Light hearted... But AIBU to think that my sister (who has a PhD) should know this?

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

My sister had her baby a couple of months ago. He had a fever, tested for bacteria but no bacteria grew so it was ruled. My elimination process it had to be a a virus... To which her anwer was... "But I thought breast milk gave the baby all viral antibodies!" I almost wanted to strangle her... Obviously you only pass the ones you're immune to! AIBU to think she should know this? Especially considering she's not dumb as she has a PhD in criminal law??

That's not how it happened. It was in the family chat, she asked my uncle that if it wasn't a bacteria, what could it be.

To which is said, most likely a virus, mycotic infections usually don't give fevers.

To which she said "but I though breast milk would make them immune to everything" to which I replied "not necessarily, you have to be immune yourself too". And linked her to that NHS article.

How is that rude or condescending??

My friend has two PhDs and I had to explain what a cup a soup is.

I have a PhD in microbiology and even I think you're being a bit unfair people get spun so many lines about breast milk being basically the miracle answer to all humanity's ills, that they end up thinking no BF baby can ever possibly fall ill due to infection. Your sister has just listened to the hype....

Ok so just an innocent family chat between a new mum with a poorly baby and her family. Which you then post on the internet to make fun of her. THEN you tell us that she’s a terrible person and you are secretly enjoying this.

Which bit of this is lighthearted?

Cuppa Soups are disgusting, she is better off not knowing. This doesn't make her dumb.

Fugu/blowfish is a fish more poisonous than cyanide if not prepared the right way. Are people who don't that stupid? No.

Isn't a mycotic infection a fungal infection? Not bacterial?

How is that rude or condescending??

Have a read back through your posts on this thread, it might give you a clue.

Maybe... I know she was adviced to bath her baby with some drops of breast milk and coconut oil. To me that sounded fairly odd. During the heatwave she was also adviced to give the baby water and peppermint tea. My cousin (a pediatrician) chimed in and said BM was more than enough.

For labour she was given Bach flowers and homeopathy.

Switzerland does seem to have a very different health system.

Good grief, Coffeeandcherrypie, did I say for one moment I think he’s dumb? He’s incredibly clever. Having a PhD however makes him neither omniscient nor particularly full of common sense.

I feel sorry for your sister, OP. It feels like you’re lurking in wait for her to make a mistake.

I have a PhD and am vastly ignorant about a huge range of things (don't tell anyone though).

Switzerland does seem to have a very different health system.

Lucky them.

I cannot believe you linked her. How condescending

I agree with the poster who referenced the hype around the benefits of breastfeeding. Maybe she is pissed off that she struggled through what can be excruciating pain to feed, and then didn’t get all the benefits she was promised (as she saw it)? That kind of emotional response can often be the first thing on your mind, rather than the more reasoned, rational response that takes in practical knowledge.

To which she said "but I though breast milk would make them immune to everything" to which I replied "not necessarily, you have to be immune yourself too". And linked her to that NHS article.

Smug and smarty pants, without empathy.
If you were my sister, you'd irritate the hell out of me. I'd feel I could never relax around you. Is this the sort of sister you want to be?

Judgey sister! Nice!

I’ve found that being ‘clever’ does not have to = being ‘intelligent’. She was a bit silly to think that but to be honest you’ve been just as silly by presuming that just because someone has a PhD they should know a lot outside of their degree subject.

OP, you might like to work on your emotional intelligence and empathy. You are not coming across very well on this thread.

I would never get offended about links. It's just spreading knowledge and citing sources.

And as far as I can tell nobody got offended. I tried to reassure her how my daughter had had several bacterial infections in her first year, and she had nothing to worry about.

The way she explained it all babies stay in hospital by default for 14 days if suspected of bacterial infection. Something that wasn't the case with my daughter, but again just different systems.

I was empathetic while my nephew was in hospital, just when she wondered what could it have been is when I answered. See previous post.

I told her a few times it was nothing to worry about if the baby was stable and fever was decreasing.

When this conversation happened the baby had been discharged for about 3-4 days.

That happens here now to some extent (not as long as 14 days, as long as the treatment takes) although the babies can go home when their samples come back clear of infection. It’s because sepsis is becoming so common

I imagine a lot has changed here since you had your children also. It had changed loads between my 2.

And yes linking is cringe. It says you need scientific evidence to believe me as you don’t trust me so I did a quick google

It’s a case of of knowing your audience OP. A worried parent with a sick baby was a pretty inappropriate choice to inform of their ignorance of a subject and make aware that you know more. That’s without the bitchiness of posting about her on the internet in an open forum and calling her names. As PP suggested you need to work on your self awareness and empathy, you’ve been an utter bitch. If you can’t handle your sister and really really dislike her this much, do both of yourselves a favour and cut her loose.

FYI coconut oil and breastmilk are proven antibacterials and antifungals and are widely recommend by health professionals in the UK. As are homeopathic remedies such as Bach’s remedies and arnica to use in pregnancy and after birth. Many Trusts point women towards considering aromatherapy for labour and the Trust I gave birth at is paving the way in actively supporting women to give hypnobirthing a try, providing classes and trained midwives on the subject.

So you’re wrong on all of those fronts too. It’s not a Switzerland thing.

I know she was adviced...

I bet she knows the word ‘advised’ though, so she’s got one up on you there.

I don't think I've been a bitch by given her a link on a WhatsApp convo. I never called her name's, that's grossly disproportionate.

Yes, she's not the nicest person but believe me I've never meant to make her feel bad much less by putting a link in a convo.

I do it for work all the time, but I work in research/ fraud detection so I'm very used to it.

I agree that I might have to work on my interpersonal skills, but my comment was never meant to make her feel bad as much as I'm genuinely happy to not see her ever again. Never called her names or anything.

I would never call her a bad mother (something she repeatedly has) or would never tell her son the opposite of what she's told him (something she's done to me many many times).

Maybe this proves that to avoid ANY conflict it's best to cut all contact.

It’s a case of of knowing your audience

This is such an underrated skill.

People only know what they know. I’m not a ‘ologist’ anything but I have worked for people renowned in their particular field who know feck all about anything outside it. A mixture of not caring enough to inform themselves or never having being in a situation that they need to know.

Until we all get an encyclopaedia uploaded at birth all of us are ignorant on the whole.

Just about everybody I work with has a PhD ..... and many of them have to be reminded to pull their pants down before they take a piss

They are all exceptionally clever people in their own field but that doesn't translate to being knowledgeable about absolutely everything.

Give your sis a break