To ask how you got rich

[getmeacupoftea]

We're struggling financially to put it bluntly. DH is full time in the military and I do as many hours as I can around the kids and his work schedule. I want ask what people have done to be in a comfortable position with their money. I'm driven and ready to work my ass off, just not sure which direction to go. I feel I'm still relatively young and have already got my maternity leave etc done and dusted. I know money isn't everything but I'm sick of having to skimp and save for things.

Sorry maybe this is the chip on my shoulder speaking but

Lot easier to get good qualifications if you are lucky enough to be born clever

Agree was lucky to be born clever - although still not sure this was the case or if I was born a fighter because I had to be

Lot easier to get good qualifications if your family are wealthy and you are in a classroom with 12 others rather than 29 others.

Easier yes but not impossible, very very poor family and class of 30-35 where I went to a school. Worked my arse off and got taken the piss out of for being a geek.

Lot easier to work hard early on if you are lucky enough to be healthy in your early 20s.

Maybe healthy wise but also tough coming out of care with rent to pay and no support - list everything recently because I nearly died. Agree with no family money it's incredibly tough and not nearly as stable.

But - yes - you are right - Mumsnet is full of a certain demographic. (Well educated, intelligent, middle class.)

Personally I'm well educated because I did jobs around my neighbourhood to pay myself for 11+ practice papers because my parents wouldn't (yes I know lucky to have this opportunity but only non private girl in my class)

I applied for every grant going for being poor but shit hot at work and willing to work really fucking gars. I've paid it back in tax times hundreds since!

Intelligent? Arguable. Worked my arse off, obsessed with learning, family took the piss out of me but I wanted out of the situation I was in and knew education and a clear career path was the way forward.

My mum was a cleaner - I do not in ANY way think I'm better than her, if staying on at school or running her own business was an opportunity available to her maybe she would have. It wasn't even an option for her.

And middle class? Nope, working class girl who happened to be adept at a career considered middle class. I've come from being left outside a hospital at birth to where I am now with no financial support at all, it can all fall down.

Sometimes grafters really do make their own luck and they find a way to make it back. I'm starting my second journey now and it's tough but my god I'm going to feel proud when I get there.

I know people with very high incomes who still have money worries - in my view, they are not truly rich.

It can be never ending as your spending grows. So you can as well get worried over financing your private jet or a 20M mansion. But you’d still call someone with tens of millions rich, wouldn’t you?

In our case, I worked as a teacher but started investing as soon as I started working. DH moved fields after just a year into his graduate job. He switched to sth related to his interests and degree but much better paid. He climbed up the ladder to the very top.

OP, if you feel unsure about starting a business or would like to do that alongside other things, you’re in a good position to get better qualifications. If you got straight A’s at GCSE you’re definitely clever enough to eventually gain professional qualifications. Unfortunately, it will take years to qualify and then another few years to get decent earnings.

@SalrycLuxx

I realised early on that the way out of my rather difficult life was to get top grades, a degree and then pursue a career that would pay big money. So I did. Essentially I sold my soul to the City for my 20s

Similar sacrificed my 20s as no other choice in my situation - well done you, I get it

Well if you got all A’s you’re likely intelligent/high IQ and could work in a well paid field.

I’m sick of this whole “work hard and you’ll be rich” cope. How successful you are is hugely correlated with IQ, that is something you are born with and cannot change.

Lot easier to get good qualifications if your family are wealthy and you are in a classroom with 12 others rather than 29 others

The vast majority of people (93%) go to state school so that’s no excuse not to get good grades 😂 yes you’d do better at Private but again it’s a tiny minority who have that privilege.

Also consider risk and stats on how likely success is in a given field.

Where very few make it to the top you tend to get believe in your dreams if I can anyone can type stuff from the few. But a profession where more make more might appeal due to lower risk.

@Hithere12

Well if you got all A’s you’re likely intelligent/high IQ and could work in a well paid field. I’m sick of this whole “work hard and you’ll be rich” cope. How successful you are is hugely correlated with IQ, that is something you are born with and cannot change.

My brother has no GCSEs at all and we both had no family support - he's worked his way up from factory floor to management at a big manufacturer by working 12/14 hour days, sacrificing a social life and putting himself forward for every opportunity available.

He is not academic at all but he is determined not to be in the situation we were in foster care and has sacrificed a social life throughout his 20s like I have. His achievements are not academic like mine (uni is etc) but I am so proud of him.

I'd agree about being self-employed as the way to really make money. I am a paralegal and earn approx £70k, but my husband, a self-employed attorney, earns over ten times that. Works a 65 hour week for it, mind.

I’m not rich but comfortable through -

1. Good college grades, good work ethic instilled by parents

1. Early promotion through the ranks at work to middle management, final salary pension scheme

1. Recognised that buy to let was a no brainer in the late 90s and bought 2 houses that doubled in price.

1. Always careful with money - saved to buy things, didn’t have holidays/nice kitchen/nice cars when we couldn’t afford them.

1. Divorced but my ex was decent and paid maintenance regularly for kids.

1. Inheritance.

Combination of good luck and good management I think. I still look round for “opportunities” to increase wealth but it doesn’t seem as easy/low-risk nowadays.

I think it’s partly genetics and inherent intelligence.
I think a large proportion of it is parents- most people I know who are doing well were supported financially through uni and given deposits on their first homes etc.
I understand the tenacity of those who didn’t and worked hard but in many cases working hard to pull yourself out of a lifestyle is impossible due to home life. As an example I was a homeless teenager and prior to that was also kept awake at night by Domesic Violence. The nights there was no violence, I was unable to sleep due to anxiety. There was no way I could’ve worked hard at school given my situation- I was exhausted, anxious, neglected and school could not be my priority (despite actually being academically very able)
I was also unable to access higher education etc due to lack of funds and not knowing how to go about it on my own. I was also mostly soda surfing
I did return to education as an adult and now have a relatively good job but am still catching up with 20s debt, and will never be able to catch up to my friends who were privelidged. I hate the ‘I worked hard’ rhetoric- working hard does not always mean financial freedom.
So your answer I guess is genetics, circumstances, support and some degree of work ethic

The vast majority of people (93%) go to state school so that’s no excuse not to get good grades 😂 yes you’d do better at Private but again it’s a tiny minority who have that privilege.

I know. Comprehensive attendee with 4 As at A level here.

I was replying to a poster who said that there didn’t seem to be anyone who was successful due to family wealth - my point is that family wealth helps you out a lot along the way without always being visible.

I left home when I went to uni
I worked & saved my own property deposit
Ive invested my savings into a variety of things over the years & I keep an eye ony finances
I've paid into a pension since my 20s
I am in a good position compared to some of my peers

However, what makes me happy ?

My family & friends, quality time spent together
My good health

Money provides more choice, more experiences

I am grateful

@omafiet Agree - there's no short hours, huge pay until you have a considerable amount of experience / industry credibility under your belt.

In lots of industries you can undercut agencies by two thirds working for yourself and earn more than if you worked for someone else. And I've never known anyone who works for themselves except me, so If isn't a family thing, I just did the numbers and worked towards it. If anything I feel guilty about it but don't know why.

My family post foster care are cleaners / mechanics / carpenters / retail and I am NOT "better" than them, they call them "proper jobs". I was just aware of different opportunities and grabbed every single one I could and worked my arse off to get there.

And if I'm honest - it hurts that 15+ years of hard work won't even my more well of friends' family inheritances or gifted deposits. Unreasonable of me? Maybe, but hopefully understandable.

I wouldn’t say we are rich - but we have a joint income of 150k and approx 100k in savings. I’m 29 and DH is 36. I got good gcses/ a levels and an economics degree (sounds better than how clever I actually am!). DH has average gcses and a levels and no degree. I work as a senior manager in marketing for a law firm and he has worked his way up (same company since leaving school) to now have a relatively senior position and is in their talent pipeline for senior leadership.
Where are you based? Marketing type roles can pay well once you get to management level (5 years ish) when working for an intl company (law, accountancy, bank sectors).

OP what income are you aiming for?

My brother has no GCSEs at all and we both had no family support - he's worked his way up from factory floor to management at a big manufacturer by working 12/14 hour days, sacrificing a social life and putting himself forward for every opportunity available

He is not academic at all but he is determined not to be in the situation we were in foster care and has sacrificed a social life throughout his 20s like I have. His achievements are not academic like mine (uni is etc) but I am so proud of him

Oh wow. An anecdote! That means all the psychological data we have that determines IQ is one of the largest factors (if not THE largest factor) in life outcome and success is wrong!

Seriously you’re using an anecdote as evidence? What does that prove?

Next you’ll be telling me black people have it easy because Oprah is a billionaire.

@Hithere12

Oof that's a kind and considered response isn't it! Apologies, I thought we were allowed to share our personal experience on here but maybe the rules of Mumsnet weren't explained to me correctly!

Thanks for the reasoned response I really appreciate it - it makes me feel fantastic about us having been in care and done OK.

Foster kids having done well doesn't shit on anyone else you know, you just look very mean. Would you rather we had struggled forever and then spoken about that?

It wasn't "evidence" I'm not at a tribunal, it was sharing my personal experience. What a nasty reaction you've shared.

Anyway I hope you're ok and not uncomfortable about people with a different opinion you. I would never take the piss out of someone for that but you have fun

And how on earth I have said success is wrong? I've said that we've both found our own route from foster homes to success and I am proud of him... read the posts properly.

Honestly? When I was young I bought a property. I worked all hours. Now 20years on I can reap the benefits.

Sales

Requires a bit of luck, emotional intelligence, lots of hard work and long hours.

Doesn't require certain education, background or privilege.

But sales has put us in a £££ house, is paying private school fees and has given us a big nest egg.

Both DH and I started to invest when teenagers. We had a really lucky year paid off our mortgage when we were in our mid to late thirties. He has a PhD from Cambridge, I attended a red brick University. We were around top 10% of earners for a lot of years so not in super rich bracket but very comfortable. I paid in to a pension from 21, I don’t mind asking for a discount.

@pinkcardi

Requires a bit of luck, emotional intelligence, lots of hard work and long hours.

Makes perfect sense, and also the knowledge of all opportunities available to you.

Until I knew I could go to uni I assumed someone "like me" from a foster care home on a council state couldn't, for example. I agree with you 100%.

ThatCurlyGirl

But what I’m saying is a fact and this whole “work hard you’ll be successful” cope is keeping people down as it’s justifying huge wage gaps as the ones earning less didn’t “work hard” enough. When it’s largely down to IQ which is 80% hereditary.

You only have to look at the recent thread about someone complaining about how much pilots are paid. 90% of the comments were “the pilot worked harder than you did!! You deserve to be earning barely a pittance” Which is complete bullshit. Only a small percentage of people could dream of becoming a pilot.

I don’t find stories like your brothers inspiring as why should he have to work 12 hour days and break his back just to earn a fair wage? Blaming people for being in low wage work and stigmatising them as “not working hard enough” when others sail through life due to their genetics doesn’t do anyone any favours.

DH and I have recently been reflecting on our financial situation. We consider ourselves very lucky. We earn around 100k basic between us and both do four days a week but have fairly high outgoings (I'm not very thrifty and have a horse much to DH's disgust).

Both degree educated, went into respective careers (civil service and PR) at entry level and in my case moved around until I got pregnant and then stayed put in banking as the money is good so multiple payrises. DH has quietly worked his way up.

We both studied for an extra professional qualification paid for by work along the way. Neither of us will set the world on fire but we have a good balance.