To hate women at work being flirty with male colleagues?

[jennymanara]

I am not talking about women who actually fancy a particular and so is flirty with him. I am talking about women who are flirty with most men they work with. I hate this way of relating, just relate professionally as work colleagues.

@Longlongsummer - my mother works in the NHS 😱
It's so very sad that people/women still manage to work their way up then ladder this way. I genuinely thought it was unheard of nowadays (I'm not that old honestly).

I've honestly worked in such a male dominated environment for so long and not known this, but would definitely have expected it in my industry.

I'm a bit like this. Not necessarily flirting but more open/bubbly. I just find blokes easier to relax around and more laid back, have always struggled talking to other women. It has nothing to do with attractiveness. I often assume that women will judge me/analyse conversations (as awful as it sounds).

Though actually, it seems I might be on to something..

Whereas many men (massively generalising) will forgot what you've just said precisely four seconds later. So there's less pressure on the interaction if that makes sense..?

They do it as they are, on the whole, the women with lesser jobs and he is a top manager.

I know this because at any work events they giggle like a school girl at DH, ask about his (OUR!) son, and then catch my eye and scuttle off without wanting to be introduced.

^^

This bugs you, doesn't it?

These women with 'lesser' jobs as you say, realise this. They do it to piss you off.

Which industry are you working in op?
And managed?

I have never seen women going silly and giggly at the bosses or being promoted because they're shagging him etc. That's bizarre. I'm in financial sector .

What i have had, when younger, is some men, a small handful, get really quite angry / not like me when i didn't 'flutter'at them (oh you're so clever tell me more while i may my eyelids). In these cases you can't blame women, it's self defence. It didn't do me any favours at all.

YANBU. I find it really hard to have respect for women who are that desperate for male attention - I actually feel sorry for them, and think they probably lack self-worth if they need constant validation from the opposite sex in that way. However, there's a difference between being friendly and being flirty- it's perfectly possible to be really fun and friendly in a bounded way without introducing sex into it.

I mean not doing it didn't do me any favours.

So that's an interesting question. In some cases, are the women doing it, not for promotion, but to avoid demotion / being out the door?
The men hold the power in the situations under discussion.

That's an aside though.

I think some people read motivations that aren't there.

I smile and am friendly to everyone at work. I compliment both the men and the women, as i compliment the women a lot, and thought it was unfair. So if a man comes in with a natty tie or a snazzy new haircut I'll mention it. They often look pleased but confused lol :D

Oh and the other thing in this whole dynamic is that, jme in life and my friends, it's that men always think women fancy them. Even if it's completely ludicrous.

Eg happy married woman age 30 attractive says good morning to bob as she passes his desk every day.

Bob and his mates = 'she fancies you!!!"

I wouldn't hold much store by what men report on this topic, it's another point to remember :D

Tbh if there was a woman flinging herself at all and sundry in the office i think the response would be eye rolling and people laughing behind her back!
Same as for the Male office pests

Women flirt with DH at work all the time and it’s disgusting. They do it as they are, on the whole, the women with lesser jobs and he is a top manager

How do you know for certain that your DH isn't flirting back or entertaining this behaviour? Maybe he enjoys it. Your anger should be directed at him too.

A male manager who hasn’t indulged and enjoyed the flirty nature of some female colleagues

No never come across one

It’s part of being human and how we interact everyone loves their ego stroked one way or another

"everyone loves their ego stroked one way or another"

There's a difference, though, between having your ego stroked by being fucking amazing at what you do, and recognised and remunerated for that, and having it stroked by sexual attention. They are not the same.

I know this happens, but predominantly to Male managers in higher an females. It makes me inwardly feel disappointed in the female and the male race! Groan.

Seedy as hell on both sides and props up the ‘oh silly little female me, who is less able and intelligent and powerful as you higher up than me man, but look! I have these tits...’ groan...
And men...
‘Look at how powerful and virile I am, such a high status alpha male that as well as getting paid loads and being good at my job, I also get to be adored by my secretary / staff, I think they’d all want my children...’

Oh all so yuk and nothing at all to do with nice flirting between equals outside of work.

@Orangepancakes
I just find blokes easier to relax around... I’m not being mean, but if you can still stay that when you are old and unattractive I’d believe you. Lots of my female friends have hit 60 and the ones who loved men are kind of schooled that they’ve become completely invisible now, and suddenly blokes are not easy to relax around, Because they ignore them completely for the younger ones!

It’s almost always an attraction thing.

Shocked not schooled!

it is blatantly obvious everywhere I have worked that the attractive women who flirt with men get promoted more.

I saw this a lot when I worked in the NHS. It's throroughly depressing.

I always got on well with the (mixed) team at work but recently i realise that although i was genuinely funny and still am (!) men dont hear dont listen and dont laugh if you are not flirtworthy in their eyes. You can wise crack for your country and better than the men but in their eyes they are just letting you play. Hashtag not all men

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery me too! I know personally of two women, one who slept with a consultant and one with a very high up NHS Manager, who both got promoted. Everyone knew about it.

verticality

I never said it was the same hence why I put one way or another

And some people are fantastic at their jobs and still have a flirtatious manner

The Fast Show had a character like this. She was a ballsy, hard assed woman when she was with women but as soon as a man appeared she simpered and had a personality transport, became all girly and fluffy.

This is what I assumed the OP meant. I think most people are capable of differentiating between people who are smiley and friendly with everyone, and those who act very differently around the two sexes. I've seen women who behave as described above - admittedly a minority of the women I've worked with, but enough to be noticeable - and it's infuriating as it perpetuates so many negative stereotypes of women in the workplace.

Yanbu.
Personally I find the men who make more effort / take more interest in younger women than ones their own age or older to be annoying.

Longlongsummer has a point. I used to think I had an amazing personality, men used to hang off my every word. Now I am middle aged it turns out I just had perky bosoms and that was why they paid me close attention. Not bitter...

So much woman hating on this thread.
Grow a vagina!

I agree Bedsidedrawer

These poor guys having to deal with all these awful manipulative women

Grow a vagina. What does that even mean?