.
Thats why I suggested bottles for you and your husband.

Sure why not?!

I’d hotel it though with a proper cot. And say to girls that you are in no way stopping them from letting their hair loose, that they do not have to work around you, but up for day time strolls, coffee and some evening meals but will just leave if baby is not amused.

Have fun!

Btw have taken a baby away on my own. Pack light is my advice. But bring essentials. For you that might be whatever the baby needs to eat, to sooth, blanket or whatever. Hotel and cot are useful as you can then let the baby go in there while you go to the toilet etc.

Planes are fine. Drinking on take off due to ears.

Lots of strolls with the buggy keep a baby distracted with so many new sights.

Don’t try to do too much.

@HeadintheiClouds how will I sleep at night knowing I've upset you so

Eh?

Personally I would definitely take a buggy. I found that this is very useful for things like, you are out and can say to a friend I’ve just got to pay for coffee and with a baby strapped in to a buggy it’s not s big ask for a friend. Slings mean that you are constantly connected and I don’t think they are healthwise recommended for kids for long times? Have to look that one up but they do really need to sleep flat for breathing don’t they?

@ShirleyPhallus cheers! I'm glad I'm not being oversensitive here.

@Lovemenorca if you read some of the responses I've had on this thread you would understand my defensiveness. I have been told by numerous posters to use formula, when my post was not asking for BF advice. Telling someone who is keen to BF but is struggling to use formula is totally shit advice anyway

I don't think it's fair for posters not to bother RTFT and then get shirty with me for being impatient and not wanting to repeat myself/ defend BF/ reiterate that I trust DH etc etc etc

Hi I have some advice in the logistics of expressing. You can Get these plastic reusable microwave pouches to put all the gear in and then microwave them for 5 mins. I also use the tub that the tommee tippee hand pump came in.
If you're having problems with latch have you tried using breast shields? They kind of make your nipple into a bottle teat - I used them for 5months before my DD got the hand of BF.
Oh and take a big jug and some Milton tablets in case there's no microwave xx