To ask how you got rich

[getmeacupoftea]

We're struggling financially to put it bluntly. DH is full time in the military and I do as many hours as I can around the kids and his work schedule. I want ask what people have done to be in a comfortable position with their money. I'm driven and ready to work my ass off, just not sure which direction to go. I feel I'm still relatively young and have already got my maternity leave etc done and dusted. I know money isn't everything but I'm sick of having to skimp and save for things.

This comment

I don’t find stories like your brothers inspiring as why should he have to work 12 hour days and break his back just to earn a fair wage? Blaming people for being in low wage work and stigmatising them as “not working hard enough” when others sail through life due to their genetics doesn’t do anyone any favours.

Is utterly insulting. I don't want to debate with someone who speaks like that about other people. I have never ever ever said someone else hasn't worked hard enough. I am not blaming anyone. At all. Don't be ridiculous. Nobody in either of our birth families has been ever had access to academic opportunities, I said this. Sail through life?! Really?! Have you been in care?!
Ridiculous.

I don’t find stories like your brothers inspiring

What a nasty thing to say.

@Hithere12

I would appreciate it if you don't quote me saying "not working hard enough" when I have NEVER, ever said that, you have.

Did well at school, well at uni, career established for a good ten years, mortgage got...then had children.

@ThatCurlyGirl

I also think there is an element of having an appetite (and ability) to take a risk.

Back to my sales example. I could have earned a higher base, and worked less hours, in a more standard job. But I actively decided to take a risk on a v low base salary but with the promise of high earnings if I did well. I was single and able to live v frugally whilst I did this. I couldn't have done this with kids.

80% of people I started with didn't last 9 months. It was a huge risk and one which worked for me.

People who start their own successful business would similarly take a big risk. It doesn't suit everyone personality and approach.

You can, notwithstanding a few particular jobs, become significantly rich when working for someone else.

@Hithere12

My brother "genetics" (your word not mine) comes from a line of abusive, non working men. How dare you write as if his achievements mean nothing.

We have had nothing handed to us. If you had ever adopted kids who had been in care and dragged themselves into self employed successful careers through sheer bloody mindedness would think that was ok for someone to speak about them the way you have about my brother?

One person's success takes nothing away from someone else's. I specifically said that if my mum had known the opportunities available, for example, she may well have snapped them up.

Why are you angry that I am proud of my brother for doing well in life from having fuck all help to start with? How can that possibly anger someone? I guess we should know our place.

I wouldn't describe myself as rich in the slightest, but that's partly because I know some extremely wealthy people - also some very poor. I graduated with a degree in accounting and law, then qualified as an accountant with one of the big four and worked overseas for 10 years. It was hard graft but I was in my twenties and didn't have dependants.

I've been a sole parent for nearly 22 years - no maintenance from DD's father and I'm happy I didn't need it, so that's where I feel lucky - enough money brings some freedom. Downside I only had six weeks' maternity leave so never took DD to school or picked her up. Upside I took a couple of years out when she was older.

Having an incentive - DD's education, paying off my mortgage early - spurred me on, and now I'm happy ticking along. I agree with looking at your skills and identifying what you're passionate about.

@pinkcardi

I totally agree with you - there's a definite element of willingness to take a risk versus playing it safe. It's terrifying when you have no safety no to be honest, and isn't for everyone.

Risk taking was a very measured decision for me and if the potential risk wasn't worth the potential reward I definitely wouldn't have done it. Thank you for understanding without being judgemental.

I wouldn't have done it had I had kids at the time, I totally get it from both sides and think it's up to the individual to decide what is right for them and their family

@Hithere12

You are way too fragile and sensitive for mumsnet. Seriously.

I'm really not, I'm fine - you seem angry and bitter so I hope you manage to get past that and not hate the stories of other people doing well against the odds. Good luck

I am not rich at all but as a single parent, I have had to make choices about what is I portant financially. I work hard - teaching full time, tutoring, exam marking, running holiday clubs. I take the view that every single penny counts - and I think this is lacking in a lot of people: I meal plan, buy basic food ranges, cheap cuts of meat, I only buy in sale, at charity shops, on eBay, have a hairdresser who comes to the house, know where petrol is cheapest and factor it in to my weekly routine, shop around annually for insurance deals, keep the heating off as much as possible, wash only when the machine is full, limit showers to 2 minutes.....small stuff adds up. We have holidays but I shop around, like I do with everything else. It is exhausting but life is hard and we make choices and as a result, Imhave a healthy bank balance and a small pension pot and I sleep at night.

PinkCardi is right, no one I know would have been comfortable taking the risks DH and I took. We took out enormous loans against our house to fulfil contracts for big jobs early on in the business. Neither of us is risk averse - if either of us was we wouldn’t have taken on such massive commitments. You need confidence and a huge surge of energy and determination.

Sil and bil would've been quite wealthy (she is self employed, he runs a bar), but they spend huge amounts on restaurants, drink and cocaine. My db is well off because he works 6 days a week, 12 hour days, doesn't go out doesn't drink and hasn't had a holiday or break longer than 2 days in 15 years. Also no kids. We do well because dh took the plunge for a stupendously huge career change - worked three jobs for 2 years to save up the training money. No pay for 2 years, to gamble on securing employment at the end of it. A friend of his is well off because he's childless, owns his own IT company but doesn't spend out on stuff. Might buy the occasional takeaway but that's it.

@StarShapedWindow and @Sotiredofthislife I totally agree it's up to the individuals involved to weigh up the potential outcomes in their specific situation. FWIW you both sound like you've made sensible and fruitful ones 😊

They are many avenues and natural talents that gets you to a well paid job.

You can of course be naturally academic and pursue a career of research.

You can be imaginative and creative, you could invent something and be an instant success.

You can be business-minded clever. Able to spot opportunities and develop them before anyone else.

You can have the gift of the gab and become an excellent sales person.

And of course you can have an amazing talent that makes you a leader in the field.

Many ways to do well from what you've given at birth, but unless you're also born with luck sticking to you at all time, a dose of determination and even stubbornness will make you go further.

@swingofthings

Bang on. Thank you

That’s a lovely thing to say CurlyGirl, I believe in in making the most of what you’re naturally good at - I think we make too much of academia in the UK - good people skills coupled with the desire to work hard can get you a long way. Also creativity coupled with good people skills.

@StarShapedWindow

That’s a lovely thing to say CurlyGirl, I believe in in making the most of what you’re naturally good at - I think we make too much of academia in the UK - good people skills coupled with the desire to work hard can get you a long way. Also creativity coupled with good people skills.

I really believe it

My brother can take any machine apart and put it back together (and then some!) and I can speak confidently in front of lots of people.

Different strokes, different folks!

Start a business, work incredibly hard at it so no holidays for many years etc etc. But then if you work hard and have some luck you can sell it at the right time and be set for life.

But also don't go crazy - always keep an eye on your expenditure.

I don't think there are short cuts to getting rich generally if we are talking about making money yourself rather than being gifted/inheriting it.

And you often have to take risks, we took some mighty big risks which many people wouldn't have taken. Also for many years earnt less than could have working for other people but it was always for a long term goal.

Yes to the willingness to take risks! I was self employed for a while and hated it, whereas my husband thrives on it. He left his last employer with a paycheck to last us 6 months and lots of ambition. He works his arse off for us and I am thankful that he was willing to do that. I work a regular 8-5 and despite my earnings being much lower, this is better suited to me.

OP how about becoming a catering assessor? I work with a few at the college I work at. They have all worked in catering but got tired of the hours.
Generally, you don't need any quals just experience and they may ask you to take an assessor qual.

Honestly, DH works in tech and we moved to the US where the pay is so very much more than here.....

Both got decent degrees in STEM. I worked up to 50k FT am now PT after kids so on about 32k now. DH was a contractor for ages which brought in really good money, but was a bit scary. He's recently landed a really good salary of 130k.

We borrowed some money from my parents to buy our first house, next bought quite a big property but it was too much for us so we've downsized and had cash over so have been able to pay off debts and put money aside for savings.

We are 36 and 38, finally feeling comfortable!

Pick a good industry and take risks

Last year our household income was £180k and we are 29 and 30.

We have been very lucky we stumbled into this.

Though still can't buy a house in London 😂🙈

Sorry I haven't phrased that correctly - we were lucky with the industry.... But we have both put in crazy hours and energy into the job