Heterosexuality is not a disease? Or aibu?

[theoriginalgin]

I have an acquaintance who has for many years identified as Queer. She's gradually become more and more militant about LGBT + rights in recent times and has started to make some quite offensive statements about heterosexuality and heterosexuals in general.

As a heterosexual person I generally hear these things and don't react because I don't feel that there's any response I can give that won't get me an ear bashing about "the patriarchy" and my "privilege".

However today she's bought home a cushion that she's posted a photo of on Instagram which says "heterosexuality is a disease". I strongly disagree with this and I find it truly offensive. I don't think any sexuality is a disease and I don't think that this is an ok thing to say. I think if a heterosexual person said that about homosexuality for example, they'd be called out for it and probably absolutely lambasted for being homophobic on social media. And yet nobody has said a word to her about this!

AIBU? And if not, any ideas for a witty response to get the point across?

Aquarianaura is right. Regardless of if she has extreme views, her cushion will never spark a mass oppression of straight people. Yet the other way round is considered harmful as until recently it was (and in some places, still is) a common ideology - that homosexuality is a disease. That is offensive and harmful because its likely to incite other straight people of similar mindsets to join in and put us back several decades.

I'm assuming most of us here are women. If a cushion said 'men belong in the kitchen', women would be 😂 whilst men would be overly-offended and saying HYPOCRIT... But it will never harm their position in society.

I don’t know your friend at all. It sounds as though she might be very annoying.

But...as to the cushion...I do not think that it is at all meant to suggest that heterosexuality is in fact actually a disease. I think it is meant for us to pause and be outraged, to think ‘how could sexuality be a disease’ and then reflect that not so long ago it was customary to think of homosexuality in that way (and in some places/some people still do).

So it may very well be that your friend is an annoying pain in the arse for any number of reasons. But this cushion, itself, is not in my view intended to be offensive or anything by way of ‘hate crime’. It is meant to be thought provoking.

Phone 101. It's a hate crime!

Photographic evidence of OP's friend committing a hate crime

@Vasya 😀

It was meant as a lighthearted joke.

@SkiingIsHeaven I know, I was riffing off of your joke

Just do not waste time on looking at this stuff.

File away under "Games People Play."

Unless you can enjoy laughing at the absurdity of cushion slogans!

Defriend, block, move on.

"That's nice dear"

Then avoid like the plague, which is actually a real disease 🙂

Honestly I think all of this 'I can say whatever I like about you because you're the oppressor' is woke bullshit.

People just shouldn't be dicks.

It's not okay for a BAME person to be a dick about white people. It's not okay for someone who is LGBT+ to be a dick about straight people.

If someone is a dick; they're a dick.

It's all very straightforward and irrespective of 'oppressor' or 'oppressed' a very simple rule: Just don't be a dick. 🤷🏻‍♀️

She is being a dick.

(...as an aside I think the cushion itself is supposed to be tongue in cheek. But combined with her other comments, etc = dick).

Cut her loose.

It's obviously a joke. It's a riff on what people might say about gay people. Just carry on about your day being a straight person in a hetronormative society and count your blessings this is the first time you've ever felt victimised for your sexuality. Maybe hold on to the feeling a little and consider that this is what gay people feel like all the fucking time. Think about those girls on the London bus.

I think the cushion has a point.

It's a joke...

Truly, it's heteronormativity that is the disease.
The fact that all a heterosexual has to be offended and hurt by is a pillow shows exactly why they have life easy in that regard. (I am also heterosexual by the way...so I'm joining you in that privilege, I just know that it's a privilege.)

@Vasya and @aquarianaura have it right. Words have offensive power because of the context behind them.

You're acting like people who demand straight pride parades.

Oh fgs. Give me strength.

Straight is the historical and current norm.

AIBU? And if not, any ideas for a witty response to get the point across?

I assume that she is using "heterosexuality" as an umbrella term to include heteronormativism, hetero privilege etc, rather than to refer to the attraction itself as an abstract concept.

In which case, best you can do is ask her to be clearer and not use it this way.

Straight is the historical and current norm.

By what measure? The fact that there are more heterosexual people than queer people? That doesn't make it 'the norm', unless your implication is that being queer is abnormal because there are fewer of us.

Let's just all keep laughing at each other.

JAPAB haha not sure you can put that many caveats on a PILLOW

It’s very obviously a joke.

The ridiculousness of saying that heterosexuality is a disease, is making a point about how ridiculous it is to say that homosexuality is a disease. Some people still believe the latter.

YABU and very silly.