This all just seems like one huge cruel joke. I last had sex (unprotected) in January and my period was late 2 weeks later. I did a pregnancy test which was a BFN and then got my period soon after, massive relief. I then moved on with my life, got a new job and moved back in with my DM who is ill. My periods have been like clockwork ever since, and I've had no bump whatsoever.
About a week ago I woke up feeling severely bloated and gassy/burpy. I remember thinking "Jesus christ I look pregnant." Ha. Went on a long walk to try and relieve it and it didn't help. It got progressively worse over the week and eventually I went to the doctor. He felt my abdomen and said I felt like I was in the late second trimester/early third trimester of pregnancy! I insisted it was impossible and he referred me for an emergency ultrasound at the hospital the next day. I went feeling sick expecting them to find a baby size tumor or something.
Nope, just a baby. A perfectly healthy girl, apparently. I'm due around Halloween. This was 2 days ago and it still hasn't sunk in. I've told my DM, who is shocked but delighted. I've told my sister and she has been lovely, but I just feel an impending sense of dread. It feels like someone is pranking me, I got a BFN, I've had periods each month, FFS! Went up a couple of jean sizes but I thought that was just due to moving in with DM and being less mindful of what I'm eating. My doctor says it's more common than people think. I'm not upset I found out way too late for a termination, as I could never have one no matter the circumstances. But I feel I've been cheated out of this gradual bond with my baby during pregnancy etc. Now she's just "there" and I don't know what to do with her.
God knows what I am doing about the father. I met him online, had a bit of a fling (he had just finished with an ex) and then he got back with his ex. Never bothered telling me, just blocked me on everything and when I did a little digging to see why it was because he was back with her. I don't want to tell him, and become a big wrecking ball that is going to ruin his life. And to be frank thinking about him is too much stress for me. He'll probably need telling eventually for baby's sake, but I need to get myself sorted first.
One small mercy is I've found out now and haven't ended up giving birth in the bath with no idea. I don't know why I'm posting TBH, I just needed to get it all out.
AIBU?
God must be playing a really sick joke on me.
mothernatureq · 07/08/2019 16:54
Ha ha that makes sense, I change my username about as often as I change my socks, never occurred to me that someone might have the same one for over 6 years 
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He has no right to be at the birth @pinkunicornsparkles and I’d imagine OP wouldn’t be overly comfortable with him being there either. It was a short fling and he’s now in a relationship too so I’d personally be prepared for him wanting nothing to do with any of it. You can still chase him for CM but it’s almost definite he will request a DNA test first. I’d tell him when the baby was born personally, focus on yourself right now.
Huge shock but it is surprisingly common, my Mum was 20 weeks when she found out about me and a friend of mine found out at 35 weeks. You will be fine, the shock will settle soon and I’m sure you will bond 
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mothernature, many congratulations , that's wonderful news.
I knew someone who was 5.5 months pregnant when it was discovered on ultrasound. She'd been having periods too but had felt weird and unwell for a couple of weeks, hence referral.
She had a gorgeous baby girl, the sweetest little thing you ever saw.
Don't worry about your baby's father right now. There's time enough to think about him, at the moment your priority should be you and your baby.
I'm so glad you have your mum and sister. They must be tickled pink! i expect your mum will be on hand when you bring your daughter home.
You are going to be fine, I can 'feel' it.
I'm honestly amazed to hear how common this is, I've only ever heard of it in the newspapers and thought for it to be newsworhty it must happen once in a blue moon. I felt like some kind of medical anomaly but it's good (well not good as such but you know what I mean) to hear personal stories about other women being in this situation.
I wish she would move more, my doctor says she is healthy but I think if I felt her kick or something then I'd finally get that cold hard shock that this is actually happening. Right now I drift in and out of belief and disbelief, because I know I am pregnant but my body isn't telling me that I am. I found out by other means if that makes any sense.
To the poster who asked about my DM (am too tired to scroll through the thread to @ you, sorry) and why I'm living with her, she has a chronic illness and she needs a bit of support day to day. She is still independent but sometimes things get a bit much for her and she ends up in pain etc. I don't really consider myself a carer as it just seems natural but she's really looking forward to baby (think she's trying to reign in her excitement because she knows how shocked I am). We are very close, she does my head in sometimes (
) but I think she's going to be a good support.
I work 4 days a week and I've got a meeting scheduled with my boss on Friday after my shift to tell him. Shitting myself about that but I'm sure it'll be fine. Feel bad as I've been pregnant longer than I've been in the job! I'm 24 and it's a job I had always wanted to do, keep having to tell myself it's not over. Just on hold.
Congratulations OP! Literally amazing news! 
I am sure you will be a wonderful mother.
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Wow! Congratulations! I found out I was pregnant a few years after my husband had a vasectomy and it was such a shock! It didn't sink in for a while and it was very overwhelming. I'd never heard of that happening but now I know it's not unusual at all. I worried about money, space in the house, work, etc but I have to say my surprise baby has enriched my life more than I can say. She turned out to be the BEST surprise in my life. Congratulations! (Don't worry about if and when to tell the father yet; that's not a priority. You can decide on that later.)
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