To take a 5 month old on a girls' weekend to Paris

[Patapouf]

Has anyone done this and has tips to make it less stressful? I know the baby will get nothing out of it but I am not ready to leave him at home with DH for 2 nights just yet and I'm desperate to make the most of mat leave.

Travelling by Eurostar, probably stay in an Airbnb. Planning a bit of sightseeing but mainly mooching about, sitting in cafés and stocking up on skincare and food or maybe not having seen the value of the pound

Friends will be hands on and help as much as they can but I'm very anxious that it will be disastrous. Baby is BF (not going well), but mostly EBM so worrying about the logistics of expressing or BF out and about. I also can't imagine trying to manoeuvre a pram on the narrow pavements. I know babies live in Paris, I did too once, but I'm a worrier.

Can I make this work? How can I pack light?

I suppose my AIBU should really be how can I be less nervous about travelling with a baby?

When you first had your baby you had to learn to manage her, why not allow your husband the same privilege? So often husbands are denigrated here for being 'useless' yet sre kept out of the loop by the mother and her mother.
As far as feeding is concerned you either accept that choosing to have a baby occasionally is inconvenient and you have to miss your girs weekds away or you make arrangements for her feeding. To inflict her on your friends would be selfish, to expect them to help with her is amazingly entitled.

It sounds as though the baby is about 3 months at the moment as the trip is a little way off.

Even if the friends are genuinely happy with a baby tagging along, they (and the OP) don’t really know what they’re letting themselves in for, because babies change a lot between 3-5 months.

There might be sleep regression. The baby will certainly be awake more, and More vocal.

At 3 months, my ds would have happily slept in a sling while I browsed a gallery or had lunch in a cafe. By 5 months he was beginning to do commando style attempts at crawling and would have been agitating to be out of a sling, not happy at all to lie in a pram and probably quite noisy about it.

You definitely, definitely will miss him. But missing him isn't the end of the world. It will be ok.

I think you have amazing friends too- maybe take them up on the ' baby included' offer to a trip closer to home at another time?

How would you feel if he severely limited what you could do. Your friends ( being lovely) don't want to leave you alone, but possibly you can't mooch in a cafe with a tired cry-y baby..... ?
You'll feel bad, they'll feel bad.....

OP i think it's fine, only in the uk does taking a baby somewhere present such a challenge. Mine were born abroad and babies and children just came everywhere, they aren't seen as such an inconvenience. Make the most of db being immobile and portable. It will become a whole lot harder during the toddling/tantruming stage

The beauty of this age is that you don't have to conform to routines, at least I didn't we just went with the flow.

I've travelled extensively with both dc from newborn. Take a sling as well as a buggy and be prepared to chill along with ds if friends want to do something non child friendly, if he gets fed up with shopping take him for a stroll and arrange to meet up at a later time/place. As long as you are prepared to do this then can't see a problem

"the pace of the weekend will be set by baby - his feeds, lunch, dinner, naps etc will need to be factored in before site seeing etc."

OP you know your baby and if he's the type to go with the flow. But subsequent children don't get that luxury, they have to fit in around school pick ups etc.

I was going to say you're BU to take your DS on a girls trip. However, reading your posts, it seems your friends are probably being genuine and not just being polite. If they're good friends, you trust them to help you and they are reassuring you, I would go for it. I don't have kids and I would be upset if a friend wanted to bring their DC on a girls trip, but in this situation I think you will all enjoy yourselves.

OP if I were you to ease the traveling I would take a babyzen yoyo pram as you can fold it up for overhead locker on plane or train and in restaurants. They're quite narrow and lightweight so easy to use on the go. I think they're actually a French design so perfect for you. Take a travel cot (or request one in the accommodation).

We travelled to Zanzibar when our Dd was 4 months and it was fine. That said she was bottle fed which did make it easier as me and her dad could switch to help us eat meals if she was fussy. And I travelled with DH so it was easier as she was obvs his responsibility also.

Being honest I don't think it's a great idea to take your baby on a girls trip. Your friends won't realize what they're signing up to and you're just going to be anxious about how the baby will behave which will impact the trip. Either leave with dad or bow out this time. (Or go and don't have a great time).

Not read everything but heads up, sooooo many babies become much much more difficult at the 4 month mark....

All the posters saying 'just leave the baby'....You can't just leave a 5 month old BF baby for two days without suffering from engorgement which could lead to mastitis and at the very worst, going completely cold turkey from breastfeeding in this way can actually trigger post-partum depression or even psychosis! The op would have to express every 3/4 hours while she was away to maintain her milk supply and prevent blocked ducts.

OP: take the baby with you, your friends sound relaxed and not like they want to be out partying each night. As long as they are prepared to have to fit plans around baby it will be fine. Like you said, it will perhaps be something you have to 'get through' rather than really relax during, but I think it will be a good experience for you, your friends and baby. Once you've done something like this once, the next time will be even more enjoyable. Baby will be fine with mum and following rough routine. Personally, I think babies thrive on holiday and really benefit from the new experiences.

If you're going on holiday with DH a couple of times beforehand you will be fairly experienced at travelling with your baby by then but my advice would be:

• Definitely book an air Bnb rather than a hotel
• Pack as lightly as possible, book an air Bnb with a cot/travel cot (just a word of warning also- there weren't many air bnbs that accepted babies and children when we were looking for holidays in France so do double check this before you book. There should be something that says 'suitable for babies and children' in the details).
• Book your outgoing and return flight at a good time for baby (we found the morning after the very first nap but before lunch was better at this age)
• BF baby on takeoff and landing (can stop ears popping and calm)
• Don't forget calpol and teething granules (our 5 month old started teething when we were away!)
• If you do take a buggy take a cheap, lightweight travel buggy and a sling/carrier
• Follow your routine as closely as possible while you are away- perhaps prep your friends for this and plan out the two days beforehand so you're all on the same page. If baby is a nightmare at any point, perhaps agree that your friends can go off for a couple of hours while you regroup
• Work out the sights you want to see beforehand and make a note of the location of nearby cafes for changes and feeds
• Make a note of nearest hospitals/a&e in case of emergency- have some basic vocabulary written down??

Have fun! :)

OP- you say yourself: ‘ I have no idea what a typical day will look like by October/November.’

That’s the key issue. Worst case scenario would be sleep regression, which will mean broken nights for you, or worse, for you and your friends/ nearby guests.

Without a doubt your child will be sleeping less during the day time, and will be more vocal. As I said upthread, one of my dc was well on his way to getting mobile by 5 months and would not have slept happily in a sling while I wandered around galleries- he’s have wanted to be out of the sling and more stimulation.

OP your point about babies being easier than toddlers but not easy is literally what I came on to say. Yes you'll survive the trip, but I doubt you'll truly enjoy it.

And if it's in a couple of months will he be 7 months then? As I found that trickier, just starting to roll and crawl so they aren't as happy being strapped in the pram/sling all day

For those talking about breastfeeding, the OP is expressing mainly as she said in her post (EBM is expressed breast milk) so she'd have to do that at home or abroad. It also means that her DS will take a bottle (presuming he isn't being cup fed still) so there isn't such an issue.

That said, around three months is when my DD started being able to feed properly at the breast and three months later I don't have to pump any more so your situation might have changed in that respect by then too. However thanks to three months of expressing she feeds from bottle with my DP happily and I have a big freezer stash for when I'm away.

Not read the full thread, but I wanted to suggest a sling/carrier - by 5 months I traveled light and only carried a spare nappy on me. Get used to using it now and you'll be very comfortable by the time of your holiday. Also use an app to look up where ask the baby changing/friendly areas are in advance. And I'd plan one or two things at most during the day and be prepared to duck out of necessary. I say go for it if your friends are supportive!

I'd think about it twice. I've been on the Eurostar and in Paris many times with young children, including babies about that age, and whilst it was doable it was hassle rather than fun. That's based on my kids though, who at five months tended to get bored in a sling and start trying to get out and crying - long leisurely coffees weren't possible with mine at that age, but yours may well be different. Also, I was mostly travelling alone (security at the Eurostar was always a nightmare as the buggy had to be folded up).

If you do decide to go, I'd advise a sling rather than a buggy- Paris isn't that buggy friendly, quite a few pavements are too narrow and most metro stations don't have lifts, and be careful about your AirBNB as a lot of Parisian appartments aren't ideal for babies.

Depends on the baby. It sounds like yours is still quite young and possibly in the easier phase. Mine was a dream at 3r months. She’d have been a doddle to take away. I could have shoved her in the sling and she’d be happy, sleep when she’s tired. Now at 5 months, she’s much fussier about where she naps (needs a darkened room ideally) and still has 4 naps a day. It is very restrictive and I’d be quite sad to be restricted in Paris as we’d have to do at least two hotel naps to avoid total meltdown. She is also very crabby with teething and needs much more entertaining.

God no why?

I’d be pissed off if you were my friend - I agree with other posters, your friends are being polite or insane

I too wondered if you were Carol & Dick’s daughter - entitled much!!

And I’ve travelled with mine all over the world from 4 months old! I’ve also left them every year for a week at time. They were fine. I returned refreshed!

Can I just add if you’re going to bed by 9pm, no way are you and your friends getting the most out of a weekend in Paris

I found this age was the easiest for things like city breaks.
Make sure baby is used to being in a good supportive sling or wrap. One that faces you, as DC will want to sleep and switch off from the sights most of the time.

I have two kids myself but I'd be SO disappointed if someone was bringing a baby to a 'girls' weekend. I don't get much/any time away from my children and it would be a real blow. Obviously I'd say it was ok, because really there's worse things that could happen.

Why don't you take DH to help

I would leave the expressing stuff at home and just exclusively breast feed for the few days.
Sling and buggy.
My DD slept in a padded drawer in similar travelling circumstances.As long as your baby is near you all will be well.
The more relaxed you are the more your baby and friends will be.
Have a lovely time.

I think taking DH really would change the dynamic 😂

@MyOtherProfile

Maybe dad can start lactating

It might not be impossible but it would be a right hassle. It might be more work than just bringing the baby with her.

Hilarious all these posters who are insisting they know that the baby will sleep/ happily be in a sling etc

None of us know! Neither does the OP! A baby that sleeps happily in a sling at 3 months might well be resistant at 5. Or at the very least be far more inquisitive and agitating to be more ‘free.’

Just seems a pointless risk to take when the OP could leave the child with its other parent who can follow the child’s lead.

you've still got a while until you go,if going in oct/nov so maybe book yourself and ds , and if you feel nearer the time that you feel more comfortable leaving him at home you can? he must still be very little just now if he'll be 5 months in Oct/Nov , that'll be why you can't imagine leaving him for 2 nights at the moment (by then you might be dying for 2 nights uninterrupted sleep)