To think it's mean when people on here proclaim that gaving children isn't a right?

[malificent7]

Normally uttered by comfortably off fertile people with about 3 children and aimed sometimes sneeringly at less well off women ..or women with difficult circumstances.
Aibu to think that having children may not be a right but it is a biological imperative for many; like most animals we are designed to reproduce.
Btw...i am very happy with my 1 and only dd so this is not to do with me.

tbh I consider my own biological urge to have a children to be a form of insanity.

As this line is generally only wheeled out when discussing why people shouldn't go through with any form of assisted conception, I don't think yabu.

Namechangerextraordinaire1

I don’t agree. IMO, it’s true nobody has a right to have children - there is no right in law, and adults can’t enforce such a “right” against any government or other body in society. Anybody who goes through infertility long enough has to face up to this fact eventually.

Speaking as someone who suffered recurrent miscarriage (lost 7 pregnancies), had surgery and IVF. I had to face up to this after the 4th miscarriage!

@MontStMichel Oh yes, I understand that it isn't a right, my point was more that it's usage is often in a not very sensitive way and for that reason agree that OP is NBU to think it is mean for people to say it.

I will concede then, that I very rarely hear it in any other way than I mentioned above. The factuality if it is of course correct, but I felt that wasn't the main gist of the AIBU.

If you are still trying to conceive then i wish you luck. We have been trying for several years now and have also been down the ivf route, although we are quite fresh to it so haven't had any transfers as yet. Must have been hard for you

I wonder if the real problem is that we are too willing to bang on about rights in general when it isn't appropriate

Namechangerextraordinaire1

Thanks, I did have a successful pregnancy with IVF, but we were about to give up as we could not take much more. Good luck to you; IVF is not easy!

I wonder if the real problem is that we are too willing to bang on about rights in general when it isn't appropriate

Agreed. I've often seen this on threads where the OP is very clearly already struggling and it just seems completely unnecessary. I think posters know it's not needed and unkind but hide behind the 'ITS A FACT THO' shite.

@bagsbagsandmorebags and @SnuggyBuggy I agree with you. Hit the nail right on the head. It's hardly news to anyone I know, but people on the internet are rude and say things they generally would never say face to face. I would hope if most people met someone irl who was clearly struggling and was hurt by people saying things like this, they would try to be a little more empathetic!

@MontStMichel oh that's lovely to hear, congratulations. We have done the fresh cycle part but I overstimulated so couldn't have a transfer - we are gearing up for a frozen cycle now. Hopefully it will be a success 🤞

No i do not think we should spend all the money maintaining elderly people.

Are you actually suggesting elderly people should be denied lifesaving treatment and simply told to accept their time's up???