3 year old granddaughter doesn't like me

[grandmagorgeous]

I wondered if any of you lovely ladies have come across this as I am finding it really upsetting.
I have a beautiful, almost 3 year old granddaughter, who I love with all my heart. I have seen her almost every day since she has been born ( I have a lovely close relationship with my daughter and son in law)! In the past month my granddaughter has decided she doesn't like me. She tells me 'I don't like you' pulls her face and scowls at me. Her parents tell her off for this but it just carries on. I'm finding it heartbreaking. She will sit with anyone but me. She doesn't do this when there is just the two of us. Anyone come across situation before? xx

It's a phase that will pass, exact same thing happened to me with my niece:)

Definitely a phase. She’s testing boundaries and relationships. She not screaming and running out of the room, just saying stuff that she can’t relate to as hurtful.

Smile and say well luckily you love her to bits and were thinking of reading (insert her favourite book ) or having a game of shops.

Just carry on being a lovely grandma.

Definitely a phase, it’s difficult but try not to react, maybe just a “oh well, I like you!” then a distraction?

MatildaTheCat

Smile and say well luckily you love her to bits and were thinking of reading (insert her favourite book ) or having a game of shops.

That’s a lovely way of dealing with it 😊

Smile and say well luckily you love her to bits and were thinking of reading (insert her favourite book ) or having a game of shops.

This!

Like PP I would suggest to respond with a big smile and tell her how much you love her, love to spend time with her etc.
fingers crossed it will pass soon

Don't worry by DD went through a stage of doing that to me at that age - DH and I made sure to tell her how unkind it was and she stopped after a few times

Promise it’s a phase and soon she’ll hate everyone apart from you!

Best advice from my dad is that ‘everything is a phase-they soon grow out of it’

Just hang tight

My three year old GD does the same. She loved me well enough when I took ice lolly moulds round the other day, as well as the ingredients to fill them. I find doing something fun gets us over this a bit. She still wouldn't give me a kiss or a cuddle, but at least we had fun together.

Normal. Please don't take it too personally, as it will pass

Gosh, that must sting.
Perhaps she would be more welcoming if she saw you a bit less often? It would have driven me nuts to see my mum daily.

That's not nice and she needs to be told to stop doing it.
She's old enough to be told to cut it out.

Maybe daily visits are too much and not the best idea.

I'd be upset, and not want to be put in that position. Childish, but you're entitled to your feelings as well. Back off for a bit? Maybe see her once a week, and bring something fun when you visit, so she doesn't take you for granted.

My 3 yo DS delights in telling me “I’m not your friend” “I don’t like you anymore!” And “I wish grandma was my mummy!”

I’m a LP and he is an adored child- I take it as a strength of our bond, and his absolute security in my love that he feels he can safely test it in this way.

Really don’t worry, it’ll pass. She’s working out relationships/ boundaries/ checking security and bonds.

Also- some of the responses here are horribly egocentric and very mean spirited- check yourselves honestly- child development isn’t about gratifying adults, it’s about learning!

Yes it's ok.

One of my grandsons went to anyone but me if there were others around but was fine when we were on our own.

He grew out of it!

Don't crowd her. Wait for her to come to you and speak.

This is normal, don’t let it get to you

Thank you lovely ladies for your replies it does make me feel a little better that it is not only me. Does anyone know why they decide one particular person it the one they 'do not like' x

I have seen her almost every day since she has been born

Is this level of involvement really best for grand daughter, and parents? In some families it is. Others, not.

But by being there almost every single day for 3 years, are you allowing your offspring room to build their family memories, their unit?

I say this as the granddaughter in a similar situation, where my gran thought we were close knit but my mum used to have to hide behind the curtains from relentless daily all day visits, and to this day I don't really have a strong bond with mum because it was always gran plus mum.

More to the question asked... It hurts but it's more likely to be a phase, similar to previous posters experience..

When she reaches her teens she will be treating her parents like that, and you will be the adored grandparent

I did this with two family members when I was around 3, and 25 years later they don't let me forget it . It will pass, it is just a very sassy age I think

She very little, and I wonder whether you are too involved and she feels over crowded and doesn’t have enough space from adults

I'd be sad too. Can you think of anything you do that she might not like. My kids seemed to have a few too many relatives that thought it was ok to hug, kiss or be physical in some way (hair ruffing?) them even though they didn't like it. Some kids don't like being kissed and hugged by people other than their parents. Might it be that?
Alternatively are you too loud or talk too much? My kids also didn't warm to full on gushy types although I know other kids do.
My Mum got on the best with my kids as she would leave them be but play with them when they wanted. For example She would have playdoh out on the table and would play with it and wait for the kids to join her.

Not saying my kids are typical and not suggesting you are too loud or gushy or whatever. I'm just mulling over things that your granddaughter might not like. Having said that I wouldn't be surprised if there was no reason at all and it was just her being 3.
Hope the problem sorts itself out soon.

My ds aged 13 is so close to my parents and has been since he was born. When he was 11 months old I went back to work part time and my mum & dad looked after him for the other days until he went to school nursery then school. He adored my parents and loved going to them. When he was about 2 whenever I met my mum in the street ir out somewhere he would say to her "I don't like you". He never said it when we went to their house or gp's on dh's side. I figured that he said it only when I was him because in his head maybe he thought mum was going to take him from me. Mum used to say to him, "Well, I like you". It lasted a few months. My son is mortified that he he said it now and has apologised to my mum more than once! She just laughs about it and never took it personally.