To expect able bodied pedestrians to be tolerant of ds if he walks into them

[handlemecarefully]

3 year old ds is very independent, and I allow him to walk along the pavement without holding hands (his preference) - unless of course it's a very busy pedestrian thoroughfare where allowing him to 'free range' across the pavement would constitute a nuisance (then he has to hold my hand)!

However in a small market town during the week when it's quite quiet I allow him some measured freedom.

Basically my approach is to be vigilant in case an elderly / frail or disabled person is approaching and I would intervene to avoid him getting under their feet in those circumstances, but otherwise I urge him regularly to 'mind out' or 'look where you are going' - but not every 20 seconds since I am not a drill sargeant major.

So occasionally an adult may need to step smartly aside (when he isn't concentrating) - in which case I smile and apologise.

Is this reasonable do you think?

He bumped into an irritable cow (aged 30's?) this morning and got told in shrill voice "Watch where you are going!"

I think some people forget they had to learn to walk.

you're right there.

No. YANBU. Some people simply don't like kids I think.

its as much their responsibility to watch where they are going as it is yours to watch where he is going. if they bump you are equally to blame imo

I'm torn .. I'm not sure whether it is reasonable if I'm honest

its all very well giving them free reign but only if they're able to not barrel into people

so if its a one in a million chance that he got in someone's way then you probably are being reasonable

but if people have to step aside every time you go out then I rather think you are being

YANBU at all sounds as if you have the right idea will copy your approach when DD starts staggering.

Very sad when people cut others no slack whatsoever - agree with 2 shoes we've all been there

remember he's your child and your primary concern .. nobody else on the pavement feels the same they have their own thoughts and desires and aims and issues so honestly if I'm out on my own and a child barrels into me (not saying yours does this) because the parent happens to believe in their free expression rather than its just an accident and they didn't see me then I'd be rather narked

and I have a 3 year old too so its not like I've forgotten what its like

She was probably being a bit waspish to snap at your son. But I do think that if you choose to let him run free-range then you have to watch him and make sure he's not bumping into people - and if that means you have to ask him to watch where he's going every twenty seconds then that's what you have to do.

Hi handle. What you say sounds reasonable on the face of it, but I do think that you are being POTENTIALLY unreasonable.

This is because you can't always tell who has a disability by looking at them. Sometimes, if there is a wheelchair or stick in obvious evidence, you can see that they are disabled. But sometimes, people can be in pain, or seriously destabilised by a tot bumping into them, and there is no visible evidence that that is the case.

I understand both sides tbh. When mine are in town with me they have to hold my hand or be in buggy - and i find it annoying when other parents let their kids wander around, esp if am in a rush as i usually am with my large brood .

In the circumstances you say about thought i think YANBU, and i definately wouldnt say "Watch where you are going" to a LO

There are a lot of serious/painful conditions like this.

Of course she might have just been irritable. No way of telling.

Ummm I generally agree with you on most things Twig but not on this one. He doesn't barrel into people most of the time, just occasionally, and I think it is a bit unfair on him to restrict him against his will when he represents at the most only a very minor inconvenience.

I don't think my 3yr olds bumped into people very often. It might have happened occasionally if they were watching something other than the pavement in front of them. But I'd always apologise and I'd usually get a smile in response. Might have been different if they'd knocked someone over.

i find if i go out with the pram i am forever having to stop sharp so i dont run into people. but they dont stop, i have to because i will do the greater damage. it really annoys me tbh. if a small child collides with an adult i dont see why it is automatically the fault of the child. i think whoever idsthe most agile should move - so me with pram, small children, old people and disabled people should not have to be the ones who avoid other people.

Quattro - she was walking quite quickly and purposefully so I suspect she didn't have any hidden pain or discomfort

well I don't even think it matters if people are disabled its not like its a 'my condition beats your youth' thing .. although I know what you mean because DH can be in immense pain from a toddler tap due to his condition

I think it is fair enough that people should be unimpeded in their outings by someone else's child

but I refer you to my previous posts where I say I'm not sure and it really does depend on the situation

its just always been a concern of mine that I ever come across as one of those parents who feel their children are the centre of the universe and everyone else should make way so I think I probably go a wee bit far the other way

If it really is only occasionally then you won't sound like a drill-sergeant if you warn him that he's about to bump into someone - you'll sound like someone who cares about what her son is doing and who doesn't want him banging into people.

I still have to warn my 6 year old sometimes that she's in someone's way - if you see it (and you ought to, if you're watching him) then isn't it considerate to try and do something about it?

HMC that doesn't hold water I'm afraid .. DH walks much quicker than I do because that's his comfortable pace and if he slows down its much more painful for him

I get annoyed if children barrel into me.

They might snot on me.

I'm not saying restrict him but it is your responsibility to watch where he's going and teach him to not get in other people's way .. maybe?

But it's impossible to be entirely unimpeded by other people unless you are going somewhere totally remote and empty. There are always going to be people slower than you, or faster than you trying to get past on the pavement, or people in wheelchairs or with pushchairs and people who block the whole pavement with their buggies and talk. It's just the way it is. And small children learning to get about independently are just another of those things. Unless you walk about with your eyes shut it isn't going to be that much of a problem surely.

It sounds to me as if the woman was simply in a bad mood and not prepared to be messed with.

we have rules when out

hold my hand or else [hard stare]

unless in the park where they can run around where they wish

so I think YABU

and if he walks into someone does he get admonished and then restricted so its reinforced that he shouldn't do it again

YANBU. I live in a small market town and operate the same policy of weekday freedom to roam.

However, I had a smilarly upsetting experience a few days ago when my DD1 bounded into a cafe and was very excited to see me. I was just about to ask her to keep the noise down when a woman nearby shouted "Shut up!". She had been inconvenienced for all of five seconds.

I was cross and said, "I was just about to ask her to be quiet" but later on I forced myself to believe that Stupid Bloody Angry Woman may have been discussing something really heartrending with her friend in the cafe. I can understand you being cross with your SBAW, but perhaps she had had a truly foul morning and your son was the final straw. I prefer that theory to believing that we're turning into a nation of child haters (which is perfectly possible ).

Patsy

if I ever get to go out without my children I am immensely irritated if I so much as see anybody elses