Heterosexuality is not a disease? Or aibu?

[theoriginalgin]

I have an acquaintance who has for many years identified as Queer. She's gradually become more and more militant about LGBT + rights in recent times and has started to make some quite offensive statements about heterosexuality and heterosexuals in general.

As a heterosexual person I generally hear these things and don't react because I don't feel that there's any response I can give that won't get me an ear bashing about "the patriarchy" and my "privilege".

However today she's bought home a cushion that she's posted a photo of on Instagram which says "heterosexuality is a disease". I strongly disagree with this and I find it truly offensive. I don't think any sexuality is a disease and I don't think that this is an ok thing to say. I think if a heterosexual person said that about homosexuality for example, they'd be called out for it and probably absolutely lambasted for being homophobic on social media. And yet nobody has said a word to her about this!

AIBU? And if not, any ideas for a witty response to get the point across?

@East7thst

Of course you can't be racist to whites, that would show everyone that every ethnicity and/or race has an element of racial bigotry towards others...And we can't have that now, can we? Imagine that, people thinking that others who are non white can hold racist views, imagine the outcry! No, nobody can be racist towards whites because of white power, white privilege, white flight, white clouds, white sugar etc etc...

Same with homosexuality, we can't have people thinking that some lesbian and gay people have any kind of prejudicial views towards heterosexuality, that could revoke their special minority status! No, evil white heterosexuals will always oppress innocent minorities and be privileged and oppressors forevermore. So I guess I'm going to at some point be moved from a two bedroom squalor with my four children to a 25 bedroom colonial mansion built by slaves and run by gay servants...because clearly that is what every white heterosexual lives in. I wonder if I still have to work three jobs. Wow how privileged am I!?!

Just avoid people like this. Life is a lot less annoying.

It’s very obviously a joke.

I wish people would RTFT before posting things which we have already been told are not the case.

OPs friend is vegan.

OPs friend is vegan.

I thought she was gay. Where does it say she's vegan too?

Wow how privileged am I!?!

Privilege doesn't work that way. Nobody's saying you live a life of luxury.

It's just that if you are white and straight you will never face discrimination or oppression because of your race or sexuality.

It doesn't mean you don't face oppression in other ways (economic / gender / disability etc).

This is why intersectional feminism is so important. You obviously are not top of the privilege pile despite being white and straight. So we have to stand together. You have to stand up for queer people and people of colour, and in turn those people should stand up for you as someone who lacks economic privilege.

It shouldn't ever be a race to the bottom.

I'd cut her out. Block her number and hide her FB posts.

She sounds idiotic.

Have you not seen 'the man who has it all on facebook' it takes things that are usually said or used to be said about women and says them about men. It pokes fun at them and points out the ludicrousness of them. This is the same thing, when you take something that has been said (and probably still is said in some places) about homosexuality and say it about hetrosexuality all of a suddent it becomes offensive and ludicrous. There are still people out there peddling 'conversion therapy' techniques for gay people, if you want to be offended about something be offended about the fact that gay marriage isnt legal everywhere, or that in some countries you can still be arrested for being gay.

I'd drop her like a hot potato. YANBU!!!

Sounds like a mad cow really

It’s obviously meant to deconstruct the idea of sexuality as a psychiatric condition. I’m straight (so no personal experience), but LGBTQ people have been told for a very long time that their sexuality is a disease, they just need antidepressants, counselling, a good shag, to be fixed, it was in the DSM until quite recently. Of course, they don’t need any of that. They are fine how they are.

But sometimes it’s hard to hear how biting and cruel those words are until they get flipped around and applied to what most people think is ‘normal’. The way you’ve reacted is exactly what’s mean to happen and that’s her point. You should feel just as turned inside out about those attitudes towards her (including any you hold yourself, whether you realise you feel that way or not).

She's entitled to her anger, just as you're entitled to not have to listen to it.

Hopefully it's just a joke, otherwise she's screaming for attention.

How refreshing it is to see "militant" vegans being bashed again for their views.

Compassion for animals... so bloody annoying isn't it!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

The cushion is reversing a sentiment that has been commonly said/thought about gay people to the point that they were given ‘treatment’. You don’t like it being said about straight people? That exactly how she wants you to feel. She is making a point but I think you are missing it,

If you don’t like her posts and she is just someone you know and not someone you class as a friend, why are you even friends on facebook?

In woke-cult theology...

Yes it is a sentiment that has been said historically, but not by everyone, ever. I'm with the op, just because some people said it historically about a group of people, doesn't make it right to say it about other people. If it was insulting to homosexuals etc, then it's equally insulting to heterosexuals.

There is a difference between being Vegan - my daughter is, and it's great.

And being a militant Vegan - who accosts passers by in the street with horrific photos, including intimidating school children on their way to or from school. (Now I can't be sure that the latter is what the OP meant.)

If it was insulting to homosexuals etc, then it's equally insulting to heterosexuals.

But it's not equally as likely to cause actual harm to heterosexuals, is it, because when was the last time heterosexuals were lobotomised or given electric shocks or castrated or imprisoned or given conversion therapy as a result of their sexuality?

Why is that hard to understand? I don't get it.

Tell her she sounds jealous that heterosexuals can live without hassle and abuse but women have to still deal with all the shit so why is she adding to it. Tell her if she wants to attack a group, attack the crazies who think homosexuality is abhorrent and actively speak up against it instead of insulting everyone else. If she’s also militant vegan then it sounds like she got way too much time on her hands....

"when was the last time heterosexuals were lobotomised or given electric shocks or castrated or imprisoned or given conversion therapy as a result of their sexuality?"
But that's not the point is it? The point is, is the phrase on that cushion insulting. In my opinion, yes it is. As the op has said, two wrongs don't make a right. Because all those things happened historically, doesn't make it now ok to insult all heterosexuals.

I think if a heterosexual person said that about homosexuality for example, they'd be called out for it and probably absolutely lambasted for being homophobic on social media. And yet nobody has said a word to her about this!

You get that this is like saying “if a white person said this about the black person, they’d be called out for it”, right? Like those people who cry reverse racism.

It’s not the same. You know it’s not the same. Gay people, black people, other minorities have been persecuted by straight white people for centuries. I’d be fucking angry too. That anger won’t always be constructive, I understand that - isn’t it easy to understand that?

And yes, it absolutely is spinning a phrase used against the LGB community to show how ridiculous and offensive it is. The fact that you’re offended is sort of the point of it. This is a fraction of the offence that gay people have to endure, knowing how that feels may be a good thing.

Because all those things happened historically

Historically? Homophobia is not historical. It’s happening now.

All the things listed happened historically. No one said homophobia isn't happening now. Still doesn't make it ok to insult heterosexuals.