To think this neighbour is absolutely gross - WWYD?

[fluffygown]

New neighbours moved in about a year ago. Noise started soon after. Constant screaming and shouting at each other, swearing at the top of their lungs. Loads of banging, sounding like they were killing each other. It was making my life a misery and woke DC up at night several times because of the noise. I went round (nearly had a heart attack in doing so) and asked politely if they could keep the noise down. Mother blamed it on her autistic daughter and said she would keep noise down. Thing is I hear the mother shouting more than the daughter. Noise went on and on and on. So I complained to the council as their house is the only council house in the road. Council sent someone round and said they realised the noise was a problem but also said they couldn't do more because of autistic daughter. Since then, mother has either blanked me when I've seen her or muttered swear words under her breath even in front of my DC.

2 months ago a used sanitary towel landed in my garden. Gross!!! I decided to ignore it thinking it was thrown over by daughter. Other bits of rubbish also appear in my garden that never did before they arrived. Now a full pair of blood stained pants complete with used sanitary towel has appeared in the middle of my garden. Absolutely disgusting! What am I meant to do with this? Put it in bin and not mention it or throw it back over fence.

WWYD? All my other neighbours are lovely. This particularly neighbour is just disgusting, I've never encountered anything like this. Noise has escalated again. Should I complain to council again? The mother looks so rough, I wouldn't put anything past her. Help!

CCTV and keep complaining to the council, it’s all you can really do.

No the behaviour isn't normal, verticality,however often the behaviour of my severely autistic child wouldn't be seen as "normal" either he constantly throws things out of the window, although I do try and stop him and we have window locks on every window , strips off and does all kinds of stuff that,s innaprropriate, if it's the neighbours daughter that is doing this the mother might not be aware ,shouting and screaming obviously isn't on but I can see how it happens when s omeone is at the end of their tether .

OP: she looks at me like she wants to kill me!! No joke! At times we've passed in the road I've been scared that she may actually lunge at me while muttering under her breath 'you f bitch!' She's utterly unapproachable.*

So this is your impression of her - not what she has actually done.

The mother looks so rough, I wouldn't put anything past her.

You already have her hung, drawn and quartered don't you OP?

So you've never even tried to have a conversation with her? I try not to judge on first impressions - it turns out many many people are nicer than I first thought when I actually spoke to them.

My neighbour across the road might have thought I looked 'so rough'. I often do. Parents with children with ASC don't always have the time to primp and preen. However, she asked me how I was. And it all spilled out. I sobbed. I really was not coping. And it was her that managed to get me to make an appointment for the doctor to go back on antidepressants. She also made me make an appointment at her hair salon and gave me a free cut and blow dry. Little acts of kindness like that can be an enormous lift.

A mum who is slightly lifted will cope just that little bit more and is likely to be less shouty. That camel may just be able to manage a few more straws.

Dontfuckingsaycheese absolutely bang fucking on!

I missed the little gem about the Mum looking "rough". Fucking hell.

I probably look rough as arseholes most of the time, because I don't prioritise my looks over parenting.

If this mum is on her own, dealing with meltdowns through the night (therefore not sleeping!) and being judged on a daily basis, no wonder she "looks a bit rough". Life is fucking hard for her!

We don't even know if it is the daughter throwing things over. It could just as easily be the mother. One thing is certain, it's not Reynard.

OP mentions in her first post that the mother sometimes swears under her breath at her. This isn't OK, regardless of whether her daughter is autistic or not. She also mentioned having spoken to the mother about the noise. It did not reduce and OP realised that the majority of the noise came from the mother, not the daughter. That's when she went to the council, it was a safeguarding concern.

It really doesn't matter what the circumstances are, OP should not have to accept biohazardous waste being thrown into her back garden and being sworn at in the street.