To hate women at work being flirty with male colleagues?

[jennymanara]

I am not talking about women who actually fancy a particular and so is flirty with him. I am talking about women who are flirty with most men they work with. I hate this way of relating, just relate professionally as work colleagues.

Really depends imo.

I've worked in lots of offices and there has always been lots of flirting. Not from me because I can't flirt to save my life.

I've known a few sleazy men. But often it's just really harmless.

There's a bit of flirting/banter in my office, but it's all in really good humour. I don't for a second think any of the people involved are about to have an affair.

The flirting I'm talking about isn't a power thing between senior colleagues and very young women.

It's general playful interaction between colleagues on a similar band, be it young, old, fat, thin, beautiful, less beautiful.

It doesn't bother me if it happens during their own time, but it is annoying if time is wasted in a meeting while people exchange silly banter; or if it takes the form of whispering and giggling together - it makes me want to tell them to grow up!

Crazy, same in the jobs I've had.

The people who are actually having affairs tend to not indulge in that sort of thing in public ime

The problem comes when someone complains. It may all be seen as harmless fun but a complaint changes that.

The sort of flirting I've seen is general and inoffensive.

Smiling at someone and batting your eyelids a bit (and yes men do this too!) is hardly complainy.

It maybe depends on the office / industry.

I've worked in public and private sector in various roles, I've never seen anything extreme.

Maybe I'm not particularly observent, I don't really care that much what other people are dying iyswim. Not to say I'm not interested in gossip if it comes my way, I'm just not one of those sorts of people who quietly watches and notices stuff. I can be rather oblivious.

I'd notice if someone was sitting on people's laps though I've never seen anything like that. All the outrageous behavior has been out of work hours!

Id hate it if i knew an attractive woman was flirting with my oh at work. Id be seething. However i trust him...why would he want a burger when he's got steak at home?! Lol. On the flip side i have lots of jokey banter with the men i work with,we get on well and have lots of laughs sometimes about inappropriate silly things. Same with the girls. I don't see this as flirting, just makes the day go faster.

When I worked for a large organisation flirting was commonplace, I hate it, 75% of it from women. I used to watch relationships blossom into full blown affairs, they were always surprised everyone knew of the affair. The best one was the woman from Shipping who came back from lunch with grass inside her tights, several times a month.

I love working in a small all female office. Really get on with my colleagues. Would be interesting to chuck an attractive male in there to see if the dynamics would change

We do compliment each other at work - would that seem different (flirty?) if it was directed at a man?

Mm. I flirt/daft banter with everyone at work, men and women. There’s no intention there, I’m happy as can be with my husband, it’s just my personality.
Feeling like this thread is prompted by a specific incident. What’s up OP?

The Fast Show had a character like this. She was a ballsy, hard assed woman when she was with women but as soon as a man appeared she simpered and had a personality transport, became all girly and fluffy.

There is one woman who does it at work. She is 50, attractive. A few guys like it but the younger ones look aghast. Some of the younger temps snigger at her most blatant antics, and take the piss out of her. She looks a bit of a chump, a 70s throwback. I feel embarrassed for her but she's oblivious.

Not in mine. Male and female, we grind grimly on in our individual offices, occasionally emerging to have meetings, drink coffee, and roll our eyes in a rueful comradely way.

I know what you mean. So annoying. I used to work with a woman would stonewall women and flirt with any half way attractive man, even one everybody else knew to be extremely boring. I watched her push water uphill trying to 'engage' him in chat. He gave her nothing to work with at all! Hilarious. She never gave me or my female cilleague the time of day. She only bothered with other women if they were popular with the men. Her own social status waquite neutral iyswim so she only spoke or flirted to those she perceived above her and didnt waste so much as how are you on those she believed were beneath her. Ie, me

Depends if it is blatant all our flirting regularly or just one offs but generally it would piss me off.

DH has some work colleagues that openly discuss their regular sexual exploits with him and it drives me up the wall tbh.

I've noticed this with a work colleague. She's actually quite cold with other women, but will make a huge effort with the straight men (not the gay ones, it's really obvious once you notice!). It's not "i fancy you" flirty, and if she was like it with everyone I'd say she was just very friendly.

we all flirt with each other at work and we all laugh at each other - it’s playful nothing more to it

Can be a very stressful environment at times it’s not inappropriate and helps us enjoy being at work when at times you think wtf am I here

I've worked and do work in male oriented environments, I've flirted because it's fun. I've known they were in relationships and I too and that is definitely all it has ever been (we're not all CFs we have boundaries and respect for ourselves and there other half's).

Their*

No this is not about an individual incident. I am older and it is blatantly obvious everywhere I have worked that the attractive women who flirt with men get promoted more. A lot of men like to have their egos stroked.

I’ve seen some really cringe behaviour. One personal assistant used to make our CEO a special ‘lunch’ every day. Everyone used to roll their eyes about it, he had a wife and kids ffs.

I also had a father who had a high up job and his female staff used to fawn all over him. I remember it even now as a child I would feel uncomfortable. These women being super friendly to me. Yuk.

@jennymanara @Longlongsummer
OMG, are you both working in the 50's ?

I don't like it either. Why is it so necessary to play up to men? I'm friendly with men at work we get on well have a laugh but it doesn't even come to my mind to flirt. I have a colleague I like, she can be lovely but she's very 'arch' & flirty with men. Last week a male colleague said to me & someone else he finds her too full on, sometimes he wants to just get on with stuff or have some peace/space, instead of her commenting every time she passes his desk, with an air of expecting a response.

Sorry, comedic value in my post. I have always worked in very male oriented environments and never known this.

@Littlejets one of them was the NHS! I kid you not.