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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO only pay for DCs uni maintenance for 3 years?

103 replies

OliviaCat · 03/08/2019 23:13

We have always said we would only pay for DCs uni maintenance for the duration of a 3 year degree.

We have three DC, all teens.

The eldest now wants to add a year to their arts degree to do a year "in industry" (literature) which looks to me like an unpaid internship through which she pays the uni more fees.

Aibu to say we will still only pay for three years maintenance?

OP posts:
LittleFairywren · 03/08/2019 23:14

No you've been very generous in funding three years. If she wants more she can pay for it.

Caucho · 03/08/2019 23:15

Depends if you can afford it, or how easily you can

WhyBirdStop · 03/08/2019 23:15

I did a 4 year degree including a year abroad. I worked full time in the holidays and part time term time, to contribute what I could and my parents helped out where they could and I took student finance for the rest. The industry experience will set her apart from the thousands of other arts students so if you can support her, do, but she needs to help herself too.

TapasForTwo · 03/08/2019 23:18

I understand that supporting 3 children through university is a massive financial burden, but given that degrees don't have the same value as they did say 30 years ago, a graduate with a year's industry experience is going to be a much more attractive proposition to an employer than one without (assuming that they both have the same qualifications).

So I would say that YAB a little U.

Will your DC be doing degrees that will allow enough spare time for them to get part time jobs to support them through university?

Watchingthyme · 03/08/2019 23:21

Yes I would pay if I could afford it. If I couldn’t I would help them in any other way I could.
Simple really.

Ilikecurrybest · 03/08/2019 23:24

Initially I’d say no - but having said that has she a clear idea of which part of the industry she would like work in? If it clearly would give her potentially a clearer path to a grad job it may be worth considering as it can be a tricky in the arts. However if this isn't the case or the placement doesn’t seem to result in improved employment for students who have gone down that path previously I’d say no. If she’s really keen for industry experience could she do some summer internships?

SandyY2K · 03/08/2019 23:24

Are you saying 3 years due to financial reasons, or as a matter of principle?

I would suggest your DC get a pt job to support themselves in that year.

I don't the full student loan is given for a year doing an internship.... as the Uni don't charge the full £9250.

HeddaGarbled · 03/08/2019 23:26

What do you mean by maintenance? Did she apply for the loan but you are topping up, or didn’t she apply for the loan at all?

Can she finance it another way or is it a case of if you don’t help her financially, she can’t do it?

How important is it for her future job prospects?

BackforGood · 03/08/2019 23:27

Of course YABU.
Most of us do the best we can for our dc, in the circumstances that present at the time.
Some courses are 3 years, some 4. Come to that, some are 5,6, ot 7.

What would you do if one of your dc wanted to be a medic, or an architect, or a dentist or a vet, or do an integrated masters ?

It's not really clear in your OP - but do you mean make your contribution to top up the loan they can get, or are you saying they are not taking the loan ? IF they aren't taking the loan, that puts a different slant on it, as they have that option. If you are not paying your contribution tough, then I think YABU.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/08/2019 23:27

Do you mean pay all her maintenance or that she gets the loan and you pay the parental contribution part?

Would you stick to this 3 year rule if one of your DCs wanted to follow a course for which a 4 year integrated masters was the norm?

BinkyBaa · 03/08/2019 23:27

You're not obliged to pay more because she's chosen to do it differently. That said, please don't look down on a year in industry/an internship. From my own experience it tends to give people connections to go straight into very well paid jobs versus floundering on graduate schemes unrelated to the degree.

Original poster
OliviaCat · 03/08/2019 23:35

Yes it is the parental top up. We are not well off at all.

OP posts:
Watchingthyme · 03/08/2019 23:40

Then I would look into every way you could help them. Helping with loans. Free rent
Do what ever you can.
Mine did, and it was the only way in to the career I have. I can only thank them for it.

If you can’t afford anything then that’s life. At least give every type of moral support, because you don’t seem to think this is really worth doing

Fairenuff · 03/08/2019 23:51

Why does he not just use the uni maintenance loan instead? That's what my two did. I didn't contribute at all.

Dahliachlo · 04/08/2019 06:38

Years in industry during degrees are almost always paid. You wouldn’t be unreasonable to tell her she needs to find a paid internship.

NeverTwerkNaked · 04/08/2019 06:47

If she can find a good placement a year in review industry will hugely improve her employment prospects. We take "year in industry" placements (we do pay them though) and they learn so much, and the most impressive ones are given job offers from us for when they graduate.

4Smalls · 04/08/2019 06:52

It seems perfectly reasonable to me. Your children are very lucky to have parents who are willing/able to help them through 3 years of uni.

TwistyTop · 04/08/2019 07:26

If it's because you genuinely can't afford it then I'd say this is fine. Life goes on. A year in industry will be really good for her future prospects so it's good that she wants to do that, but it isn't essential for you to fund it. She can always get a part time job to fund herself. It's fantastic if parents are able to financially support their children through these sorts of things but not everyone can afford to. It's just how it goes.

ErrolTheDragon · 04/08/2019 07:47

Years in industry during degrees are almost always paid. You wouldn’t be unreasonable to tell her she needs to find a paid internship.

It does sound like this 'industry' is taking the piss. Unpaid internships in summer vacs are one thing, though bad enough - harder for students from poorer families to access. But if it's a year, isn't that long enough to be doing work worth some sort of salary not just 'work experience' or 'shadowing'?Confused

VivaLeBeaver · 04/08/2019 07:52

Dd is doing a 7 year degree and we will be supporting her for the duration. I think if you can afford it then support them but make it clear you expect them to help themselves as much as possible, part time job, etc.

Nacreous · 04/08/2019 07:52

I've never seen unpaid year-in-industry placements but I was always looking at science, tech and engineering degrees.

I don't think refusing to fund an extra year's unpaid internship is unreasonable though, which, if unpaid, is what that appears to be.

Sianlouise432 · 04/08/2019 07:56

If you're not particularly well off, that's more reason to use the student loans company to get a maintenance loan. A larger percentage of it will be 'grant' so your dc will not pay that portion back. I lived off maintenance loan (none of which is grant) and a small monthly allowance from my parent and managed just fine. Then again I didn't like drinking or clubbing.

cottonwoolsnowmen · 04/08/2019 07:59

Are you sure the year in industry is unpaid? Given you seemed to think she'd also be paying full tuition fees for that year?

Skittlenommer · 04/08/2019 08:00

I paid for Uni myself not that many years ago (worked every hour under the sun at my part-time job while at college). I’m sure they will survive a year without your maintenance.

Squashpocket · 04/08/2019 08:03

Unpaid placement years are or were definitely a thing. 15 years ago I did an unpaid year in industry and still had the pay uni fees for the full year. We did get free accommodation in a shared house though, so that probably amounted to about £5000 worth of in kind benefits. Still pretty shit for a year of full time work.