To think that men shouldn't come into breastfeeding rooms

[Lycidas]

I occasionally use the John Lewis feeding room (mainly for the delightful motion of the rocking chair), and I've noticed that men tend to enter quite often in order to chat to their partners, even when there are other women feeding in there. There are three chairs in total. The feeding area is separated from the wider changing room by a curtain, which suggests that there should be some degree of privacy for self-conscious women.

Fair enough, the men who tend to go in will make a conscious effort to just face their partners, but I still find it mildly uncomfortable to have them in there, and a distraction from the whole experience tbh, looking up, covering just 'in case', which I don't particularly want to be doing in a changing room. If I wanted to be faffing about with a muslin I may well just feed outside as normal.

AIBU?

I don’t think all-or even most-men are perverts. I just think that women who prefer, for religious or cultural reasons. or simply as a matter of personal preference, to breastfeed without men present has a perfect right to do so. Simple as that.

reasons to breastfeed without men

Hi all

Can we have a bit of peace and love, please?

I think most women feel more relaxed in an all female breastfeeding room and feeling relaxed will mean "better" feeding.

Never been a breast feeder but will support women who want breastfeeding rooms to be a female-only space.

They dont have a 'right' to breastfeed in public without men and john lewis is in public. If they really want to make sure theres no men they need to go in a toilet cubicle and lock the door or go home... BUT ido think men should be considerate of women breastfeeding and not just go and stand near breastfeeding women, on the off chance that some might feel uncomfortable with that. But no one has a right to any public space over someone else! I mean it's up to john lewis really and unless they have designated the breastfeeding rooms a female only space then it is not a female only space.
And I doubt t theywill designate it as a female only space for the reasons I mentioned above, that there may sometimes be a legitimate need for men to be in it... and as they are catering to their shoppers, the majority of whom would acknowledge that need, they are unlikely to designate it a completely female only space.

I don't understand this thread at all.

If a woman is happy to feed publicly/in front of men/husband, there are hundreds of comfortable options. If a woman wants some privacy to feed, her options are stay at home or go to a public toilet?

That is libelous and if it is not retracted I will be taking action

Oh seriously. Just report the comment if you don’t like it.

Half the adult population have breasts. If we free our breasts on the beaches, in pools and in parks on a warm summer’s day, this will become a non issue. We (women) perpetuate this problem by making out our breasts are a secret mystery. Free the nipple = problem solved.

Bloody hell Kavanagh QC on here. Look out for your writ in the post, placemats. The purple crayon should make it quite easy to spot, aye.

@JacquesHammer

I have. Any action I take would be against MN. As they have allowed a libel to remain public following a report. As tracing @placemats is nigh on impossible.

And it's not just 'not liking' it is founded on absolutely nothing and is genuinely vexacious and unpleasant.

Can’t be libel when you haven’t been identified by name Bibijayne.

I’m sorry you’re making yourself look an utter ninny.

It’s an anonymous forum. How on earth can something bother you that much? You don’t know then, nobody knows you.

Quite frankly you need to get several grips.

Bibi you have no concept of women who for cultural and religious reasons may not want a man in their space to feed their child.

Because it's about the baby you posted 14.32 to InTheHeatofLisbon

It's not just about the baby. The mother is supplying the milk and for cultural and religious reasons she may well want to feed her child without a man being there.

You also counterpointed that men have been trying for years, your dad did this 35 years ago, for a space for men to take care of their child.

To start up with.

Not really... they could also use a cover up shawl or take their chances with a breastfeeding room as they will be sat in a chair in there and it is less likely men will be in there than they will be in the shop and any man who is in there will be with another breastfeeding woman... so it's not going to be as bad for them as trying to feed inany other place.
I guess a breastfeeding room is the middle ground.. it's not as private as a toilet cubicle pr home but it's not as public as just out in the open... there might be a man in there on the odd occasion but not as often as there will be just outside, and it will be a man who knows women in there are breastfeeding and is also with a breastfeeding woman.. so he will be unlikely to stare or be rude etc... it's the middle ground for mums who arent confident enough to feed completely out in the open... mums who are confident to do that but need so somewhere comfortable to sit perhaps because they are injured or their baby moves about a lot or they have twins etc..... it's trying to be a space lots of people find useful...it cant do that if it has strict rules then it only helps a small group of people..

Ha ha ha at the libel of your anonymous user name

I agree this thread is weird.

Can't we ask some normal men what they think? I know my dh would rather die than go behind some curtain and plonk himself down next to a bf-ing woman all in the name of "supporting" me. It would be horribly rude and ill mannered. He would much sooner mooch round the tech stuff for a bit. I am quite sure that 99% of blokes are exactly the same.

So women like me who do not want our breasts seen in public just need to get over it?

This isn't about unisex parent facilities though Bibi

To think that men shouldn't come into breastfeeding rooms? is the title of the OP.

Okay? Can we agree to disagree? Peace and love and all of that. Genuinely.

IrmaFayLear I agree. Most men are really not entitled arseholes getting bent out of shape at the notion that somewhere there's a tiny space containing three chairs that they can't go into.

@krisskrosskriss women aren't "a small group of people"!

@ArgumentativeAardvaark libel can be libel through jigsaw identification. Which based on this and other threads would be fairly easy to do.

then it only helps a small group of people..

You mean women who are breastfeeding? The people it's designed to help..

So women like me who do not want our breasts seen in public just need to get over it?

No not at all, we can also go home or use a toilet cubicle

Well yes... if you dont want your breasts to be seen at all in public and you are out in public then you will have to go somewhere not public to breastfeed... a breastfeeding room is usually unisex because they arent usually just used for breastfeeding they usually have other feeding facilities and changing facilities etc which anyone of any gender might want to use
You can try and demand that there are breastfeeding rooms which are female only but you wont get very far with shops because they already have female only cubicles in toilets and they will tell you to go there because they arent going to spend money on making a multipurpose space have less purpose and then having to build extra spaces on unisex spaces as well.

I have a question for people here, if the changing table is in the feeding room, is a man not allowed to change his baby?

Yes true Mhysasa, it is not why I gave up, but it certainly did not help.