The world is gone mad

[Beansinahobbithole]

I've just seen the weirdest post on my Facebook, of people at a funeral, holding up pictures of the dead, posing and smiling with it. What the actual fuck. AIBU in thinking this is fucked up? Or is this the new norm?

Aw ok, that's too bad

PapaShango

Exactly, and I think the majority of people with any ounce of respect would agree. Taking photos is one thing, posting them on social media is a whole different ball game and there really is no other reason other than likes and attention.

She wasn’t rude. It was written quite clearly in the op. You just didn’t get it.

Except it wasn't clear, several people didn't understand.

I posted assuming that the OP meant pictures of the person when they were alive on display and was told that wasn't what OP meant. Several people assumed OP meant dead. I asked OP what she did mean and I was told **

Try reading the post, it's all right there Infront of you.

Which is fucking rude considering I didn't say or do anything g wrong other than not understand. If someone doesn't understand, explaining it is the way forward. Not to tell them to 'try reading the post'

It absolutely was rude and unnecessary.

Oh and for the record, I didn't and I don't disagree. I just feel that was out of order. Sorry for not being bright enough to get it.

YANBU at all OP. I find taking photos at a funeral odd and unnecessary anyway, but posting them on social media is mawkish and bizarre IMO. I've put IMO, because it is purely my opinion, obviously.

YABU OP, different strokes for different folks and all that.

When my aunt died some cousins posted pictures on FB. For the past 9 years we gather on FB to commemorate her life. We are all over the world, it's good to reconnect and share our stories about her.

posting them on social media is a whole different ball game and there really is no other reason other than likes and attention.
Just because you think that, doesnt make it true.

your are misled if you think posting photos is only about gaining likes. its not.

Well what other reason is there for posing and getting pictures for social media? To remember the day? Print them. To share with relatives? Were they not there? Ever heard of a group chat? They are pretty handy for sharing stuff.

I mean since when is a funeral all about photo opportunities and posing? Isn't it supposed to be a celebration of life and a goodbye to your loved one? Hmm, great way to say goodbye. Benefit something from them one last time.

Benefit something from them one last time.

We benefit every day from having had our aunt in our lives. We also benefit from coming together once a year to remember her. I think she would be happy about that.

@DioneTheDiabolist I guess it comes down to individual families doesn't it. My mum would be horrified by something like this on social media. Privately, yes, but def not on social media. She was quite a quiet person anyway and would have found it very inappropriate.

bouncingraindrops it isn’t just you, I’ve only been able to understand the point of the OP through reading replies and further posts. It wasn’t well explained and OP was rude to you when you asked for clarification. I don’t think we’re thick at all.

It's written very clearly, it literally says 'holding up pictures of the dead, posing and smiling', what part of that is so confusing for you?

Not enough detail, no proper explanation about what has upset you. You’ve us half a picture of your grievance - funeral, pictures, smiles - what about them? If you don’t see what’s wrong with your OP, there’s no point me trying to explain it to you.

Just don’t be rude to people who don’t understand what you’re saying. I’ll bet you don’t talk to people like that in real life.

Short and to the point, why would I drag something out that can be explained simply? I'm not upset, thanks for the concern though.

Ok sweetie.

OP, I'm assuming you mean people taking photos at a funeral and posting them on social media, is that correct? That's what I've responded to anyway.

I saw some photos recently (on social media) of people at a wake giving the 'thumbs up' at the bar, followed by lots of 'can't believe you're gone' comments from those tagged in the photo. I find that awful.

The Victorians posed with their relative actually dead as it was often the only chance they had for a picture, photography was expensive and it wasn't much of a thing to photograph mundane events like we would today.

I've seen many of these pictures where the deceased is "posing" with other family members as if alive.
It's often their only photo of their loved one.
Some are a bit creepy, all of them very sad.

It's a bit different to compare the Victorian death photos to modern day funerals where a framed picture is passed around of the deceased and posed with. I haven't seen this myself but I don't think it would ignite a deep opinion from me if I had.

It's written very clearly, it literally says 'holding up pictures of the dead, posing and smiling', what part of that is so confusing for you?

And you are not rude?

Maybe you should read your posts again. You are actually horrible.

A FB friend posted a pic of her mum on her deathbed.

OVienna

Oh iv seen that aswell loads of times, very strange. Only thing is, hopefully, the person who's picture it is knows that it's up.

A relative of mine posted daily updates of a family member whilst she was dying....things she said which in my opinion were really personal, and hurtful to other family members. Then when she passed she put up constant photos of her and comments bigging up their relationship. Now we get annual "heavenly birthday" posts, talking through facebook, to the dead person as if she is still alive, as if fb is some sort of medium. This deveased family member hated social media and wasn't even on fb She would be horrified if she knew about all the postings.

I'm with you, beansinahobbithole. It's fucking weird. Wanna take photos of your dead relative? Absolutely, do it if it helps you. But upload it to Facebook? Absolutely not. I do not understand for what reason or gratification anyone would do this. Granny may be dead but over sharing is alive and well.

Im not a fan i think its oversharing but then that's all of sm for you. Every post on platforms like Instagram Twitter and Facebook is for a reaction of some kind. It's seeking attention, studies have been done to show it gives addictive highs. People can say 'oh i only have real friends or family there' but i don't buy many like that who all have it so locked down.

I would find it disrespectful for me or mine but I'd not assume a whole family thing like described was. If the whole family is all doing it, it may well have been the deceased request or want or suited to who they were. Some people are prolific and live life through social media so i don't doubt some would be happy with this sharing.

I have one such friend who has written a letter or wishes, something for will or insurance i think it was? It details filming and putting everything on fb for her followers as well as a load of other things. Do i think it's weird and shes very sm invested? Yes. Would we friends and family refuse? No. That would be disrespectful to her. We know her best.

The problem arises when it's done without family permission and one or two attention seekers people upload and upset those most upset by grief.

The world is changing. Sometimes im very uncomfortable with that. Might be all the Black Mirror i watch.