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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheer me up MN. First world problems galore

30 replies

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2019 22:37

I’m on holiday in Italy at lake Garda.

Lucky me I know.

BUT the day before we came I had to have a biopsy on my fanjita so I can’t swim or have sex. I’m also in quite a bit of discomfort and DS keeps launching himself at me and also begging me to take him on water slides and I cannot.

I can’t sleep and DH is snoring. Attempted to have sex with him earlier (before the snoring) and think I have done myself irreparable harm. 😕

Also DS had the mother of all
Melt downs because the kids in the villa behind us caught about 30 lizards and were keeping them in a plastic box in the heat. DH had words with the “lively” German parent who drink a full bottle of rum for breakfast (not joking) and now I think there may be an international incident.

I cannot sleep due to DH snoring and also feeling like a fly fisherman has caught my fanjo.

AIBU to think this is not the best holiday even though I appreciate we are very lucky to be on holiday?

OP posts:
timeforakinderworld · 05/08/2019 22:39

Ouch! That does sound painful. Hope it feels better tomorrow.

timeforakinderworld · 05/08/2019 22:39

I cannot sleep due to annoying beetle in my bedroom that I can't catch and a snoring dh.

BlackeyedGruesome · 05/08/2019 22:39

That sounds really shit for a holiday. Make dh take the kid to the water park while you rest in a cafe with delicious pizza/ icecream etc.

BlackeyedGruesome · 05/08/2019 22:41

I can't sleep as D's is still bumbling about being pissed off with me.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/08/2019 22:41

I'm sorry, op, but I can't stop laughing! The international incident, lizard-gate, and your poor fanjita are the makings of an epic holiday. I hope you feel better soon!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 05/08/2019 22:42

Delicious pizza and ice cream sounds like a plan. Have been going to bed for a nap each day on the afternoons but cannot she’s the feeling that could have saved a lot of ££ and taken self to travelodge for a snooze 😂. Still DS is happy and weather is nice. Just feel a bit short changed this year. Plus sleeping next to dying walrus are s no fun

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 05/08/2019 22:43

Yes aqua I don’t think it’s one I’ll forget 😂😂

OP posts:
Snowfalling · 05/08/2019 22:48

I snorted with laughter throughout your op.

Come on, this stuff is pure comedy gold!! Get writing that screenplay woman!! Where could you be this time next year? On chat shows being interviewed about your new sitcom, with an intact foof?

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 05/08/2019 22:53

Ha Phoebe thingy-Waller watch your back 😂 off to bunk down with DS as I can take no more of DHs dying sea lion impression

OP posts:
Snowfalling · 05/08/2019 23:00

Catgirl, you've got to write the sitcom, it's practically writing itself. You can call it 'Fanjita's Holiday'. You're welcome xx

Isittheend · 05/08/2019 23:04

So sorry OP.
My worst holiday ever was in Greece. Didn't know I was expecting DS. (Was waiting to start fertility treatment!) I had morning sickness (but thought it was food poisoning) the runs and thrush!! Awful!!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 08:19

That sounds awful isittheend

But a lovely outcome finding out you were pregnant Thanks

I’m hoping for a calmer day with no lizard issues...

OP posts:
Zebraaa · 06/08/2019 08:20

Were the lizards set free??

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 08:23

We believe so (and have told DS they were). When they had all gone to bed DH had pike around their garden looking for the container to make sure (or set them free if they hadn’t been). DS was absolutely heartbroken seeing them crammed into this box. He’s been watching them all week and loves them. I found it very upsetting too the poor little things. Hopefully DHs stern words with the parents will stop the little brats collecting them ☹️ Though I’m not holding my breath

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 08:24

Poke not pike

OP posts:
AlfieandAnnieRose · 06/08/2019 08:28

I was told to wait 2 weeks before having sex when I had the same thing done to my fanjo 🙈 Ouch!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 08:29

The consultant said a couple of days but having attempted it last night I’m thinking a couple of years might be more like it 😩

OP posts:
Gingernaut · 06/08/2019 08:37

I've been provisionally offered one job and I'm gearing up for an interview for another job I don't really want.

Weezol · 06/08/2019 08:39

'A pike about' would be an appropriate phrase where I live ("What's tha piking at? Get tha neb out o next door's garden").

DH may be a walrus, but I admire his Steve Backshall like night time quest in defence of the freedom of lizards. There's a man who deserves a head torch for his next birthday.

If you have access to a fridge, put a clean pair of knickers/sanitary towel in it for an hour or so, or wrap in a plastic bag and put in an ice bucket prior to wearing. Oh the relief!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 08:42

I have forgiven him for snoring due to his brave attempts at lizard liberation 😂. We do have a fridge - off to stick my bikini bottoms in it now 🥶

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 06/08/2019 08:43

Omg have you any concept of how lucky you are? I haven't had spontaneous sex since the Gordon Brown administration. You fancy your husband and want to shag him, millions would swap with you. Two weeks? We go two years round here.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 08:46

Millions might change their mind listening to his post coitial chorus 😂

OP posts:
Greeborising · 06/08/2019 08:48

You poor thing! It sounds like most of your problems stem from your fan situation, I hope it feels better soon.
The lizard thing really annoyed me.
I once approached some parents cos their kids were catching jelly fish and laying them out to ‘dry’ on the rocks.
I got told they were doing us a favour and to “mind your own fucking business “ 😳
Same family were later asked to leave (private beach) due to alcohol induced brawling 😁
Lake Garda is beautiful, try to enjoy the good bits and pamper yourself

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 06/08/2019 09:20

Thanks Gree. I’m actually glad I had the biopsy before we came away as the consultant wasn’t concerned and did it as a precaution. If I was still waiting even though I’d be able to swim etc I’d be worrying myself sick and not enjoying myself so on balance everything is very good and I’m very happy. Apart from about the lizards 🤬. How people can let their children be cruel to animals (or jellyfish) is beyond me. They were back again this morning with their nets but got short shrift and left thankfully. 😡

OP posts:
HerkyBaby · 06/08/2019 09:22

I have a holiday rule that both husband and child know is written in tablets of stone. I will not get any of my hair wet before lunchtime..... this means that i get to “relax” with books, pizza , drink etc when on holiday - Quite simply OP the rules you lay down now will pay dividends in years to come so maybe the fandango thing might be a future blessing in disguise.