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God must be playing a really sick joke on me.
128

mothernatureq · 07/08/2019 16:54

This all just seems like one huge cruel joke. I last had sex (unprotected) in January and my period was late 2 weeks later. I did a pregnancy test which was a BFN and then got my period soon after, massive relief. I then moved on with my life, got a new job and moved back in with my DM who is ill. My periods have been like clockwork ever since, and I've had no bump whatsoever.

About a week ago I woke up feeling severely bloated and gassy/burpy. I remember thinking "Jesus christ I look pregnant." Ha. Went on a long walk to try and relieve it and it didn't help. It got progressively worse over the week and eventually I went to the doctor. He felt my abdomen and said I felt like I was in the late second trimester/early third trimester of pregnancy! I insisted it was impossible and he referred me for an emergency ultrasound at the hospital the next day. I went feeling sick expecting them to find a baby size tumor or something.

Nope, just a baby. A perfectly healthy girl, apparently. I'm due around Halloween. This was 2 days ago and it still hasn't sunk in. I've told my DM, who is shocked but delighted. I've told my sister and she has been lovely, but I just feel an impending sense of dread. It feels like someone is pranking me, I got a BFN, I've had periods each month, FFS! Went up a couple of jean sizes but I thought that was just due to moving in with DM and being less mindful of what I'm eating. My doctor says it's more common than people think. I'm not upset I found out way too late for a termination, as I could never have one no matter the circumstances. But I feel I've been cheated out of this gradual bond with my baby during pregnancy etc. Now she's just "there" and I don't know what to do with her.

God knows what I am doing about the father. I met him online, had a bit of a fling (he had just finished with an ex) and then he got back with his ex. Never bothered telling me, just blocked me on everything and when I did a little digging to see why it was because he was back with her. I don't want to tell him, and become a big wrecking ball that is going to ruin his life. And to be frank thinking about him is too much stress for me. He'll probably need telling eventually for baby's sake, but I need to get myself sorted first.

One small mercy is I've found out now and haven't ended up giving birth in the bath with no idea. I don't know why I'm posting TBH, I just needed to get it all out.

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ParkheadParadise · 07/08/2019 19:17

This happened to me mothernatureq
I went to the doctors with a suspected kidney infection to be told I was nearly 5mths pregnant.
I cried all the way home, bought dozens of pregnancy tests. Dd1 was 23 I thought parenthood was over for me.

Everything happens for a reason. Dd2 is one of the best thing's that's happened to us.
Good luck Flowers

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ArgumentativeAardvaark · 07/08/2019 19:21

Wow that’s crazy! Congratulations though! Out of interest, do the doctors have any explanation for the periods? I ask because I have heard before that this is a common reason why women do not realise they are pregnant. But you never ever hear of women who do know that they are pregnant having regular periods throughout.

Best of luck, your daughter is going to be amazing.

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itsabootyhole · 07/08/2019 19:25

Wow what a surprise 💞 congratulations!

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Soozikinzi · 07/08/2019 19:26

Congratulations you're gradually coming to terms with thisIm sure and your family are being supportive so that's great. I'm sure as soon as you see her everything will fall into place.

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Ginandgingers92 · 07/08/2019 19:30

Oh my gosh, congratulations! This is incredible, good luck to you and your little girl! 💕

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YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 07/08/2019 19:30

It will be a massive shock for you, but congratulations! At least you missed out on morning sickness etc. You will be fine.

An ex-pupil gave birth having 'not known' she was pregnant. That was good, considering that we had worked it out about three months before....

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Nanamilly · 07/08/2019 19:30

Blimey, what a shock you must have had but you come across as being a coper, very able, and I wish you nothing but good from here on in.

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Vgbeat · 07/08/2019 19:32

Of course you feel a bit all over the place, I thought I was late realising when I was 10/11 weeks. At lease now you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and sounds like you have a good support network. I would tell the dad though as he may surprise you and want to be involved and by waiting you are taking something away that can be given back, like those early memories. He may take time as well to think as you said yourself your all over he will be the same. I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

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Nanamilly · 07/08/2019 19:32

Sorry, would I let the father know?

Well to be honest at 62 and with a lifetime of experiences behind me I think the answer would have to be no.

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sparklefarts · 07/08/2019 19:36

Well to be honest at 62 and with a lifetime of experiences behind me I think the answer would have to be no

ConfusedConfused your age does not make you right.

Congratulations OP ThanksThanks

I would tell the father sooner rather than later so he has some time to process it before brith too.

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TinyMystery · 07/08/2019 19:38

Congratulations!

I’m a midwife and have booked a few women who were already 24/25/26 weeks just in this last few months so it’s definitely not as uncommon as you might think! Definitely a huge shock though!

Conversely, my mum did have a MASSIVE ovarian cyst and her GP was insisting she must be pregnant because he could ‘feel the baby’. It was the size of a football!

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Nanamilly · 07/08/2019 19:39

your age does not make you right.

No one said it did.

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AloneLonelyLoner · 07/08/2019 19:40

This happened to me. I remember at 5.5 months sitting in a greasy spoon café (after the tremendous news) reading some shit magazine about horses and hounds, flicking the pages and staring into space.

He's now a 23 year old gorgeous bloke. If I'd found out earlier I'd have had an abortion (no doubt on that).

Congratulations! It'll be ok.

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Nanamilly · 07/08/2019 19:44

It happened to my friend who’d had fish for lunch.

She called me to say she’d felt the fish turning over in her tummy.

She was still breast feeding her 3rd child and her fish is now 25.

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Middledistancerunner · 07/08/2019 19:46

I was in the depo injection OP and assumed for the first eight weeks that I was just having a bad reaction to it. Nope, twins. Only took a pregnancy test to make sure the GP couldn’t fob me off with thinking I might be pregnant.
I wish you the best of luck and congratulations.

Some women get terrible morning sickness in the first trimester so hopefully you’ve missed that bit.

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LuckyLou7 · 07/08/2019 19:47

I didn't find out I was pregnant with my 4th child until I was 22 weeks pregnant. I had a coil fitted after DD1 was born, and had periods (or what I thought were periods) every 28 days or so. I went to the GP because I could feel a lump in my lower abdomen - I thought I had a tumour. But no, it was DD2, and she is now in her 20's and has always been an absolute delight.

I am also a registered nurse and felt so bloody stupid when I found out

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SukiPutTheEarlGreyOn · 07/08/2019 19:48

You poor love what a shock this has been for you. But also huge congratulations on your amazing news Flowers. Please don’t worry about early months - whether you find out on month 1 or month 8 getting your head around this news starts from now. Give yourself time and be very kind to yourself.

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Singlebutmarried · 07/08/2019 19:50

Wow.

Enjoy the rest of it.

And look forward to meeting your little girl.

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vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 07/08/2019 19:50

Wow. Keep well.
It'll be fine, you sound like a very sensible type.

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Tessabelle74 · 07/08/2019 19:53

Congratulations 🎊 once you have things straight in your head, contact the father, if only so you can tell your daughter that you did. You can't make him have anything to do with her, but he may well be a brilliant Dad

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Carpetburns · 07/08/2019 19:54

Congratulations OP! You sound like you are in a good position as living with your DM will help you financially and emotionally, as well as having some help with baby. Wishing you all the very best.Thanks

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FlamedToACrisp · 07/08/2019 20:00

Congratulations! Even if it is a shock!

Are you working at the moment? How will you support yourself and the baby after she's born? If you go on benefits, they'll expect you to tell them the father's name so they can go after him for support. Although if you don't want to tell him about the baby, I suppose you could say, "Goodness, I don't know - it could have been any of them."

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LittleKitty1985 · 07/08/2019 20:01

Congrats OP! & don't worry about the missed bonding - the real bonding starts once they arrive and you fall in love. For me it wasn't like love at first sight, it's been like my experience of falling in romantic love - everyday you get to know them a little better and it makes you more entranced and obsessed. It's amazing! Congratulations!

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BrokenWing · 07/08/2019 20:06

Congratulations op, what a surprise.

Personally I'd tell the father. Not for his benefit, but at some point in time your dd is going to want to know her dad, much better for her if she had the opportunity to grow up knowing him. You don't really know him, he might have been a twat for an online date, doesn't mean he'll be a crap dad.

Also financially you should claim maintenance her, if you don't need it save it for her future.

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Serin · 07/08/2019 20:07

Congratulations.Flowers
Sorry to hear that your Mum isnt well. Have you moved in with her to be her carer?

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