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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this neighbour is absolutely gross - WWYD?

80 replies

fluffygown · 07/08/2019 09:31

New neighbours moved in about a year ago. Noise started soon after. Constant screaming and shouting at each other, swearing at the top of their lungs. Loads of banging, sounding like they were killing each other. It was making my life a misery and woke DC up at night several times because of the noise. I went round (nearly had a heart attack in doing so) and asked politely if they could keep the noise down. Mother blamed it on her autistic daughter and said she would keep noise down. Thing is I hear the mother shouting more than the daughter. Noise went on and on and on. So I complained to the council as their house is the only council house in the road. Council sent someone round and said they realised the noise was a problem but also said they couldn't do more because of autistic daughter. Since then, mother has either blanked me when I've seen her or muttered swear words under her breath even in front of my DC.

2 months ago a used sanitary towel landed in my garden. Gross!!! I decided to ignore it thinking it was thrown over by daughter. Other bits of rubbish also appear in my garden that never did before they arrived. Now a full pair of blood stained pants complete with used sanitary towel has appeared in the middle of my garden. Absolutely disgusting! What am I meant to do with this? Put it in bin and not mention it or throw it back over fence.

WWYD? All my other neighbours are lovely. This particularly neighbour is just disgusting, I've never encountered anything like this. Noise has escalated again. Should I complain to council again? The mother looks so rough, I wouldn't put anything past her. Help! Confused

OP posts:
Thehop · 07/08/2019 09:34

Can you move? Honestly these people just don’t seem to be able to co exist happily.

HullabBalloo · 07/08/2019 09:35

Of course complain the council! Envy

Malbecfan · 07/08/2019 09:39

Definitely complain to the council. I would put a note through their door and indeed other close neighbours thanking one for their recent gifts and pointing out that blood contains DNA so it's very easy to trace where it came from but then I am like that.

happinessischocolate · 07/08/2019 09:40

Could you record the shouting, then complain to the council again and make it clear that it's the mother who is shouting.

I would be tempted to lob the stuff back into her garden but how about setting up cctv and then you would have additional proof for the council of unsociable behaviour?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 07/08/2019 09:42

No chance it's a fox raiding bins..........?

MarthasGinYard · 07/08/2019 09:42

How utterly gross

I'd call council again and report to that non serious police line. It's AS behaviour and I'd be livid.

Pennyandthejets · 07/08/2019 09:46

That's horrible.

Tbh I would be tempted to knock on at a time when the road is busy (maybe 5/6pm?). Politely and loudly ask your neighbor when they answer the door whether the used sanitary items are theirs, and perhaps return them all whilst smiling.

Basically, embarass the hell out of her - she deserves to be called out for this.

Original poster
fluffygown · 07/08/2019 09:51

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff I do have foxes in the garden and thought this might explain the random bits of rubbish from recycling bins but who would leave a used pair of pants in a recycling bin? Also rubbish has only appeared since they have lived next door.

OP posts:
Original poster
fluffygown · 07/08/2019 09:52

Thanks @Pennyandthejets Fear she might actually throttle me if I did this Confused

OP posts:
Isatis · 07/08/2019 09:52

If the noise is the mother shouting at the daughter, raise it with the council as a safeguarding issue.

MrsCasares · 07/08/2019 09:54

CCTV trained on your garden, then you will have evidence.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/08/2019 09:55

I would be putting up CCTV immediately to record what's really going on.

Howlovely · 07/08/2019 09:59

Urgh that is really grim. People like this are foul. You shouldn't be scared of them, they should be scared of you reporting them to the police, council and social services. That poor girl doesn't stand a chance with a mother like that.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 07/08/2019 10:03

Report OP and keep reporting...Council..enviromental health.your MP ,social services anyone who will listen..You should not ever have to put up with this filthy, vile behaviour. Keep a diary of incidents and yes cctv would be really good to invest in too ....really sorry this is horrible.

zafferana · 07/08/2019 10:03

I'd complain to the council again, keep a note of every incident (inc. photos of anything thrown over your fence), and install a CCTV camera that covers the boundary. This family are clearly used to intimidating others into silence, but I suspect they've been 'nightmare neighbours' elsewhere, before you got lumbered with them. Keep complaining and you might one day get rid of them.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 07/08/2019 10:04

Also have you spoken to any of the other neighbours ..they too might feel the same as you and could possibly add weight to support you.

NoWayDidISayThat · 07/08/2019 10:06

CCTV plus phone council.

Stressedmummyof4 · 07/08/2019 10:07

I am so sorry you are having trouble with your neighbors. Just a question out of curiosity especially as you say the mother shouts at her daughter all the time. Does the daughter look to be of an age where she has possibly just started her period? I ask this as a mother to an autistic child and am aware of sensory and hard to process things? I wonder if the child is struggling and possibly dumping these things in fear or actually doesn't know how to process what's happening to her body, these children are aware that you would put a bloody plaster in the bin maybe doesn't realise that you would wash pants maybe panicked and threw out of a window? It's very tough and yes I do raise my voice at times my biggest issue at present is my sons loud noises and I know it must be driving my neighbors mad. I am constantly telling him no and to stop it's exhausting unfortunately he doesn't even realise he's doing it Sad. I'm not really sure how you would address it with them as she sounds very unapproachable. I hope that things become better for you and your family soon Thanks

ISmellBabies · 07/08/2019 10:07

Nothing, it's evidence of harassment against you. Call the police and call the council again. Take photographs and note the time and date of everything that comes over the fence.

Vesperia · 07/08/2019 10:10

how old is the daughter? I wonder if the products are her's & she's embarrassed to speak to her mother about accidents or know how to dispose of items correctly

Stressedmummyof4 · 07/08/2019 10:13

@Vesperia that's exactly what I was thinking too x

Original poster
fluffygown · 07/08/2019 10:23

Thanks @Stressedmummyof4 and @Vesperia Daughter is a teenager and I did think this the first time - that the daughter may have thrown it over without the mother knowing. So I chose to ignore it then especially as it had landed on the other side of fence by teenager's window. This latest pair of pants is right in the middle of the garden Confused

OP posts:
Stressedmummyof4 · 07/08/2019 10:30

@fluffygown I'm guessing if her window it nearby it's probably given it's coming from her. Which is awful for you and your family having to find, but I can imagine that it must be awful for her not knowing what to do and possibly not feeling able to approach her own mum to ask. Feel quite sorry for her too in this situation.

I'm still not really able to offer you any advice how to address it though. Is the mother completely unapproachable or do you think she's at the end of her tether? X

Shimy · 07/08/2019 10:33

Make sure you take photos as evidence every single time!

SummerInTheVillage · 07/08/2019 10:37

I agree keep calling the police and the council. Take photos of the stained STs and pants as proof.