The world is gone mad

[Beansinahobbithole]

I've just seen the weirdest post on my Facebook, of people at a funeral, holding up pictures of the dead, posing and smiling with it. What the actual fuck. AIBU in thinking this is fucked up? Or is this the new norm?

And just to add, these are people I know to see, who are family members of the person who's funeral it is. They are not just distant realities or friends, not that it makes that much of a difference.

What’s wrong with it?

Why do you think it’s your place to have any say in how they’re grieving for their relative?

I didn’t do this at my mother’s funeral but I can see I might have if I’d thought to do so and been passing the photo of her in a frame, kinda a last picture of us together at an important occasion. There are photos of me, my friends etc. smiling in a group at the wake as it felt weird to just stand frowning or being neutral when we were having a nice time. And yes, I had a nice time as it hadn’t sunk in yet and I was hyper seeing so many people I loved in one place and pleased it had gone well.

YABU. I genuinely don’t see what has upset you so much about this to declare the ‘world is gone mad’, maybe check the news now and then if you genuinely want to see examples of the awful stuff going on in the world atm, instead of bitching about how grieving relatives are behaving.

It hasn't 'upset' me, I just think it's disrespectful and I certainly wouldn't do it.

Each to their own I suppose.

So it close family doing it?

Yabu.

My uncle died last year. Typical uncle nobhead. Heart of pure gold. But loud, always had a joke or wild story to tell. So many people knew him locally people had to stand outside the church. The mayor of leeds attended. He had been on TV quite a bit before he died. I adored him. He also made me cringe a bit as well. Always the centre of attention. But everyone loved him.

He wife, son and daughter had a cardboard cut out of at the gathering afterwards. I was a bit shocked. But honestly it suited my uncle down to the ground. In his last days, he made his wife promise his funeral would be a party to remember.

Everyone still feels his loss. Theres a huge hole in family and amongst his friends.

I dont really care of someone who didnt even go to the funeral found it distasteful. If their opinion was that important. They would have been there on the day.

I don't know, funerals have changed and become more about celebrating a life which I like, they are really for the people left behind so I guess whatever helps them

I remember when my Dd died. Family members the same age posted pictures of them at the graveside.
I was fucking furious, reading the stupid comments ( fly high with the angels shit)
It's nearly 4yrs now and every anniversary they always post.
I hate Facebook.

What’s wrong with photos with the dead? Victorians did it all the time and they had a much more healthy attitude towards death than we do. We Pretend it doesn’t exist until it happens in our own family and then wonder why we can’t cope. It’s a part of life, we should be far more open about it.

It's not so much about taking photos that I have a problem with, it's more posting them to social media to gain likes. If it was my family member I'd be fucking disgusted and I'd be telling them to take it down.

I understand people grieve differently, but I don't remember at either of my parents funerals, thinking 'this would be a great opportunity to do some poses and take pictures for facebook'. It's weird.

I went to a funeral recently where the family were determined it would be a celebration of the person's life. The forced jollity was uncomfortable. I could understand why they wanted it that way but it felt awkward.

I don't think it's fucked up. I have been to many funerals over the years where pictures of the deceased have been on display- it's not a new thing.

bouncingraindrops

Pictures of the deceased being on display is not what I'm talking about.

The world has gone mad.......because people have photos of the deceased at the funeral ? I thought you were going to say it's gone mad because of mass shootings at shopping centres, or because Korea is sending missiles up like it's Guy Fawkes night , or because people are ignoring climate change.

Get a grip - what people do at funerals has always puzzled those who do something different . How about you grieve in your way, and let others grieve in their way.

Modern day life now. Everything gets put on SM for all sorts of different reasons. Bit odd holding up the photo I guess but I’m sure they have their reasons.

I had someone post a photo of their young child kissing a dead relative in their coffin along with photos of the deceased, again in their coffin. Bloody awful.

@ParkheadParadise, I can't begin to imagine how difficult that is for you .

In my family there are pictures from funerals and also of the deceased in the casket usually as family line up to say goodbye before its closed. They're just in albums.

But never in a million years would they be posted on social media, it's seen as extremely disrespectful.
IMO what's the point ? Are you trying to get likes for that ?

I know people grieve differently and some people want their send off to be a celebration but I don't quite understand some things...

Pictures of the deceased being on display is not what I'm talking about.

So what are you talking about? You said something about pictures?

Parkhead

I'm so sorry. I HATE the 'fly high' FB posts with a passion too.
My rage is directed at my DF's grave neighbour's family who have created a grave stone lit up like Blackpool illuminations. The trinkets and tacky crap they cover it with encroach on both sides.

Oh wait, do you mean pictures of the person dead?

needsome

Exactly, people have traditions and if they take pictures that's one thing, but posting them on social media is bloody disrespectful and I would never be ok with someone doing it in my family.

YANBU my ex did a photo shoot at our sons grave with his girlfriend and her kids who have never met him what with him being dead. She then got a whole load of "so sorry hun" comments

The "love you dead child's name" comment just about tipped me over the edge (it's four years on but I still spend his anniversary month a mess mentally) my DH had to hide the car keys as the state I was in I could of genuinely tracked and swung for the disrespectful cow.

bouncingraindrops

Try reading the post, it's all right there Infront of you.

But its not tour family. It's their family.

You dont get feel disrespected on their behalf.

I hate this too. I also hate people posting graveside photos, it’s tacky. I’ve seen selfies with the casket in the background before...

Pandamodium that's awful, I'm so sorry that happened, my reaction would be much the same as yours.

Wishihad

Oh so it's ok to disrespect people now as long as your related to them? Weird.