To be really hopping mad at this other mother?

[Snoozysnuze]

My 8 year old son has his best mate over for a sleepover tonight. He's waited three years for best mate to turn 8 as that was the age set by his parents for sleepovers. Fair enough. Both super excited, counting down the days, hours, minutes until said sleepover.
My OH goes to pick best mate up, his mother hands over bag etc before casually mentioning that best mate has threadworms, but don't worry because they are really common and he's been treated for them. OH bit flustered, doesn't know anything about threadworms as none of us have ever had them so doesn't object and brings best mate home.
We have since looked up threadworms and they are a horror story, really itchy anus at night, increased bedwetting (apparently he has wet the bed twice this week) and highly contagious with eggs that can live outside the body for 2 weeks!
Clearly best mate and son have been playing together all day, and best mate has touched a lot of his toys and stuff. Since reading we have watched him like hawks and only caught him scratching his bottom once, and have insisted on hand washing immediately and before all meals etc.
The thing that really gets my goat though is that I am currently breastfeeding an 8 month old. Having read and spoken to a pharmacist we have decided to treat our son and OH for them anyway (NHS website says treat all in household even if not symptomatic, and he is now in our household...) but myself and 8 month old cannot take the medication so if we catch them it could be horrendous itchiness for a couple of weeks until hygiene sorts the blighters out. We also have to vacuum and damp dust the entire house plus wash several loads of soft toys that they have been playing with. He has also brought his own soft toys into the house which are likely riddled with eggs!
AIBU or should best mate's mother have called off the sleepover to protect in particular our 8 month old from potential infection? If it was the other way round our son would most definitely have been kept at home. They would have been terribly disappointed but sleepover could have been rearranged for another weekend very easily. Fuming is an understatement. Plus wish we'd known a bit more about threadworms before picking him up....

Ifs any consolation op I have never had worms myself despite living in house with others who have. Unlike bloody nits which I seem to get all the time

TBH, I think it was good of your friend to mention it and warn you so you can be vigilant. Here, schools and other mothers talk about nits all the time but no one I know has ever mentioned worms, even though they must be common (my dc had them several times). I'm not sure I would have sent my child to a sleepover with them though. But better at least that she mentioned it rather then sending him and saying nothing!

my sons childminders family had them so my son had touched all toys / ate there ECT he didn't get them but did in reception we treated him and i rang school they told me to send in as long as he has had the treatment so I did. So it may have been going around your son's class. Fingers crossed you don't get it but no one else in our house did.

so the fact it is passed on by poor handwashing is a bit of a horror trigger for us

“Horror trigger”? And you’re both NHS employees? How the fuck do you get through the working day if this is a “horror trigger” for you?

I think if the sleepover friend has threadworm, then there is a fair chance your son already has it. It really is very common.

Horrible thoughtless behaviour on the other mums part tbh. The medicine kills the worms but not the eggs. Only strict hygiene and cleaning measures for two weeks plus often a second dose of medication truely eliminates all eggs and any worms that have hatched since.
You are not overreacting, she was selfish and thoughtless.
And you are right about your 8 month old. The medicine is unlicensed for babies under 2 years. So if they needed it, it would be given off license which is non ideal.
It would be even worse if you were pregnant as you cannot take the medicine at all.

Also all children do not invariably get these things. I’m come from a big family and none of us have ever had headlice or threadworm as children and neither have any of our children so far.
It’s common yes, but by no means, do all children have them.

I would be fuming with anything contagious coming through the door like that.

To be honest most children and adults have worms and they can be passed even from lettuce etc.
Pencils pens.you don’t even have to have an itchy bum.once in a while I always give the house hold ovex.you don’t have to wait to even see them.
I really wouldnt stress it’s one time treatment.

You're overreacting.

The child has had one treatment. There is a follow up dose that needs to be taken if the life cycle is to be completely disrupted. It is very unlikely that there are live eggs being shed at this point.

You are incredibly lucky that you have never experienced threadworms before. They are part and parcel of the school and playground experience. You have probably had lots of kids in your house who have active cases but nobody ever did you the favour of telling you about them.

You should have waited until someone showed symptoms before taking the medication.

I’m abit of suspicious of the “we’ve never had nits or worms” brigade I give them a wide berth as figure they’ve got them but haven’t treated.

I couldn’t get upset about worms or nits. They’re going to catch them at school/nursery. It’s just part of having kids. It’s not like he had the plague and came over.

OMG OMG !!! I'm so triggered by what pathetic drama queens some people are !

I am sooooo WORRIED !!!! (in an overly dramatic and hand wringing way) about how some parents get through the day.. let alone manage normal life with children-

FFS get a grip. In fact get several. While you are there get some Ovex or Pripsen. take it , give it to your children, and get on with your lives. Save your ridiculously inappropriate angst for an actual problem.

Threadworms are no more likely to be spread to any child on a sleepover than they are playing in the playground.

As for the NHS employed parents - who seem to have hands on medical jobs.. thats the really shocking part - that they don't appear to know this stuff...

You definitely can take worm meds when breast feeding. Ovex is barely absorbed by the body so the amount coming through breast milk is negligible. Pripsen is much more readily transferred through breast milk but is given directly to babies 3 months plus anyway so the levels are still fine.

I know! The medics I know are the most blasé about everyday childhood stuff like this. They deal with really grim serious things a few worms easily treated with otc medicine wouldn’t phase them!

"Threadworms are literally nothing".

What a moronic statement, which of course makes no sense - why can people not grasp the meaning of the word 'literally'? .

YANBU, OP. I would have sent the boy straight back home.

To answer your question YABU to be ‘hopping mad’ at the mother. She told your dh. If he made the wrong decision be mad at him. Same as you would if a child has nits. Children with worms are not kept off school. Stop knowingly making this child feel uncomfortable.

Sounds like a massive overreaction to a very minor ailment. I can understand being a bit miffed that she waited till your OH was picking him up to tell you, but she did tell you in advance and he still took the kid to yours. It’s his fault that they might be in your house, tbh.

I'd much prefer to deal with worms rather than nits.

In Primary School my DD caught bits constantly and has had worms about 2 times. We treated the whole family every time. No other family member has ever caught worms including my ds who is way less hygienic than his sister.

It's always been Ovex, then wear knickers to bed for a few days for dd. Never been a massive drama. Certainly we never sterilised the house. Nits however were hard to get rid of. We had to comb every other day in the bath regularly just to check. They drove me to despair.

Now she's an older teenager I'm so glad we seem to be out of this phase. She hasn't had any 'critters' for many years .

You'll all be fine OP.

I do agree though that many parents will happily discuss nits but there is silence on worms. The pharmacist reassured me that they sell dozens of Ovex packets every day and it's so so common, just one of those things.

YABU because the child has been treated. For all you know, the mother might well have done all the cleaning of the soft toys/therapist yes you are planning to do yourself.

You are reacting as if the mother had sent the child knowing he was infected but WITHOUT having given him any treatment .

I’d suggest a bit more reading around threadworms.

“It’s an itchy bum hole not the plague” 😂😂😂

As for bedwetting, has it not cross your mind it could simply due to the fact he was in a different place having his FIRST sleepover, ie he could have been unsure about getting up at night if he needed the loo, have been a stressed about it, even if he didn’t show it, being over excited, drinking much more thanusual etc etc all of which are just ‘normal’ reasons to have an accident whilst away from home.

As for scratching his bum.... show me an 8yo who doesn’t do that at some point. If he was infectious, and as itchy as you seem to think it will be, don’t you think you would have seen him doing that constantly???
(Otherwise, if being infectious means scratching your bum once in the day, don’t you think your u are massively over reacting about how bad or serious threadworms are??)

You only discover them if you look at the poo immediately it comes out, so for me, my dd did a poo in the potty right under my nose while i was on the phone.
you could have them without knowing.
just make sure hygiene is good, washing bottom before bed. wearing knickers/pants in bed, cut nails.
not really a big deal

YABU.

I hope you haven’t Shamed the little boy.