To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

I was in Paris a few weeks ago with DH and our baby. It was bloody hard work. Pavements not big enough for buggy, people pushing past rudely, the metro an absolute nightmare with a buggy. Found it very stressful and I had DH with me

A mobile baby will be much harder than a 5 month old!

Presumably the idea was that she'd be more comfortable leaving the baby behind with its dad in six months' time.

Is baby only 10 weeks or so now? With you saying Oct/Nov? By 5 months, you might feel very different about taking him with you. But if it were me, and I absolutely wanted to go and friends were happy, I’d stick to baby sling/carrier mostly when there, and take a light weight and easy to fold buggy for eating out etc. Few changes of clothes as you could buy emergency outfit there if needed. And of course breastfeeding pump etc. A few small rattles/toys etc and baby will be happy enough, whenever they are. If you don’t use some of the stuff, you don’t use it. And can always buy anything you miss there. Have fun!

I took my boys on a flight to Australia when my youngest was just 12 months and absolutely was dreading it! But he did fine and was happy enough. We usually always build things up in our heads to be worse than they are.

I have to agree although my friends would have been happy to have baby tag along I wouldn’t go it will be stressful and likely not what you’re hoping it will be. However in terms of tips if you can BF without major problems and baby latches well then I would focus on that and save yourself the need to pump and take bottles etc (obviously unavoidable if EBM is better accepted by bub or you have other reasons). The french in general are really pro BF so don’t get yourself too worked up about that just try relax and feed baby when you need to. Take a good sling and even get a friend to practice wearing it so you can take turns as taking a pram on the metro will be a nightmare! As for packing light just remember worst case if you need something just buy it! Try pack the touristy things and shopping for babies usual sleep times and save sitting to eat and enjoy the scenery for when baby can be sat on a lap and enjoying it with you. Overall yes it will change the dynamic but if you have good supportive friends you’ll have a lovely time. Do make sure you suggest a night where you stay behind and they can enjoy some adult only time even if they don’t accept it’s the thought that counts! You’re not mad and I totally get the not leaving baby yet but not wanting to miss out either!

I’d say not, to be honest.
Years ago a colleague on mat leave brought her baby to the Christmas do as she was breastfeeding. Properly altered the dynamic of the evening. If she’d have let us know what she was planning, we would have organised a much more accommodating evening.

NRTFT, but YABU, it is 2 days, why on earth can't you leave baby with dad for 2 days?

If you do it take a sling not a buggy.
But I’d suggest a relaxing break rather than a city break if your friends would be up for that

I can't believe some of these responses! OP is thinking of going for a quiet weekend, with understanding friends, to somewhere she has lived before!! Which also happens to be a major capital city in a neighbouring country just a train ride away! She's not suggesting flying solo to the Australian outback for a long weekend, or bringing her baby on someone else's hen do.

Crikey. Life does not stop just because you have a baby and if you eschew fun activities - even the reasonable, manageable ones - for fear of it being difficult, you will be bored to tears by the end of your mat leave. Go now while your baby is still immobile and breastfeeding OP. I am sure it will be great and even if at moments it is not, nothing ventured nothing gained.

If I was off on a girls weekend in Paris and my kids are at home, I would be seriously annoyed if a baby turned up - even if I did say its fine. It will affect the weekend no matter what they say or how you think it will be.
Stay at home or leave the baby with dh.

We took my my 4 month old granddaughter on a shopping trip to New York last December, went really well and she was a hit everywhere we went. Buggy came in really handy for shopping 😂

Girls weekend with a baby. O wont your girlfriends be thrilled. Grow a set and leave baby home and go drink wine and be you for a few days.

Depends what your baby is like. EBF DS, basically couldn’t go anywhere for long as he was such an incredibly high needs, demanding, non sleeping from a newborn baby. Hated the sling then too. At 5 months?! Never! EBF DD at 5 months? Stick her in a sling, she was good to go. Feed literally on tap then slept. Co slept too, very easy. Paris would have been glorious. But, it would truly have been the 7th circle of hell with DS. For everybody.

Factor in potential teething at that stage too. Only you know.

I took my 5 week old on a Paris trip. It was a family holiday rather than a girls weekend though. Don't bother with a buggy, take a sling. Baby small enough to fit around what you're doing.... unless you're going clubbing!!

I think bringing a five month old is perfectly fine if your friends are up for it. With a baby over six months I would hesitate, but at five your baby is not yet mobile and probably very happy to chill in his stroller while you wander around Paris. Leaving him behind is not an option if you are breastfeeding him and it sounds like you have nice friends who are willing to have him along. I think at that age a baby can be pretty flexible and chill, as long as you are comfortable breastfeeding him wherever you happen to be.

My husband and I took two mini-breaks, one to Brussels and one to Russia, each with a (different) three month old baby. The babies were no trouble at all and we had a lovely time. I say, unless your baby is colicky, or a particularly bad sleeper, go for it!

Having a baby shouldn’t mean choosing between being sociable or staying home with baby. Our society is not very good at combining the two and often sadly results in mothers feeling that they are wrong to leave their baby and wrong for feeling that they don’t want to. Both are ok. It’s also ok and possible to go away with friends with baby and have a good time.
If your friends don’t have kids but are fairly flexible and accommodating then it should be fine. I would maybe consider a separate bedroom for you and baby so you aren’t stressed about waking your friends.
If you are hoping to be bf without ebm then that would be so convenient and you could work on doing that while baby was in a sling for even more handiness. There are lot of good bf support organisations such as LLL (La Leche League) which could work with you to help you do what you want to with bf and good luck with that.
It is totally doable and that’s speaking as someone with four kids who doesn’t impose on others at all. You just make some plans for the day with a few options, take the day as it comes, have a wander with baby away from your friends if needs be and everyone can relax and be happy. You know your friends so can judge if they would prefer to go alone this year or prefer to go and work with whatever baby brings. Having a baby doesn’t mean you have to stop doing things like this. Trust your gut and if you go, have a great time, if not, there’s always another time. 🙂

OP - just cancel the cheque!

Everybody else - RTFT before posting, please. After 600+ messages there's a fair chance that your point will not only have been made already (at least once), the OP has probably responded to it as well, so it'll save you looking like an arse.

@Bwekfusth
Because some mothers actually like to be with their babies and bf is important.Sheesh....

OP I wrote a big long message about how you could all go somewhere without flying for two nights away but I think you've had all the suggestions so I'd say look up a fb group for travelling with babies. I looked at a few for going on hols with the kids few years and they're great for things y o u wouldn't have thought of

@Mymomsbetterthanyomom it's 2 days. And it's a girls trip where presumably, babies aren't really invited, it's not about not liking being with your baby. 'Sheesh' the baby is 5 months not 5 days. She can express or god forbid, the father can give formula.

Is your DH able (competent enough in the ways of the baby, and/or, willing etc) to look after your baby for two nights? If so leave the baby behind. It will be good for you to get out and it will help with the bonding with DH & DC.

Our son is 15 months old in a week and my wife still finds it hard to go out for more than a night so i understand but i do push her to do these things (even offered to get her a Spa Weekend with her twin and still havent sold that...)

The dad is willing and able - he has suggested this himself earlier in the thread. But OP would miss the baby. I guess it doesn't matter if the dad would also miss the baby.

You need to stay at home, why ruin everyone elses weekend ?

I wouldn't take a baby tbh, even if friends say ok the baby will dominate everything.

@winniestone37 exactly. "Sorry girls I know we are all here to have a good time but could we keep it down as I'm trying to get the baby to sleep"

No.

Bwekfusth, inuk2004, Lowlandlucky and winniestone37 should she also cancel the cheque?

Perhaps you could try reading the thread- or at least the OP's posts, you're just making yourselves look silly IMO.