To hate women at work being flirty with male colleagues?

[jennymanara]

I am not talking about women who actually fancy a particular and so is flirty with him. I am talking about women who are flirty with most men they work with. I hate this way of relating, just relate professionally as work colleagues.

No I am not judging young women as flirting when they are simply being friendly. If you are friendly you behave that way to women and men. When you behave a certain way to women, usually standard friendliness, and then different to men, it is flirting. I am not an idiot, I know when women I work with are flirting with men, and when they are just very friendly chatty women.

A lot of young men and women flirt with senior managers to get noticed enough to get a seat on the table at meetings. As they progress further into their careers there’s usually no need to flirt to he noticed and so they stop. It’s rare for it to be any more serious than that and if a more experienced male or female colleague is using the same tactics I’d worry about their competency.

Yes there’s a huge difference between friendly and chatty, and flirting to only one set of people in the workplace - unfortunately still most often senior men.

I’ve found women who do this the least friendly to other women. ‘Men are just so much easier... ‘ etc implying other women are hard to relate to.

It just sets up a big barrier in the workplace for everyone and strokes Male egos.

Men have also flirted with me in the workplace and I’ve had to discuss it with my manager as it’s totally inappropriate. Made me uncomfortable. I dealt with it myself but it’s not just harmless fun.

@Fraggling

Hello blackberry! That's a nice skirt - smile-

Blackberry: OMG you're vile! And furthermore, as you're over 40, repulsive! Go home and hide under a rock, there is no place for you in this workplace.

I think we are at cross purposes. That's just a compliment - not what I'd call flirting!! Flirting is indicating a sexual interest

I'm taking about that sort of flirting where it's not just pleasantries but unambiguous sexual intent in the work place. The sort of thing when you see a woman pawing at a man - hand on the arm, left to linger, long stroke down as they pull away - leaning over a seated man with a low cut top and cleavage knowingly thrust in his face - that's the sort of stuff I'm talking about. I do find it unpleasant and cringe worthy - if it was the other way round it would be treated as sexual harrassment.

I've had conversations with female colleagues about exactly this type of behaviour and been told as I posted above - its' just me, I'm flirty with everyone. It actually means this is the only way I relate to men. They don't behave towards women like this.

I've also heard men talk about this sort of behaviour in a way that makes me feel sick.

Long long I think the thing is, I've not seen that. So it's hard to imagine.

I think of flirting as being smiley friendly chatty showing an interest direct eye contact. Hard to define.

Not like a full on come on.

I think we need videos to see that we're talking about the same thing.

(joke! That would get a bit involved and even more judgemental I fear!)