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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really hopping mad at this other mother?

105 replies

Snoozysnuze · 03/08/2019 20:56

My 8 year old son has his best mate over for a sleepover tonight. He's waited three years for best mate to turn 8 as that was the age set by his parents for sleepovers. Fair enough. Both super excited, counting down the days, hours, minutes until said sleepover.
My OH goes to pick best mate up, his mother hands over bag etc before casually mentioning that best mate has threadworms, but don't worry because they are really common and he's been treated for them. OH bit flustered, doesn't know anything about threadworms as none of us have ever had them so doesn't object and brings best mate home.
We have since looked up threadworms and they are a horror story, really itchy anus at night, increased bedwetting (apparently he has wet the bed twice this week) and highly contagious with eggs that can live outside the body for 2 weeks!
Clearly best mate and son have been playing together all day, and best mate has touched a lot of his toys and stuff. Since reading we have watched him like hawks and only caught him scratching his bottom once, and have insisted on hand washing immediately and before all meals etc.
The thing that really gets my goat though is that I am currently breastfeeding an 8 month old. Having read and spoken to a pharmacist we have decided to treat our son and OH for them anyway (NHS website says treat all in household even if not symptomatic, and he is now in our household...) but myself and 8 month old cannot take the medication so if we catch them it could be horrendous itchiness for a couple of weeks until hygiene sorts the blighters out. We also have to vacuum and damp dust the entire house plus wash several loads of soft toys that they have been playing with. He has also brought his own soft toys into the house which are likely riddled with eggs!
AIBU or should best mate's mother have called off the sleepover to protect in particular our 8 month old from potential infection? If it was the other way round our son would most definitely have been kept at home. They would have been terribly disappointed but sleepover could have been rearranged for another weekend very easily. Fuming is an understatement. Plus wish we'd known a bit more about threadworms before picking him up....

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 03/08/2019 22:00

Wow. That pretty selfish of her. If my dc are going to play at their friends and have a cold I just send a quick text to check they are ok to have germs in their house. Threadworms and a sleepover is a whole level beyond.

Witchend · 03/08/2019 22:04

The statistics are that 50% of under 10s have threadworms at any point in time.
Chances are that he's had them before. He may have even given them to his friend.
Different children react in different ways. One of mine never noticed even when I found there was a large party on their bottom going on one night, one of them would be reduced to a screaming wreck with only a small number.

And you can get medicine for under 2s, one of mine caught it from siblings at 6 months, when still breastfed. It's powder at that age you dissolve.

saraclara · 03/08/2019 22:04

Jeeze, the hysteria.

Threadworms are literally nothing. Ovex, problem gone.

Exactly. Nothing like as hard to get rid of as nits.
Give Ovex, scrub nails, wash towels and bedding. It's over (but for the second dose two weeks later.

But in the OP's case the visiting kid had ALREADY BEEN TREATED. He brought nothing to the house.

Pomegranateseeds · 03/08/2019 22:10

Definitely over reacting.
DD has had them a few times (7yr old) but DS (10) has only had once, and that time was not caught from DD (nor did she catch from him). DH and I have never caught them. They’re really not a big deal. Someone says “My bottom’s really itchy”, they take Ovex, problem’s gone by the morning (then you give another dose in 2 weeks just in case)

sweetkitty · 03/08/2019 22:11

Any time one of my say Mum my bums itchy I’m straight down the chemists for a tablet for everyone (luckily we’re in Scotland minor ailments all free).

If the boys been treated he’ll be clear.

EssentialHummus · 03/08/2019 22:16

Yabu, he’s been treated.

Namechange8471 · 03/08/2019 22:21

YANBU

But why didn't you say something? Id of just took him home and said another time

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 03/08/2019 22:21

I think you’re overthinking this. He has been treated, so unlikely to pass anything on.

amIstupid22 · 03/08/2019 22:26

The mum really should have mentioned it before the sleepover but I think you are being a bit OTT.

My DC has had threadworms about 3 or 4 times (a thumb sucker + school!) and none of the family had them, alongside the other siblings (one who was also too young to have the medication).

As long as he is washing his hands after the toilet, doesnt scratch and you wash the bedding it's unlikely to affect anyone else.

sodonesooverit · 03/08/2019 22:29

You can take ovex while breastfeeding - check with the drugs in breastmilk helpline if you must but it's fine. Don't panic - it's one of those things and doesn't need to be a big deal

saraclara · 03/08/2019 22:30

I've no idea why the other mum even bothered mentioning it if he'd been treated. It literally only takes hours for Ovex to work.

MrsPworkingmummy · 03/08/2019 22:35

Is anyone else's bum getting itchy reading this? Just me?

Proseccoinamug · 03/08/2019 22:38

He’s been treated. There’s no issue. Threadworms are not a big deal anyway. You’re being way OTT.

I took ovex while breastfeeding and gave it to one year old. It was fine.

Original poster
Snoozysnuze · 03/08/2019 22:41

Thanks for all the comments, interesting that some feel we are massively overreacting. As far as we've read, the medication kills the worms but not the eggs, so the fact he has toys with him from home and was still symptomatic last night (bedwetting) and tonight (scratching bum) means he could still be contagious? Part of my worry is that poor best mate is inevitably aware that we are worried and we dont want him to feel unwelcome in our house. We both work for the NHS and spend a lot of our time with our hands in other people's mouths so perhaps that is why it is freaking us out so much, we are completely anal (scuse the pun) about handwashing so the fact it is passed on by poor handwashing is a bit of a horror trigger for us. Anyway, will wash everything we can, cross fingers and hope that no one else catches them.

OP posts:
itsabongthing · 03/08/2019 22:41

I think you’re over reacting. They’re everywhere and lots of people have them without even realising. I think she shouldn’t have mentioned it - especially if he’s been treated, the treatment is very effective!
Hopefully he brought his own sleeping bag but if not then washing the bedding he slept in should be sufficient.

Franklyyes · 03/08/2019 22:42

Please chill - kids pick up things

I8toys · 03/08/2019 22:48

YABU - at least she told you and he had been treated. They are not a big deal.

gamerchick · 03/08/2019 22:49

You're overreacting OP and you'll probably find yourself in the same situation at some point.

There absolutely no point in treating your household yet anyway. It's not like a film where eggs hatch and grow at a super human rate. Wait a couple of weeks first.

This is not a big deal.

Might be worth getting some.ovex in for the cupboard anyway. Then you've been preprepared for the 'mam, me bums itchy' at 10pm.

saraclara · 03/08/2019 22:50

...poor best mate is inevitably aware that we are worried

You let the visiting kid know that you were worried? Why would you do that? He was probably embarrassed enough about having them in the first place (and must have been thrilled if he heard his mum mention them to you). But letting him see how freaked out you were was pretty crappy behaviour on your part.

littlebird88 · 03/08/2019 22:52

hes been treated all fine.
seriously most kids have a few threadworms at all times.
my kids have to have colonoscopies frequently and wrve been told under 10s mostly have continuous threadworms

AliTheMinx · 03/08/2019 22:53

Grim. What an inconsiderate mother. I would have been livid. YANBU x

ButtonMoonLoon · 03/08/2019 22:53

I’ve clicked that YABU on account of the fact that when told you still agreed to the sleepover. That was your opportunity to say that you felt uncomfortable/would rather not risk getting them. So by taking him you were in effect saying you didn’t mind!

Bouncebacker · 03/08/2019 22:59

breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/wp-content/dibm/threadworms%20and%20breastfeeding.pdf

I read this, and spoke to Pharmacist and decided to take the medication whilst breastfeeding. It really really isn’t a big deal. It’s gross the first time but it would be a miracle if no one in your house has had them before. The treatment works very quickly.

WalkofShame · 03/08/2019 23:01

I have nothing useful to add but just came here to say that this thread about being hopping mad was just under the one about a dislocated toe and it made me Grin

RainbowAlicorn · 03/08/2019 23:02

Just strip all bedding in the morning and wash all toys. I doubt you will get them tbh. My DD had them, we treated everyone in the family, my DD was clear within 24 hours, we just kept stripping her bed everyday for a week, and stripped all other beds the first night, bought anti-bacterial handwashing, rather than the other one we had and she has been fine since. It was only a problem for 24 hours really.