About 'using your brain'

[mandalena]

Can someone explain me what they mean when they say 'i m going to work because i want to use my brain'? I find this very insulting for SAHM and nannies
p.S. am NOT attacking working mums, only those who say this

I have given up a job I love to be at home. I miss it... but I would miss out on my daughter's growing up far more.

I can kind of see what people mean when they say this, but I think they do use it as a cover for not being satisfied at home. I wish it was acceptable to be honest enough to say that you aren't satisfied at home.

I am planning to go back to something completely different because we need the money. I may use different bits of my brain. But anyone who has managed to get a household up washed dressed and fed in the morning doesn't really need the 'use it or lose it' lecture, IMO.

I thought Anna's posts especially the first ones were excellent.

I kind of understand why someone would think it but why say it, unless it is a necessary part of conversation "IMO. . . ." not just like you've got to get away from the child to get your brain working, I have many a randomly adult convo with my 2 year old!! I get a better convo out of her than DH TBH LOL

Without reading the rest of this thread - just the OP. When I was on maternity leave - towards the end when baby was asleep I would find myself doing loads of creative writing purely I think as a way of 'using my brain'.

Should have added, when I went back to work the need to write sort of ended.

Message withdrawn

YABU.

You can't seriously say we are intellectually stimulated by being SAHM to small children.

And it is not an insult to say so. It is a choice we have made. My choice was to sacrifice these couple of years (from my career & from my sanity) to bring DD up myself.

So what element of being a SAHM is intellectually stimulating? Running around, changing nappies, getting bottles ready, feeding kiddies, getting out the house on time with the kiddies etc in my opinion are not intellectually stimulating.

I do find work intellectually stimulating, so much so I've completed further qualifications relating to my job because I enjoy this stimulation which I just didn't get being a SAHM.

Working gives me the stimulation I need. Equally being a SAHM may give another person the stimulation they need.

I'm a SAHM but all three DDs are at school. I spend most of my day on the PC because housework is so boring. My excuse is that I am excercising my brain. lol

SAHM-ing is hard bloody work physically and mentally, but id prefer it any day of the week compared to working.
It isnt that taxing on the old grey matter though is it? Not like working in an accounts office or as a nurse or doctor for instance.
So i suppose its really only an issue if the job/working environment is particularly brian taxing. I.e stacking shelves in tesco wont exactly be that mentally challenging but being a doctor in A&E would.

I have gone back to work now that my dc are both in full time school.

So what things are in the category of intellectually stimulating?
I would think it depends on what you do while you sahm and what you do for a job while you wohm. It also depends on what some people find mentally difficult and what some find easy.

I think it's just one of those stupid phrases that people trot out without thinking. Not meant to be derogatory as such.

I'm a SAHM and I don't use my brain. I used to compile financial reports, do loads of complicated sums, manage a team and decide their salary rise. Now I sing Incy Wincy Sodding Spider ad infinitum. I'm not sure I even possess a brain any more.

YABU IMO.

I don't think BabyDragon would be interested in my abilities to write macros on Excel and create complicated "idiot proof" spreadsheets for people to use.

I'm a SAHM and don't feel insulted by this particuarly (have only read OP btw) I don't feel as if i use my brain to the extent that I used to when I was at work, when i worked I was up to date with most political things, News, current affairs etc and could talk confidently about alot of things - but staying at home I am now less used to doing these things due the fact that alot of other SAHM's that I personally know are not interested in talking about these things they talk and focus on their children which is fine, but if they were more inclined to speak about other things then I would certainly still be doing this - and yes I have tried to do this but the conversation quickly changes back to our DC!

But at the end of the day I chose to be a SAHM and enter into the world of child talk, school talk etc which I am also very comfortable with and don't regret my decission and I do still 'use my brain' whatever that means it just used diferently than it was

When I went to work there was precious little evidence of anyone using their brain

I hate the notion that intellectual activity only comes with paid employment. I feel I have tremendous luxury as a SAHM to indulge in things I simply didn't have time for when I worked full time. I am studying something I am interested in, and which related quite nicely to watching my own children develop as well as my career, when I choose to go back to it. I get to read the paper and all those books I never had time to get around to, listen to music, am learning Spanish with my son, getting instruments out after having hidden them away.
I am using my brain.

It's absolutely fine to go out to work for intellectual stimulation, but intellectual 'work' can be many things besides one's career, IMO.

When I was a SAHM, coffee mornings didn't do much for me, and the internet wasn't as developed in those days. I went to a weekly bible study which kept the brain cells ticking over.

I LOVE being at home with my kids but I know exactly what people mean when they say this. They mean it's nice to be able to: solve problems in the adult world; use knowledge you may have gained through years of education, or skills you have been trained in; conduct stimulating adult conversations...the list goes on. Perhaps people should say 'use a different part of my brain' instead?

That's certainly true, Terrormater.

I remember when I was first a SAHM, former colleagues would ask me, "what do you do all day?"

And I would reply, "whatever I want!"

That put them in their place

it is a commonly used phrase "using my brain" referring to paid work. i dint think people usually mean to offend. but Work is demanding and different to being a SAHM. i dont actually think work Vs SAHM is constructive way of looking at it, or maeasuring two completley different roles with one blunt instrument eg "using my brain"

Paid emoloyment demands and requires
Ongoing training and maintaining core skills competencies (whatever these maybe)

Participation in an assessment or appraisal of competencies and skills. Measurable by your line manager or similar asking you to demonstrate how you acheive and maintain these skills

need to attain certain hours (as deemed by work contract) and arrive at stated time

ability to work and complete a certain task/role

abilty to work in MDT

basically to summarise i feel work is a different demand, because of contractural obligations, appraisals, tasks needing done.the need to attain to a certain standard

the application of sanctions if the above are not meet

Stay at home does not demand any of these tasks, or apply sanctions eg there is no maanger to tell you off if you did not adhere to a task. no national guidelines of competency in stay at home tasks

stay at home is demanding/physically hard and has no set hours - it can drag on longer than any 37 hour post

but overall i think working is using your brain - not necessarily meant in derogatory manner

me personally i really missed work, and when mat leave was over was desperate to return to talking to adults, getting asked work related queries. the MW came to see me and i waas reading a clinical journal and she said to me "so what did you used to do then" assuming i would not return to it.i was quite insulted

I think it's true that paid employment (not including self-employment which could give you more freedom to decide your own hours) is usually more structured than sahm.
I don't think this always means that being sah requires less mental input than woh employment.

Depends so much on what you do at work, and what you do at home. Currently I have a very thinking job, and lots of thinking stuff at home in my voluntary jobs. But I've had less thinking roles at home and out of home as well in the past.

But coping with managing all the demands on my time when I'm at home is probably the hardest thing I do.

You know, I actually had a woman, in my own home, as I served her homemade cakes and we talked about a book we'd both been reading, and we discussed how my HE was going, say to me, "I have to go back to work soon, or I'll just end up as a stay-at-home moron".

That was offensive.

If someone genuinely feels they don't use their brain at home, then to say they're going to work to use their brain is perfectly accurate and not a problem. If they say that all women who stay at home with their children don't use their brains, they're clearly not using theirs, because it's evidently not true.

goes off grunting to put brain back in case because she doesn't use it much and she wants to keep it pretty

I don't think I use my brain less looking after children, but I don't get much of a chance to focus on one thing at a time. At work I could spend whole half hours working on one thing without interruption and if I was doing a coffee round and used the wrong mugs, well people just lived with it. Its the high heels I miss most though.

I find being at home VERY BORING.

This is possibly because I am not creative etc. enough - but the constant CONSTANT talking of a 5 and 2 year old leaves me NO TIME to THINK FOR MYSELF ON A GROWN UP LEVEL.

Compared to that, sitting at a desk planning strategies is immensely relaxing and stimulating.

Yes children are lovely but when I hear people saying "Oooh you can learn so much from them!" images of those American inspirational posters flash through my head.