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Original poster

Boyfriend got someone else’s pregnant when our son was three weeks old (potentially)

117 replies

bgri18 · 05/08/2019 11:01

This is going to be a little long so you will have to bare with me.
Last year when I was pregnant with my son me and my partner broke up... fast forward some months and I'm in labour at the hospital, he turned up and as soon as we had our son everything changed... I didn't get to spend much time with them both because I was rushed to theatre because i was loosing a massive amount of blood, basically I nearly died. My baby's dad aches like the birth of our son and nearly loosing me had changed things and that we was going to fix things and be a family that's together.. things were amazing for three weeks, then just over three weeks I found out he had slept with another girl... we argued things got really heavy to deal with and he didn't see me for about a month and half at all, I ended up meeting someone else and then my son fell very ill and so my baby's dad came back into our life again.. he saw I was moved on and he hated it, it apparently hurt him... so I left who I was seeing and me and my baby's dad sorted things out. We was in an "unofficial relationship" because I didn't want to label it out of fear of him hurting me again... then about a month into seeing eachother I found out that this girl he slept with when my son had barley been born is pregnant... and it's works out to be his.. he was adamant it isn't and tried to reassure me.. well now we are in the present we are fully back together officially and she has had her baby and so I looked at her Facebook to see what her baby looks like.. to only be hurt and find myself in a panic, the baby looks scarily like my son who looks just like his dad, I added her and I asked her if there's any chance it's his and I was really nice and polite, she spoke to me she said that he can have a dna test etc.. I put took a photo of her baby and put in a collage next to my baby's picture to show my boyfriend the resemblance.
He then spoke to her and she told him that she wants it to stay just between those two, she's pissed off that I took a photo of her son off her Facebook account and she's now blocked me. I feel already like I've been pushed out and my feelings are not being considered, if this baby is his then it's everything to do with me! That's my sons potential half brother and my boyfriends baby. I'm obviously in agony over this as it is and her blocking me has made me think something isn't quite right. I could understand if it was some random person that took the photo but I'm just a girl that's trying to find out if my son has a half brother and my boyfriend has another son and also trying to find out for my own mind. I don't know what to do.. if it's his baby, I couldn't ever accept that child and I know it sounds bad but if it's his then that baby is a mistake that should have never been there, me and my baby's dad were suppose to be a new family and planning our future and instead I've got a potential half brother for my son!

OP posts:
Evilmorty · 05/08/2019 14:02

This while situation sounds like syphilis waiting to happen. Bin the loser and any other vampires hoping to start a relationship with a vulnerable woman with a tiny baby and concentrate on your child for a bit.

Bluntness100 · 05/08/2019 14:04

I can see her point. Calling her child a mistake who shouldn't be there is just appalling.

I suggest you and your partner grow the fuck up

HughGrantsHair · 05/08/2019 14:06

Whether he has a relationship with this other child or not, you will never trust him and your life (and that of your child) will be really shitty. Walk away now from all the drama.

TuesdaySunshine · 05/08/2019 14:06

her blocking me has made me think something isn't quite right

There are lots of things that aren't quite right in this picture and the other girlfriend blocking you on facebook is the least of them.

ohdearmymistake · 05/08/2019 14:08

This won't be popular but........ you both sound awful. Stop having sex until you have grown up, learnt about contraction, considerably raised your standards and found some morals.

The way your both going there will be multiple babies with multiple partners.

Take some time out and focus on your child.

LolaSmiles · 05/08/2019 14:14

This is all rather dramatic. Unless there's a massive drip feed the only person behaving like an adult is the other woman who was pregnant. She seems to want to get on with being a mum and protect her child from all this drama (and hopefully will enable contact as appropriate though in this case I don't hold out much hope on the dad giving a damn).

Right now the babies have no concept of siblings. There's nothing to be said. They can be told in due course, and by then I would imagine he'll have another 6 kids scattered around the place.

Meanwhile you need to get on with raising your child and not starting a new relationship when your child is a few weeks old.

leckford · 05/08/2019 14:14

It is very scary how people produce children with the biggest morons around with no thought for the child/s future. What are the schools teaching people?

pepperpot99 · 05/08/2019 14:18

Can't he wear a fucking condom fgs? he sounds like a real moron, and a skank too. Hmm.

Femodene · 05/08/2019 14:23

What a shitshow. The woman’s kid is none of your business, your current boyfriend needs to stop spraying ejaculate round the place like a wild animal. Who is parenting all these kids whilst all the unprotected sex is going on? Why did you let another lover into your life when you were recovering from childbirth? You need to get monthly STI tests if you choose to stay with Mr Jizz, and most importantly, your current boyfriend needs to parent and fund all of his current offspring, and you should focus solely on parenting.

Pretendapony · 05/08/2019 14:26

Your life sounds like a complete car crash. I think you need to just stay single and concentrate on raising your baby. No more random men, no more ‘baby daddy’, no more drama. Just focus on your child. I think you’ve made enough mistakes to last a lifetime.

Pretendapony · 05/08/2019 14:27

And for goodness sake, you all need to start using condoms! These poor children being born into these catastrophic families. They have no hope!

AloneLonelyLoner · 05/08/2019 14:33

You both sound bloody awful.

Gingerkittykat · 05/08/2019 14:35

The ex is right, it is between her and him to sort out whether he is the father and any contact and maintenance without you interfering. You can't just erase this baby because he is inconvenient, he deserves a father just as much as your child, although whether your partner steps up is another matter. A sibling relationship, if it ever happens, is also for him to sort out.

Look at it from her POV, you may not be in the picture for ever, you are probably hostile towards her and she just doesn't want to deal with that.

Do you live with your partner? The whole thing sounds like a mess. Do you live close enough to bump into her in the street and at toddler groups and eventually nursery and school?

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 05/08/2019 14:39

That woman must be regretting getting mixed up with you lot.

Focus on your child and what he needs rather than yourself and any men in your life.

KevinMcCabe · 05/08/2019 14:43

Sorry to hear that. But do you still call him "boyfriend"?

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2019 14:46

Her baby has as much a right to be here as yours. Of course she’s blocked you, back away and leave the poor woman alone fgs.

You’ve made series of awful decisions and taking him back is the one you can now fix. He’s going to keep shagging around, doesn’t seem to use contraception so you know there’ll be more babies in the mix, and seems to have you believing his bullshit.

Never thought I’d say it but won’t someone in this mess think of the children?

Chakano · 05/08/2019 14:47

Neither of you can keep it in your pants, I just pity the child. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have kids.
Aren't there some trailer trash tv programmes you could go on, for your dna test?

Teddybear45 · 05/08/2019 14:48

You are not a wife, OP. You’re a girlfriend and not a particularly serious one either if your bf was shagging other girls while you were pregnant. Your bf’s other kids have nothing to do with you. You need to stop facebook stalking her.

Femodene · 05/08/2019 14:48

kevin , why not? That’s all he is, they’re not married and the word ‘partner’ means nothing. How is the sperminator a ‘partner’ anyway 😂

Purpleartichoke · 05/08/2019 14:52

This isn’t how functional adult relationships work.

Also, your boyfriend is not partner material

A decent man would not have been sleeping with someone else when you were home with a 3 week old.

A decent man would have been at the hospital on day 1, establishing paternity of his child, even if he has no romantic relationship with the mother.

A decent man would be providing the mother of his newborn child with financial and possibly practical support if they could get along well enough for the practical.

You have a child to protect. Make a stabile, happy home your priority. You don’t need a man in your life at all times. Wait for the right guy and then take it slow.

SunshineCake · 05/08/2019 14:54

Horrible to say the other baby is a mistake. Your baby's father is the twat who has spoiled your fake illusion of you being a family. Not the other baby.

LIZS · 05/08/2019 14:58

I suspect KevinMcCabe thinks he should be an ex bf .

cosytoaster · 05/08/2019 15:01

Both you and your boyfriend are behaving very badly.

You should end the relationship, stop obsessing about the other baby (a DNA test is the only way to determine paternity, the whole creating a collage thing is just weird) and focus on your child, without even thinking of starting a new relationship.

Ellisandra · 05/08/2019 15:08

yVanillelle is right - every time!
Honestly, I wouldn’t be interested in my child meeting yours. It’s all a big car crash that I’d want to keep away from. Of course I’d no doubt “do the right thing” because a half brother is a half brother. But right now my gut would be to keep away. I’d be embarrassed having to explain to him what an arsehole his dad was though - I’d feel judged that I’d got pregnant to such a dick.

Forget this woman and focus on minimising your involvement with this loser.

Bluntness100 · 05/08/2019 15:25

Op how old are you all? I'm assuming very young? Do you have parental support?