to Ask your terrible advice from the 1990’s - early 2000s

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Aibu to ask you to cast your mind back and give the advice you would have in the late 90’s

Here’s mine...

Want to lose weight? Eat what you want during the week and take recreational drugs at the weekend, it’s like the 5:2

Have frizzy hair! Not to worry, some John Frieda, and iron, and a brown paper bag will sort it.

Worried your dp has been faffing you around and cheating? If he says @you were on a break” all is ok

Hold on. Has anybody mentioned the pink JANE NORMAN bags.

Young women with those carrier bags on the tube with a book (something by Sophie Kinsella) and a pair of shoes to change into because they were wearing trainers on their commute and it was frowned upon as some sort of betrayal of womanhood that you didn't want to teeter on 5 inch heels through the rush hour

Hyperglobal tee shirts that just your boobs changed colour, satin shirts and dresses with velvet jackets. My favorite was spraying "wings" at the sides of my hair and a weird quiffy bit at the front, cycling shorts and wonder bras 😍

I had a pair of the amazing 'foam' platform sandals from Red or Dead c.1996 - I saw them in Clothes Show magazine, got the details for the stockist from the back of the magazine, duly sent off a postal order for £16 (bargain!), plus p&p. So comfy! They were mainly turquoise with black, yellow and brown skinny lines on the sole, teamed with a tiny turquoise dress, I got stopped twice in Ibiza by fellow female Brits abroad, asking where my lush outfit was from 😁.
I had FCUK T-shirt which had four words written on the front, one word above the other but slightly staggered so the letters S H A G aligned vertically 😬

Oh; and the Global Hypercolour t-shirts... my then boyfriend and his mate bought a 48 pack box of KP Skips crisps because each packet had a token on it which you could collect and send off for a 'free' Global Hypercolour t-shirt. Blue/pink or green/yellow. I think they were £25 to buy each so this seemed a right bargain.
Never ate Skips since.

I had a pair of the amazing 'foam' platform sandals from Red or Dead c.1996
I had the same. I loved wearing them with my blue ling fine cord skirt, beige FCUK t shirt and my short hair clipped with a hundred small butterfly clips. I must have thought I looked cool as I pushed a new born DS1 in his pram!

I had trainers with rubber spikes on them, and a backpack to match.

I had trainers with rubber spikes on them, and a backpack to match
Oh I forgot about the back pack. Umbro nylon backpacks were all the rage.
Mine contained nappies and baby wipes!

I remember Atlantic 252!

Going to Bagleys with a mate around 96. We took a tab of acid each and spent the night in the foyer. We never ventured into the main club until we were leaving as we did not know of it existence!

My mate once woke up in a teepee outside Bagleys. Her boss rung me to see if I had heard from her.

Does anybody remember a club called Ombres which was north of Oxford Street? Total pick up joint but it was free on weekday nights for ladies!

I love this thread. I’m saving it and rereading it for the nostalgia. I’m remembering a lot of adverts and jingles...as I read certain brands and names, they’re automatically popping into my head.

Head-Blossom style hat/girl band cap/Kangol hat/beret. Frizzy or ironed under a brown paper bag hair. Maybe a wrapped hair braid to show you’ve been on holiday (did you even go abroad if you didn’t come back with one?). Sun In-given. Smell of cigarette smoke that would then be transferred to your pillow. Scrunchies. Butterfly clips.

Jewellery -as well as shag bands we all had clear tube bands that had glitter and a liquid in. Silver pendant on a black chord (dolphin or ying yang preferably), velvet choker or plastic neon rave dummy (even if you’ve never been to a rave) round your neck. Storm bubble, Baby G or pop swatch watches.

Clothes - see through, bright polyester, satin or plaid/cotton and tied around your waist shirts. Hyperglo tshirts to show where you sweat. Fluorescent tribal print tops. Cycling and Bermuda shorts, the brighter the better. NAFF NAFF and Spliffy. Jeans that trained into puddles. Shell suits. Cargo trousers. Very low rise hipster flares. Thongs and only thongs. Turtle necks in winter. Chunky slider style slip on shoes, Kickers, Ellesse trainers, brief revisit from jelly shoes, platforms with laces or a chunky metal bar across the front. Baby doll dresses and checked maxi dresses with buttons down the front both worn with doc martens and t-shirts underneath. Kookai label if your parents were well off. Little back packs. Mohair fluffy jumpers that left their mark everywhere. Short tartan skirts. Inappropriate slogans on t-shirts. Children’s tshirts worn by grown ups. Band t-shirts.

Beauty - lashings of glitter spray, hair mascara, bright green impulse spray, Tommy Girl, tight pony tail with two ‘bits’ dangling down, free nail varnish off the front of More magazine in ‘baby blue’. No nail varnish? Tippex will do. Very thin eyebrows (mine never recovered). Disgusting amounts of lip gloss (Shout magazine gave away a pink one that made your lips paler than your skin).

Furniture - inflatable plastic. Pine. Stencilling on walls. Peach coloured paint too.

Food and Drink - chicken kievs, lunchables and Findus Crispy Pancakes. Hooch, Tab Clear and Sunny Delight.

Braids as well. Does anyone remember wheen having braided hair with beads was all the rage? And eclipse jeans?

I remember the revolving dance floor on the tuxedo royals, first went at 16 when it was based at Boro. Aqua Bar and Tall Trees were also frequented in my teens and early 20s by which point Aqua Bar had closed. Shame. Time and The Keys at Yarm were also worth a look out.

I never left the house without these on my feet in the early 00s!

"Car seats were a thing in the late 80s. Where the hell where you all living?!"

Only for toddlers, not for older children like they are no.
In the 80s, children travelled in the boots of estate cars and even in the footwells of cars.

Long black and white print strappy dress with a skintight white body TShirt underneath, black Galaxy Adidas (never Superstars) that my dad had to wear in for me, Julia Roberts hair and a tiny cross body bag big enough for 20 Silk Cut, a lipstick and a condom.

I've never looked so good since...

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur

"Late 90s student look
Acupuncture trainers
Flares. Big ones. Cord or denim. Ideally from Afflecks or similar.
FCUK "witty" t shirt (mine had two birds on it, entitled 'great tits')
Suede blazer over to look extra cool."

I was a student in the 90s and don't recognise this at all.You must have been fashionable. We wore jeans with tight tops. I sometimes wore long skirts with tight tops. Denim jacket. Natural look makeup. Much, much more casual than students these days.

Shaders and Toners - yes, this is how I managed to 'colour' my hair without my DM even noticing.

Cords!! That noise as you walked!

I remember being wet up to my knees wearing flares in the rain.

Students were all flares or bootleg jeans, tight tops and trainers when I was there.

Make up wasn’t a thing really - you wore it or you didn’t.

I was born mid/late 80s and I didn't have a car seat, I travelled as a baby in a moses basket. I remember my sister being born in 1990 and she had a car seat and all the neighbours came over to look at it 🤣

I think I still have a couple of pairs of these somewhere.

Those plimsoll shoes! I lived in mine. With white scoop neck bodysuit, stonewash jeans or miniskirt, checky shirt. Wanted a chunky belt to go with it. Then at college I did the ironic t-shirts, 70s shirts, flares etc.

Pilot and Bay Trading were awesome. And Miss Selfridge.

@Fruityb Backless trainers, I remember them too! Did you wear socks with yours? When I was a student most wearers of those had bare heels visible.

Ah I had those high heeled plimsoles (wtf) which I loved and wore with sunflower spaghetti strap dress with tight t-shirt underneath. From Mark One of course !

I remembered something else whilst I was pegging the washing out. Being totally infatuated with Vic Reeves Big Night Out and The Mary Whitehouse Experience

Still find Big Night Out funny, TMWE less so (Rob Newman still gives me the fannygallops though )

My friend asking if I wasn't a bit young to be getting married and was I doing the right thing (said in the car on the way to the church...luckily poor advice as I'm still very happily married).

Ahh so many memories 💜
Mine are more the mid 90’s though as that was my favourite time..definitely slip dresses with tops/t-shirt underneath, fluffy or ribbed crop top with short shirt, tan tights (ffs) and Kangol or Adidas gazelles. Shiny material dresses & knee high boots, Boost chocolate bars, chicken Kiev’s & Pop tarts

Bubble bags anyone?