To ask how you would react to this?

[foreverandeveramen]

Had loose plans to meet up with 2 friends and their DC, no firm plans arranged but agreed to do something together.

Friends busy in the AM so they send their DC - 8, 9 and 12 to be with my DC at my house. They are excited about seeing them as not seen them in a while.

I'm sick but drag myself out of the house to buy hot dogs. While I'm upstairs friend's DC repeatedly tramp in and out of the house into raining muddy garden with shoes on via patio door over my cream carpet.

There is repeated door slamming, over and over again which I have to keep asking them to stop.

I give them food. Someone later announces the 12 year old has knocked over her orange juice on my cream carpet, although he hasn't actually let me know he's done this.

8 year old (not mine) repeatedly wanders into mine and DH's bedroom where we are sick and says she wants to relax in here with us (?!) I send her out, DH is sick in bed!!

At around 2.30 the three of them announce to my DC (who are 9 and 10) that they are all off to the cinema without them. I am still upstairs, they say nothing to me but I hear the door go and my dog running off down the street.

I call the children back and the 12 year old declares they are all going home. It's about a 10 minute walk and the 8 year old has never been allowed to walk home before while under my care so I ask them all to come back in the house while I call their mother to find out what's going on.

My 9 year old is now crying about not going to the cinema and the others announcing that they are going without her.

I call friend to clarify the situation re: cinema. She confirms that yes they've booked tickets to go without me and my DC so basically I've just provided a drive-by lunch before they pop off to the cinema without us.

What would your reaction be?

I would send her a bill for the carpet cleaning and I would never have them in my house again.

It sounds like a nightmare but most of what has happened wouldn’t have happened if you were watching the children rather than shut away in the bedroom. You should have cancelled because you were too ill to look after the DC.

If you weren’t in a position to supervise them (understandably) you should have rung your friends and told them to pick them up.

Oh wow i'd be fucked off with that even if the kids hadn't been a shower of rude nightmares but twice as pissed off considering their behaviour!! Your friends are users who clearly are raising their kids to be similar. The would really piss me off. Did you not say it?

Fair point I could have sat in the same room as them watching them like a hawk. I've never had to do that with children of 8/9/12.

I did ask them to stop banging the doors and tramping in and out of the garden. I didn't assume I'd have to supervise a 12 year old with a cup of orange juice.

I'd be raging. Absolutely raging. I know people can be thoughtless but that is just pig ignorant. Even if they just took your 9 year old. I'm sorry your "friends" were so shitty.

Tbf you weren’t in a fit state to have other kids over if you and your husband were ill in bed.
Drinks get spilled
Kids tromp in and out of gardens
I’m not sure why you accepted them round in the first place

Those kids sound like a giant pain in the arse and your friends sound like users.

Seen them a cleaning bill for your carpet and another for the child care you provided, as that’s what you were at the end of the day.

Yanbu. That is really shitty behaviour from the lot of them. Did you ask her why she hadn't thought to invite your kids too?

Why are you looking after these children if you’re sick?

I wasn't in bed. I was sick but I wasn't in bed - it was DH who was in bed.

I was up and about going to the shop, buying them lunch, making them lunch, cleaning orange juice out the carpet etc etc.

At one point I was in the bedroom while DH was in there sick (I see that line you mean where I say I'm sick too. I am, but I'm mostly up and about).

To be fair I would have cancelled but two of the children are visiting this week only so we'd kept the week free to spend with them and my DC would have been devastated if they couldn't have seen them.

DH is more sick than me as I'm more over it now. I wish we had have cancelled if I knew the day was going to look like that. I assume I was just getting lunch out of the way while everyone was busy before we went off to do something nice with the kids.

Two friends are no longer local - they are visiting this week only. Honestly not trying to dripfeed but I keep being asked why I was making plans while I was sick and it's beause these children were only visiting this week.

"Hang on, was it both sets of kids going to cinema with your two friends or just one family?"

It was 8 year old plus her mother and 9 and 12 year old plus their mother. Then me and my DC not going.

and it's beause these children were only visiting this week.

Then you made the decision based on a tight time frame. You won't do it again unless you're able to watch these kids. Nothing else to say is there?

I think five excited children need supervising. It’s very different from just your own two.
If you were unwell and vomiting you should have cancelled rather than risk spreading the germs.
It might have been wiser to call your friend and tell them to collect the children. Why didn’t you lock the back door and say the garden was too muddy? Did you tell them what they were allowed to do or suggest an activity?

You shouldn’t have taken them, but you did!
Does her 12 yr old have a phone?
Maybe he rang and said you were cranky and dh was sick etc

They should have taken your kids to the cinema but maybe 4 kids was too much responsibility for a 12 yr old.

The carpet isn’t practical so not really their fault. You should have told them to remove shoes etc my kids wouldn’t have a clue to take care of carpet areas.

"If you were unwell and vomiting you should have cancelled rather than risk spreading the germs. "

I wasn't vomiting it's a bad cold and I'm asthmatic so feeling shit but nobody is going to die by being near me.

The 12 year old didn't take them to the cinema, their mothers drove them all there leaving my DC behind.

Fair enough the carpet is impractical and they're changing it soon and I did indeed direct them to stop trampling it with muddy shoes.

You could have avoided it all by saying today did not suit. This is a situation where you need to have a bit of common sense and not have visitors in your home while you and Dh are sick. Your DC would just have to get over the disappointment and I'm sure they'd have survived not seeing them, even if it was the only opportunity this week.

"You could have avoided it all by saying today did not suit."

Yes I could, but up until today I thought we were really close friends and we genuinely wanted to spend time with them, even though I felt rubbish LIke I say I thought I was just getting them all fed before we went and did something else.

Would there have been space in the carsfor your DC too?

Yes there was space in their cars. There was also space in my car, which I would happily have driven us to the cinema in so I could stuff my face with sweet whilst watching angry birds and feeling shit.