The world is gone mad

[Beansinahobbithole]

I've just seen the weirdest post on my Facebook, of people at a funeral, holding up pictures of the dead, posing and smiling with it. What the actual fuck. AIBU in thinking this is fucked up? Or is this the new norm?

I don't like it either it just feels unnecessary and attention seeking. Tbh though, I feel like that about most things people post on social media. This takes it too another level though.

Agree op. It's pretty tasteless to put things like this on fb for likes. I recently saw someone Snapchat their way through a funeral. Why would it occur to anyone to get their phone out and start taking pictures at such a serious and somber occasion?

I buried my mum on Tuesday. I love photographs but would have been horrified to see what you describe. However, my young neice did go back to the cemetery after we had all left and posed with the flowers at the grave and posted them on Instagram. I didn't like it but it was her way of grieving. Everyone is different.

Oh so it's ok to disrespect people now as long as your related to them? Weird.

You didnr even fo to the funeral. Tou cant have known the person that well.

I am pretty sure the dead person doesnt care. Theres also a good chance that the family know them better than you.

You dont know of they would have found it disrespectful or not.

For all you know they could be very happy with it.

Funerals are for the dead, imo. They dont care. They are for the family to say goodbye and mark the passing. How they do that is up to them.

Wishihad

Or in this case, for the family to use the death as a way to gain attention and likes on social media. You have your opinion, I have mine.

I can't understand that way of thinking, where you would want to use a person's death like that.

Try reading the post, it's all right there Infront of you.

Rude much. I was only asking.

No need to get all shitty and defensive. I obviously don't understand or I wouldn't have asked.

Christ on a bike, let people do their thing

Not new - & the Victorians had an even more morbid take on the art of post-mortem photography:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36389581

Not sure about pictures at a wake. At a grave shows a lack of sensitivity and reverence. Probably because they are young and are batting off their own mortality with a photo opportunity distraction. If they actually felt the horror of where they are (next to a grave where a once living person is being left outside in the elements to rot never to be seen again) they wouldn't do it.

Personally the last burial I wemt to stayed with me too long.

if you think that weird look up Darlie Routier and the silly string video at her 2 sons funerals (shes is now on death row for their murder)

someone i know brought the wreath home that she paid for from her dads funeral and hung it on her front door for 2 weeks...it was a bit odd but each to their own

@bouncingraindrops I agree, I couldn't decide whether it's photos of the deceased alive, or in the coffin with people posing for photos beside the person. I'll have to read it again I think.

Or in this case, for the family to use the death as a way to gain attention and likes on social media. You have your opinion, I have mine.

So you feel its disrespectful, because they may have only done it for Facebook likes?

My cousin announced her fathers death on Facebook. It got thousands of likes (well the heart one) and comments.

She didnt do it for likes. She did it and dragged her dads Facebook account in to reach everyone. She also posted the day of the funeral.

Ita up to her how she grieves.

Saying you fell disrespect in behalf of a person you dont know that well, because maybe they just did it for likes, is unreasonable.

You clearly dont like that answer though.

But it's THEIR Facebook page, they can post what they like. I can imagine they have many family members on THEIR Facebook page so if it acceptable to THEIR family they can post what they bloody well like.

If you don't like it you don't like it, but it's up to THEM what they post. You don't have to "like" it do you? No.

Wishihad

I never said I feel disrespected. I said it IS disrespectful. Theres a difference.

I never said I feel disrespected. I said it IS disrespectful. Theres a difference.

That's not your judgement to make.

It's for you to decide if someone else, who is dead, is being disrespected.

You feel its disrespectful. You cant say it is, because you have no clue.

It's only disrespectful, if the dead person feels it is.

Again, you clearly dont like being told yabu. Which makes me wonder why you asked in the first place.

Sounds more like you just wanted a thread that said how awful these people are and have everyone agree.

Behind every stupid post is a family heartbroken and grieving.
My dd's death was talked about on a public FB page. Everyone seemed to know what had happened to her, and if they didn't they made it up. Half of them didn't know her personally.
People should think before they post comments and photos.

I can sympathise when my little boy died last year my mother in law put a photo of his last moments on Facebook tries to start a prayer ring etc I was furious it made me feel sick still does

Unless it was a last request from the deceased, YANBU. It’s weird. Because taking photos isn’t a thing to do at funerals from what I know, never mind putting weird ones like that on social media.

Caxx
That's awful. Why would she do that.

Well it’s only one example you have, so not exactly a new trend sweeping the world. One family isn’t quite the world gone mad, hardly an epidemic.

And others have said it’s not really your business how other people grieve and deal with death. I wouldn’t put pictures on fb, and neither would many I expect, but if that’s how this family choose to grieve that’s their business.

YANBU for feeling it’s disrespectful and not doing the same for your own lost family members, but YABU to judge others for doing what helps them.

And it’s nothing new really, we have done all sorts of things over the centuries - photographs and portraits of the dead, death masks, displaying bodies publicly etc. This is a version of that in the modern age. But it’s still not a widespread thing, people aren’t exactly putting snapchat filters over corpses so I think declaring the world gone mad over a single incident is a bit dramatic.

Caxx

That's horrible, that's the thing aswell, I think most parents would be annoyed and upset by things like this. Younger family might think it's acceptable, but IMO, they are not the only people grieving for that person.

I'm so sorry about your son x

Beansinahobbithole I agree with you. I think some people have got so used to posting every aspect of their life on social media that this includes funerals.

I don’t buy this notion that “it’s up to people how they grieve.” Social media didn’t exist until ten years ago, so are we saying that until then people didn’t have the ability to grieve in the way they wanted to? Bullshit.

Posting pictures of people next to a dead body has nothing to do with grief and everything to do with exhibitionism.

so much of sm is attention seeking shite, and i only know that from what i hear and read on here, never had fb, twitter or even taken a selfie.
everyone to their own but even so..