To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

Not quite the same but mine will be 14 months when we go to Paris and O can't wait! Hope it goes well. I'm sure you'll ve fine!

In my case it's based on kids that were a nightmare sleeping anywhere unfamiliar and enough trips cancelled last-minute due to vomiting bugs not to want to risk it.

My five month old came on my sisters hen do (abroad), we all still loved it! Everyone was happy, I was just a bit more flexible with routine, but still had an earlier night than everyone else! As long as you're comfortable go for it!

It changes the whole dynamic of the trip.

A girls weekend is meant to be carefree and fun where you can stay out late, drink, eat and be a little silly and relax.

With a baby around that just doesn't happen. My youngest is 5 months old and alothough she's good and sleeps well, she can be a pain and have her moments.

There's also the aspect of you need to put the baby first meaning one member of the group (you) would be out of sync and missing things.

Also, the likelihood of shitty weather is high.

Nor would I want to get caught up in any post-Brexit customs snare-ups with a small baby.

Can’t believe the amount of catastrophising on this thread. Some of my best trips have been with our kids, even as little babies. (In fact up to 8 months is great, 8 months to 2 years is more challenging).

Paris on the Eurostar is about as easy as it gets for a trip abroad. My final decision would come down less to how BF is going and more on how adaptable a sleeper/napper the baby is. DS was great, DD was great up to about 6 months and then terrible until about 11 months.

A girls weekend is meant to be carefree and fun where you can stay out late, drink, eat and be a little silly and relax

The OP has covered this numerous times. Her friends are religious and tee total. They don't want to stay out late partying.

They want to sight-see, visit nice cafes and just have a lovely time together.

Can’t believe the amount of catastrophising on this thread

I know, it's ridiculous!

one member of the group (you) would be out of sync and missing things.

She'll miss more things if she stays at home!

I do get the PFB thing, I also get you're hoping to establish BF over EBM. I just worry that the way you have this all framed in your head, when is going to be the best time to leave LO?

I think it does change the dynamic, even if you're meeting a friend with a baby / toddler for coffee. You find yourself focussed on the child and that all of their needs are met.

A sling is going to help you a lot, if you don't have one already, I'd started getting DS used to it now. When we went away with DC, maintaining a routine was important, I guess people are wondering how it's going to work, how happy baby will be, as that impacts everyone else.

I hope you have a great time regardless.

pata yes definitely from personal experience but from a different perspective from others.

While I was always happy to travel with DS (still am and he's 4 now) I also welcomed the opportunity to leave DS with my husband and Mil from an early age. Plus, DS was a terrible sleeper he hated naps and didn't sleep through until he was two so I jumped at any opportunity to have a couple of nights unbroken sleep!

It looks seems like a lot of hassle for very little gain. Do you see these friends regularly anyway or is this an annual type get together? I wonder whether you’d be better abandoning Paris and getting a cottage in this country where you can drive and load the car and not worry about travelling with everything. Or get your friends to come stay with you and have a few hours day out leaving baby at home with dh.

At 5 months they can be very grabby and even having coffee can be anxiety reducing as they try and grab hot cups at the table. As others have said some babies will be happy all day in a sling/buggy but others won’t.

If you’re determined to go then you need to consider:
-how are you getting to Eurostar? Do you have to travel alone on that bit of the journey and get across London ? Can you physically manage if you’ve got a travel cot?
-to avoid taking a travel cot can you book somewhere with one although you normally do need to take your own cot sheet. Your baby may be unsettled sleeping somewhere different though so be prepared that you may have a sleepless night
-if using a sling can you physically manage it? Baby will be significantly heavier by then and you’ll be carrying essentials like change of clothes/nappies
-at that time of year will there’s be a time difference? Just an hour or two can mess up their routine

I think for me the anxiety of the sleepless night and potentially keeping friends awake would outweigh any benefits. I’m not sure I could really enjoy a trip like that as I’d always be conscious that friends would need to fit in with the baby’s needs. It all depends how flexible your baby is but some do really like routine. If baby has a routine will you want to stick to it rigidly or are you prepared to be flexible? You know your friends-will they get peeved if you have to sit and feed for ages/hunt for baby changing/leave somewhere if baby is upset/potentially have their own sleep disrupted.

If you go I would talk to them honestly about what your needs are and the reality of being with a baby 24/7.

It is perfectly do-able especially as your friends are ok with it. 5 months is the perfect age for this sort of trip! Ignore the naysayers.

My advice would be:
At 5 months your baby can probably still sleep in the bassinet of your buggy (assuming that's your set-up) so you won't need a travel cot. Some MNers will throw their hands up in horror at this suggestion but it's only for a couple of nights and your baby will be absolutely fine. We actually took out Sleepyhead with us when we travelled with DD - if you have one and can carry it that would work well.
All you will really need to take apart from that is a sling and some changes of clothes for the baby. Don't lug around too many nappies and wipes etc. You can buy more when you get there. The beauty of a city break is that anything you forget/need - you can buy! Sun hat, mittens, whatever. They'll have it in Monoprix.
Mine was still not quite sleeping through at that stage so you'll definitely need your own room and preferably for it to be off the sitting room so that you can keep an ear out in the evenings without needing a baby monitor.
Agree about taking your own Calpol.

I hope you will have a great time and if it's stressful at moments here or there - so what! At least you'll have given it a go. You know Paris, you'll be with your friends - much better for you to go and try it rather than staying at home feeling like you're missing out.

5 months is the perfect age for this sort of trip!

Exactly! My mind was boggling at a PP who suggested putting it off for 6 months. A mobile baby will be much harder than a 5 month old!

Its ridiculous how many people have managed to turn this around to blame the DH. Some people just need to get a grip.
The op clearly states she is the one unsure of leaving her 5 month old, which is perfectly reasonable.

I agree that 5 months would be a great age to go rather than them older and mobile.

Get a good ergonomic baby carrier so you don't need to worry about pushchairs etc :) are you getting support with breastfeeding?

Many women learn to breastfeed with their baby in a carrier so they only need to come out for nappy changes and cuddles :)

I've travelled with a baby and friends. It's not a drama. If your friends are truly ok with it (mine suggested it) then why not? It's France not Antarctica
Sling, back pack, good shoes!

I took my 5 month old and it worked really well so I would say do it (I went there on my own with him) I also EBF and there were no issues and I fed him everywhere. The Eurostar is great and they let you on first which is helpful. Have you got a sling to carry him as bringing a buggy will make it trickier as there are lots of steps. The Metro is great and so are the buses. We used the tourist bus as well and that was fun as you can fit a lot in and there are things for them to see. I also took him to galleries and sites and he seemed to have a jolly time with everyone being incredibly friendly with him. Go and have an amazing time!

You really want it ALL don't you!

A more “typical” girls weekend ie similar to one I just got back from.
Lots of walking during the day, then slip in to costumes, pour champagne and sit in hot tub catching up on life and then go out for indulgent long leisurely dinner - no, a 5 month old wouldn’t work

But yours isn’t like that. In bed at 9 (and that was was three women without children!). So given what you’ve described it as - sounds like a baby won’t really impact at all

Just read the headline and that was enough YABU.

Sorry not read thread

Breastfeeding not going well after 5 months... how come?

Your friends are being kind, but the bottom line is that it wouldn't be fair on any of you. If your baby is unsettled in its routine at home, it could be far worse in an unfamiliar place. If you decide to go on the trip, please consider leaving baby with the father, or ask a relative to help out and stay at your home.

As much as I'd like to say yes , it really isn't a very good idea (& I've got kids) and yes whilst it could be doable it'll probably make u miserable and it's meant to be about having fun not tailoring a whole weekend to your babies needs .