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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what you did for your hen night

88 replies

hereforit · 08/08/2019 17:28

And how much it cost?

I'm not married, or dating. Just curious. Had to say no to a friend's hen as they wanted £200+ for a hotel, then gowns that said 'bride' etc on them then matching ones for us. Then other bits and bobs. Then considering an activity like paintballing.

This was all for 1 night away...

I hate the idea of buying clothes I'll never wear again. It's a waste, and also, £200 just for the hotel for one night to me it just nuts! It did include a meal and breakfast but I just don't get the need for it..

Am I a proper grouch?

Had to say no a couple of years back too as a friend wanted a hen do in Spain. It was going to cost £1000 plus...

AIBU to think it is all really stupid and pointless?

OP posts:
Grumpbum123 · 08/08/2019 17:29

1920s murder mystery party with a meal then drinks in towns after

MatildaTheCat · 08/08/2019 17:30

I went out for dinner with a group of friends and had a few drinks.

That was it and very nice too.

ScreamingValenta · 08/08/2019 17:31

Went for a meal at a local Italian - so just the normal cost of a meal and drinks.

Original poster
hereforit · 08/08/2019 17:31

See that sounds ace. I went to one last month. Spa day off Groupon. £40 each all in. It was perfect.

OP posts:
Chasingsquirrels · 08/08/2019 17:31

Been married twice and not had a hen do, actually I've never been to one either!

UrsulaPandress · 08/08/2019 17:32

Didn’t have one and never been invited on one.

I’m always quite shocked when I see photos of folk in their 40s and 50s rocking the matching t shirts and sashes. Grim and tacky in equal parts.

Probably why I’ve never been invited on one 😜

T

Alicesweewonders · 08/08/2019 17:33

80's dance class, Murder Mystery/dinner then hit Gaytown. I wouldn't say it's stupid & pointless, it's their hen to do as they wish. A few people couldn't make mine due to cost & childcare, I understood. It can be expensive.

Politicalacuityisathing · 08/08/2019 17:33

Meal out and drinks for first one and party at home for second.

MiddleLane · 08/08/2019 17:33

I didn't have one! (By choice)

mamakoukla · 08/08/2019 17:34

My future mil organized it. For the one evening I couldn’t make it that week. Almost arranged for a stripper but decided best to behave

elQuintoConyo · 08/08/2019 17:35

Dinner in my town with 5 others who all live here, then drinks. Home by 3am. Wild night, but el cheapo Grin that was 9 years ago.

I have been to two similar hen parties over the years but refuse point blank to do the weekend or abroad ones, or overnight at the other end of the country, etc. Sod that.

Original poster
hereforit · 08/08/2019 17:35

I genuinely believe that for me, paying £200 for a hotel, then likely another 30-50 on food and drinks, £50 paintballing, £50 trains, £40 on gowns, 25 on the gift they want to buy is stupid, and pointless. It could end up costing between £4-500 😥

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 08/08/2019 17:36

photos of folk in their 40s and 50s rocking the matching t shirts and sashes.

It's not mandatory to wear matching clothes or hen-specific costumes.

Shoxfordian · 08/08/2019 17:36

Had an afternoon tea with aunties one weekend. Think it was 25 each

Also had a cocktail making thing another day at all bar one, was sinilar amount then a bar so people could spend as much as they wanted.

I don't think 200 for a nice hotel is too crazy though

FrogFairy · 08/08/2019 17:36

Bit of a pub crawl around my home town, it wouldn’t have cost any more than a regular night out with my mates. However, this was nearly 30 years ago before hens, stags and weddings became OTT events that you need to sell a kidney to pay for.

soundsystem · 08/08/2019 17:38

We had an afternoon doing craft stuff and cocktails (I'm not particularly crafty but knew this would appeal to a lot of people and good for all ages). My Aunt and my Godmother organised all the craft activities an my sister organised the cocktails :)
This bit was just women: my friends and also cousins, aunties, my mum and MIL.

Then we went for dinner, my sister had booked an area and agreed a fixed menu and decorated it all. More cocktails were involved! A couple of my closest friends are male and they joined at this stage.

Then we did a scavenger hunt/pub crawl around the city, organised by my sister (I think she paid for and downloaded some clues). MIL and a couple of other more mature guests left us to it at this stage...

Then we said goodbye to my mum and aunts and the rest of us went clubbing.

It was really good fun and didn't cost a fortune for those attending. My sister had made badges with "bride", "mother of the bride" etc but no other special kit required.

It was in my home city so some people did pay for hotels but mostly people stayed with friends/friends of friends. The wedding was in the city where we live so we figured this was it was only one lot of hotel costs for everyone (as guests live in one or the other).

Original poster
hereforit · 08/08/2019 17:39

I would pay £200 for a nice hotel with a partner or even my mum. But just not for a hen do with a load of people I've never met.

OP posts:
gwilt · 08/08/2019 17:40

I didn't have one Grin. Instead, I went to see Dominic West in Othello and have a lovely meal afterwards with my best friend.

The nicest one I went on was renting a shared flat with friends (£10 per night per person), bringing our own drinks and food and doing fun activities together.

soundsystem · 08/08/2019 17:40

Sorry, I missed the how much did it cost part: just the cost of the meal and drinks. Meal was reasonable and people knew in advance and drinks were just normal drinks in pubs as on any other night out.

Original poster
hereforit · 08/08/2019 17:41

Some of these hens sound awesome

OP posts:
Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 08/08/2019 17:42

I didn’t have one and have only been to one in my 50+ years which was for my SIL. They had the full works, big hen do, big wedding, big divorce 6 years later.

heidbuttsupper · 08/08/2019 17:43

Day at the races Grin

80sMum · 08/08/2019 17:46

I didn't have a hen night - neither did my sisters or close friends (it wasn't such a big thing in the 70s as it is now), so I have never actually been to one!

Cyberworrier · 08/08/2019 17:47

Grumpbum that sounds awesome!

maddening · 08/08/2019 17:47

Local town, cocktail masterclass £30 pp Inc 2 cocktails, prosecco and shots, meal which was as much as they wanted to spend themselves, all paid own amounts, in to bar where I had booked a booth and paid for 3 bottles of champagne for us all to share, other spends would have been drinks and taxis etc and some of us stayed in a travelodge rather than cabs home etc but obviously that was up to each person what they did.

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