To be really hopping mad at this other mother?

[Snoozysnuze]

My 8 year old son has his best mate over for a sleepover tonight. He's waited three years for best mate to turn 8 as that was the age set by his parents for sleepovers. Fair enough. Both super excited, counting down the days, hours, minutes until said sleepover.
My OH goes to pick best mate up, his mother hands over bag etc before casually mentioning that best mate has threadworms, but don't worry because they are really common and he's been treated for them. OH bit flustered, doesn't know anything about threadworms as none of us have ever had them so doesn't object and brings best mate home.
We have since looked up threadworms and they are a horror story, really itchy anus at night, increased bedwetting (apparently he has wet the bed twice this week) and highly contagious with eggs that can live outside the body for 2 weeks!
Clearly best mate and son have been playing together all day, and best mate has touched a lot of his toys and stuff. Since reading we have watched him like hawks and only caught him scratching his bottom once, and have insisted on hand washing immediately and before all meals etc.
The thing that really gets my goat though is that I am currently breastfeeding an 8 month old. Having read and spoken to a pharmacist we have decided to treat our son and OH for them anyway (NHS website says treat all in household even if not symptomatic, and he is now in our household...) but myself and 8 month old cannot take the medication so if we catch them it could be horrendous itchiness for a couple of weeks until hygiene sorts the blighters out. We also have to vacuum and damp dust the entire house plus wash several loads of soft toys that they have been playing with. He has also brought his own soft toys into the house which are likely riddled with eggs!
AIBU or should best mate's mother have called off the sleepover to protect in particular our 8 month old from potential infection? If it was the other way round our son would most definitely have been kept at home. They would have been terribly disappointed but sleepover could have been rearranged for another weekend very easily. Fuming is an understatement. Plus wish we'd known a bit more about threadworms before picking him up....

Yes, of course you are not being unreasonable. She could, at the very least, asked you beforehand if you were still agreeable for the sleepover to go ahead, not just assumed you would be.

It's horrible to come across threadworms for the first time they are pretty grim. But you know I do think you are overeating here slightly... they are very very very common and actually lots of children have them without anyone ever realising. So it's quite likely your son may have had them in the past. As you say they are very contagious and spread through schools very quickly at primary level. They are simliar to headlice. I'd not send my son to sleepover if he had worms but I'd not be furious with this mum tbh. I'd not have treated my family either unless they actually had symptoms. It's really not that big of a deal even though its gross. They are completely harmless. Your baby is very unlikely to catch them because if they are in nappies they are not going to put their hands near their bum.
My 4yo had thredaworms last month and no one else in the house had any sign of them including my 1yo. I did treat my son and my husband but same as you because I was breastfeeding didny treat me or my daughter. We have had no sign of them and my sons seem to have gone.
I had them as a child I remember.

Seriously??? Why the hell did you not put the child back in car, drive him home and tell the mother to fuck right off with her contagious kid??? She shouldn't have sent him, you definitely should not have kept him!!

I’d be fuming: my DSD came to us with threadworms while I was breastfeeding so in the same situation. We were really vigilant with hand washing and didn’t let her touch the baby and it was ok.

What!!! Jesus you should have put the child back in the car and said no that’s so gross I would t send my kid to a sleepover in that state yuck!!

Mmmmm. It does sound dreadful but once you've had threadworms / nits etc you calm down bit.

Given how excited they were I can see why she didn't want to cancel.

YANBU but why didn't you take him straight home if you are so horrified?

If he's been treated, no-one's at any risk. The worms are killed with one dose of the medication.

Seriously, chill.

Just worm your family members and it’ll be ok.
Once any children are at school you need to assume that they can be exposed to worms and I recommend you worm all family members and dc every 6 months whether they need it or not until the dc are of an age to always wash hands after using the loo.
I’d better not go into how to check for worms in case you’re a bit squeamish.

Thread worms are extremely common. Plenty of children have them without parents ever being aware.

Mine have had them a few times over the years and I have had them once (caught from dc). Annoying to treat as the tablets can be quite pricey! But easy enough IME to get rid of.

It’s an itchy bum hole, not the plague. I think you’re being a bit overdramatic.

Seriously, I don't know where you got all this stuff from. When threadworms arrived in our family ( a couple of times, a few years apart) we all took the stuff, the symptoms stopped pretty much straight away, then we took another dose two weeks later, as that would be the point when any internal eggs might hatch. Job done.

Vaccuming and damp dusting after an already treated child had been in your house, was absolutely not necessary.

Well pretty glad to hear that infection has been avoided in similar situations, that is reassuring. krisskrosskiss you're right they are gross, the thought of them makes me feel a bit sick but as you say at least they are harmless. Best mate's mother is generally lovely and we've always got on, she obviously didn't think it was much of an issue, I just dont want me or my baby to catch them and not be able to treat them easily!

Bloody hell that's really awful...I don't think he should of been allowed to stay. They can fester for months to come. Hopefully the house will be clear for Christmas. Best let family and friends know the predicament. Good luck and stay strong.

Meh, sorry, after treating the whole household numerous times I really can't get overexcited about this. Continue to wash hands, wipe/wash your child's bottom with a wet cloth several times a day to remove any eggs, change underwear a few times a day as well. You could get rid of them that way without any treatment.

Dettol spray and a hand steamer, your new best friends. Anything that will fit in and suitable for thru the dishwasher! Bleach all loos. Wash sheets etc on 90. Treat son and have separate towels etc for you and baby.
And when your son goes over for a sleepover, just do the same ....oh! DS has anthrax, but don’t worry you can only die from it!
Stupid woman, what was she thinking?

We’ve had worms and nits in our house
I found nits are talked about in hushed voices-nobody wants to have ‘that’ child
Worms-nothing
My mates kids caught them once and she freaked out and cried down the phone at me
Thankfully a trip to the doc told her the same as me-harmless easy to treat and every fam will catch them at some point

Threadworms are literally nothing. Ovex, problem gone. Not true you can't take any anti-helmitic while BF. Ring the breastfeeding network helpline on that one.
They are so excited. Don't rain on their parade!

My son was in absolute agony with threadworms, proper screaming it was awful. I think he got them about four times altogether. We’d worm him am everyone in the household, and a month later he’d have them again.

The thing that finally did the trick was changing his routine to showering every morning. Apparently worms crawl out of your bum at night to lay their eggs, eggs end up in your mouth (bleugh) and the cycle continues. Getting him in the shower first thing every day meant we always broke the cycle straight away.

OMG I am so angry for you.
This will be no consolation but you could put tea tree oil in your bath and also some onto a flannel to wash and this could well also keep them at bay / treat them as you and baby can't take the medication. Just not on your face. Tea tree is amazing. But make sure it is well diluted (and don't gargle with it or drink it either).
I would be so so angry, any child would have understood a postponed sleepover.

I do think other Mum should habe spoken to you before DH picked up the lad, especially knowing you had a baby. Or ateast explained Re one dose treatment so he isn't contagious etc.

I'd be annoyed about this TBH

You can't worm prophylactically so there's no point in treating people who don't have them.

I know it’s a bit petty but I’d be pissed off about this. I wouldn’t send DD if she had them. They went round nursery before summer hols and I was super paranoid she would catch them. I kept checking her and just couldn’t relax. The leaflet they gave us said they are super contagious and you do have to do all the washing and treat all household members. It’s a pain.

Look they spend all day together at school so your son may have them already. Kids hygiene isn’t the best. My son is 9 and has had them 4 times. We buy over the counter medicine and they clear up. I have never done anything else than take the tablets and they have gone away. It can be distressing when you first see them but it’s ok.

She should have told you so you can rearrange but they are not really a big deal. Most people have them. At some point in their lives. I remember having them as a child. I think many people have them. But don't know