AIBU for being mightily pissed off that DD's Dad let her play in a river unsupervised?

[cheesemongery]

Off to bed now any way, but this has been playing on my mind.

Daughter's dad dropper her home earlier with an apology for the state of her new jeans - oh, did you put them in with a blue sock I said (they're white) laughing it off.

No she fell in the river whilst playing with his girlfriends daughter who is 11. They were playing in the river already when she fell. They were allowed to go down to the river unsupervised.

She's 10 years old and can manage 25m in a pool at a struggle.

I'm a very strong swimmer and even I know that a bit of weed underneath can catch you unawares.

AIBU for saying she is never to go down the river again with just his gf daughter? I've already told him so anyway.

Anyway just needed to get that off my chest!

When you say river do you mean the Mississippi or a small creek that might be 3 inches deep?

When I think of a river I think of the Thames orthe Humber. No one should be playing in those as there's very strong undercurrents and it's filthy. If you mean a trickling stream I wouldn't get upset about that.

YANBU about the river. Why can your 10 year old not swim?

250+ people die in the uk each year from drowning. Last year about 25% of these drowned in a river or stream. Many of these were adults who could swim well. YANBU

It’s not just about the ability to swim, there is stuff under the surface that isn’t visible, very easy to get caught on an old piece of bike, or even plants.

Doesn’t it depend on the river?

Are you middle class OP?

What has that got to do with anything? Do only certain 'classes' drown or catch Weil's Disease?

It really depends on the state of the river. If it was knee depth or less then yabu.

Yanbu, doesn't sound like it was very safe and rivers can be so dangerous.

“It really depends on the state of the river. If it was knee depth or less then yabu”

Ankle deep. Knee deep can be really dangerous.

Given you say they were playing in the river prior to her 'falling in' it sounds like the river was actually ankle deep and she fell over and sat in it?

According to uk news, no river is safe cos if infection and that’s before you get to the drowning aspect.

I wouldn't allow my 12 year old to play in a river unsupervised and he's a strong swimmer.

YANBU OP.

Bertrand makes a good point, depth is irrelevant really, you can drown in any depth. Hence why being unsupervised isn't very sensible.

Absolutely no idea what being middle class has to do with it? Does that poster care to elaborate?

She obviously survived "falling" in the river fine.
She was supposed to be playing near the river not wading in it.

Are you cross at the dad that he trusted her to stay out or cross at your DD that she "fell in" ignored adult instructions and went in anyway?

@Rosehip10

Are you middle class OP?

Hahaha far from it, council house born n bred, was playing out on streets since 3 years old... BUT Rivers and unsupervised is a no for my daughter.

I've brought both my kids up to enjoy life, get messy get muddy and you haven't had a good day unless you come home filthy

Why do you ask out of interest?

She was supposed to be playing near the river not wading in it.

No - they were sent out to play IN the river - I've since learned her trainers were swapped for flip flops for this purpose.

Like I said last night, no harm came to her, BUT I'd rather this situation hadn't occurred at all.

@lljkk see above - they were sent out with full permission and footwear change to purposefully play in the river.

I'm only 10 minutes away, I know the river - paddling on edge, easily waist deep in the centre.

So yes I'm angry with her dad.

When you say river do you mean the Mississippi or a small creek that might be 3 inches deep?

No I meant the Yangtze sigh

It's a river, it flows through several counties, we often go crayfishing in it i.e throw the net in to the at least 3 foot deep area.

@SofiaAmes quite right. Then Pre-teen DSS said he could swim, mum agreed, PIL spoke about all the lessons they'd paid for. Took him to a local pool and when observing him realised he couldn't even do a width. He was putting his feet down after every stroke. He couldn't swim even marginally at that point yet all the adults around him agreed that yes he could swim. Very dangerous and just shows why adequate supervision around water is necessary.

To the person who asked why she couldn't swim - she can. Like I said 25m in pool, but she has also swan in the sea WITH ME - jumping over waves, swimming over them getting out of depth, even skulling over waves so yes if she can swim in the sea I am confident of her abilities, but not unsupervised.

*swam not swan - no gliding involved!

It's the fact that rivers are full of weeds etc, round here, probably the odd shopping trolley and non end of cans - anything that she could have got caught on could have impeded her.

I'm far from a precious mother, but I do believe in water safety.

I’d brain him! YANBU.

Why can your 10 year old not swim?

Why is this always trotted out on Mumsnet as if it is somehow down to poor parenting?

My 13 year old has only just mastered the ability to swim perhaps 20m after years and years of lessons. We have no idea why she couldn't master it, but she couldn't. And now eventually she can.

I'm in my 40s and very few of my friends can swim competently, and none of my extended family can. I'm a really strong swimmer though.

I've never seen such an obsession with swimming as on Mumsnet. It's not the life saving skill that people make it out to be. A significant number of the people who drown in the UK are either strong swimmers who jumped into water that was too cold (young adult males being particularly bad for this) or people who drown in circumstances where swimming would be of no help Eg in the bath, or falling face down in shallow water and being unable to get up.

why don't people read the opening post at least - OP said her DD can swim.

yes, OP, I would be pissed off.