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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you would react to this?

84 replies

foreverandeveramen · 08/08/2019 20:39

Had loose plans to meet up with 2 friends and their DC, no firm plans arranged but agreed to do something together.

Friends busy in the AM so they send their DC - 8, 9 and 12 to be with my DC at my house. They are excited about seeing them as not seen them in a while.

I'm sick but drag myself out of the house to buy hot dogs. While I'm upstairs friend's DC repeatedly tramp in and out of the house into raining muddy garden with shoes on via patio door over my cream carpet.

There is repeated door slamming, over and over again which I have to keep asking them to stop.

I give them food. Someone later announces the 12 year old has knocked over her orange juice on my cream carpet, although he hasn't actually let me know he's done this.

8 year old (not mine) repeatedly wanders into mine and DH's bedroom where we are sick and says she wants to relax in here with us (?!) I send her out, DH is sick in bed!!

At around 2.30 the three of them announce to my DC (who are 9 and 10) that they are all off to the cinema without them. I am still upstairs, they say nothing to me but I hear the door go and my dog running off down the street.

I call the children back and the 12 year old declares they are all going home. It's about a 10 minute walk and the 8 year old has never been allowed to walk home before while under my care so I ask them all to come back in the house while I call their mother to find out what's going on.

My 9 year old is now crying about not going to the cinema and the others announcing that they are going without her.

I call friend to clarify the situation re: cinema. She confirms that yes they've booked tickets to go without me and my DC so basically I've just provided a drive-by lunch before they pop off to the cinema without us.

What would your reaction be?

OP posts:
QuickThinkOfAName · 08/08/2019 21:55

What shitty friends!

I would ask why you weren't also invited or were you only good for the childcare beforehand. Your poor dd hearing they were all going out with her. Honestly adults being mean to other adults is bad enough but grown ups pulling stunts like this where children are made to feel shit and left out are the absolute pits.

7yo7yo · 08/08/2019 21:56

They’re not your friends.
Dump the fuckers.

Timeandtimeagain42 · 08/08/2019 21:57

Your friends were shits.... treated you as free childcare, ditched you and rubbed your children's faces in it!!! I'd be angry and I'd be stepping away from the friendship.

Have you asked them why you weren't invited to the cinema?

Can't understand the amount of people in here trying to make it your fault!

Original poster
foreverandeveramen · 08/08/2019 22:04

"And yes, reflecting that cream carpets + dog + kids was a bad idea"

We are in the process of saving up for a new one Grin

OP posts:
CorBlimeyGovenor · 08/08/2019 22:04

You have been taken advantage of, but, in fairness, they wouldn't have realised that they were taking advantage of you, not knowing that you were too unwell to supervise them. The issue of your children being excluded though is awful. There are a lot of thoughtless people out there who are so focused on their own kids, that they fail to consider others.

Kerrywerrywoo1 · 08/08/2019 22:14

She’s not friend - she took advantage of you as a free lunch / babysitter before fucking off to spoil her kids and leave yours feeling proper shit. So not only was she a muggy cunt to you but also your children! Drop her like a hot turd.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/08/2019 22:18

Did you actually see your friends at all or just their kids?

Original poster
foreverandeveramen · 08/08/2019 22:28

"Did you actually see your friends at all or just their kids?"

Just the kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
foreverandeveramen · 08/08/2019 22:30

I did say the kids walked out of the house without so much of a thank you or good bye and she replied that she doesn't know any child that says thank you with being prompted by a parent.

(I know mine do).

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 08/08/2019 22:40

we could meet them after they had finished the cinema if we really wanted to.

Oh! How very kind of them!Hmm

Rude users! To dump their unruly offspring on you (esp when feeling rough) & then make lovely plans in the pm is horrible. And as for the nasty brat who rubbed your kids face in it.....Angry

TheSerenDipitY · 08/08/2019 22:43

so you were actually childcare while they fucked off and then they took their children to the movies.... assholes

hubbletelescope · 08/08/2019 23:01

So the two mothers had a nice child free lunch?

Isittheend · 08/08/2019 23:27

They have treated you like shit OP. I'd be really pissed off. Even if they didn't know you were unwell they should have been double checking it was ok for the children to come round first.
Excluding you and your DC from cinema trip is just mean.
FlowersCake

Ohyesiam · 08/08/2019 23:39

You need a double friendectomy

movingontosomethingnew · 08/08/2019 23:42

Tell them how shit they've been op.

Similar thing happened to me and I called them out on it.

fargo123 · 09/08/2019 07:07

How do you know these dreadful people? Do the other two regularly treat you like the (free) hired help and then deliberately exclude you from stuff? Were you aware the kids were going to come over unaccompanied or did they just turn up?

I'd be sending them a bill for the carpet, then telling them how rude they are and never having anything to do with them again.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/08/2019 07:18

I did say the kids walked out of the house without so much of a thank you or good bye and she replied that she doesn't know any child that says thank you with being prompted by a parent.

WHAT!

There's no excuse for a 12 year old not to say "thank you".

CoraPirbright · 09/08/2019 07:33

Your update re: not saying thanks says all you need to know really. They are thoughtless, rude & have no manners. Probably no point taking them to task as I doubt they will see that they have done anything wrong. I would cut contact.

Nanny0gg · 09/08/2019 07:34

Similar happened to once many years ago

They are no longer my friends...

AngeloMysterioso · 09/08/2019 08:31

Yes I asked and they said they booked tickets that morning and that we could meet them after they had finished the cinema if we really wanted to.

That’s... not a reason.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 09/08/2019 08:37

My 3 yo bellows "THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME" unprompted when we leave someone's house also shops, petrol stations and cafes. If that can happen, it can happen for a 12 yo.
Your friends are assbutts who have used you for childcare for their rude kids. Cut the cord.
And God yes, new carpets, dark ones!

Coffeeandcherrypie · 09/08/2019 09:29

Your 3yo sounds adorable, @AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen

ThisHereMamaBear · 09/08/2019 09:30

Feeling unwell with children is horrid. You're a lovely mum to carry on the play date as your child was so excited. Hope you feel better soon x

ThisHereMamaBear · 09/08/2019 09:33

Ps and re the manners, 12 is plenty old enough to say thank you.

Timeandtimeagain42 · 09/08/2019 15:51

That’s... not a reason

It really isn't!! Any word or attempt at apology from them since op? I'm amazed sometimes by how unpleasant people can be to each other.

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