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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who have never experienced being in family court

999 replies

SavanahXx · 02/08/2019 23:40

It really does my head in when people side with social services. They have an opinion that "they are just doing what's best for the child". These people that have the opinion mostly have never even had involvement with SS, therefore don't see the lies and manipulation of a situation that they use.

It's easy for them to say that a parent 'could pose a risk' but do you know how hard it is to prove you wouldn't?

I seen an utterly revolting article that really baffled me. Social workers manage to get away with this stuff daily. Yet its not reported as it should be. This child was removed, with a judges permission. Then placed back with the mother by another judge.
There is so much corruption in our society and it needs to change.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/13/social-worker-criticised-child-taken-away-mother-refused-give/amp/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 03/08/2019 13:26

Can the conspiracy theorists explain why they think social services want to take babies from a safe and loving home? It's already been established in the thread that applying to have them removed is more expensive and adds heavily to an already unreasonable workload.

Anyone?

Original poster
SavanahXx · 03/08/2019 13:30

I love how you come out with insults like bratty because someone doesn't have the same opinion as you.

OP posts:
wishingforapositiveyear · 03/08/2019 13:33

But your calling everyone stupid for not agreeing with you 🙄

Original poster
SavanahXx · 03/08/2019 13:36

Im calling people stupid for thinking I'm "painting them all with the same brush" and for not actually understand my opinion, big difference for not reading and understanding someone correctly and calling someone bratty

OP posts:
Peanutbuttericecream · 03/08/2019 13:40

What a ridiculous thread OP.🙄

Original poster
SavanahXx · 03/08/2019 13:41

And you're entitled to your viewSmile

OP posts:
sarahg216 · 03/08/2019 13:47

I thought a bit the same as OP until knew more about the process. If it gets to removal stage it seems to rely a lot on an independent psychologist report, then at court the judge makes the final decision.
Social workers do not have the final say about removal or not.
Did you have access to the psycological report in your case op?
Might show you clearly what the court is looking for if you were to challenge the outcome in the future?

Original poster
SavanahXx · 03/08/2019 14:00

My outcome wasn't a bad one? I have my child. But you know the phycological assessments are private don't you. I don't think there's many people who didn't get a "you have a personality disorder" if you do research into it and read a few mum's stories, their has been some that's had a second assessment on the NHS and been told there is nothing wrong with them... Coincidence? I think not.

OP posts:
Isatis · 03/08/2019 14:00

Am I talking about people who have abused their children? No i don't think I am. I swear people are stupid. if you're not going to read. Don't try and jump on the bandwagon.

If I can quote your own words yet again, OP, you said:

No child should be put through forced adoption
But being removed and put for adoption because that child could be potentially at risk of significant emotional/physical harm. I don't see how that's right.

If NO child should be put through forced adoption, that must include children who have been abused. If it is NEVER right to remove children who are potentially at risk, then that must include children who are at risk because their parents or their parents' partners have abused their other children.

Please acknowledge that we ARE reading exactly what you are posting on here. If you are posting things you don't mean, don't accuse other people of being stupid.

Screamanger · 03/08/2019 14:04

Can the conspiracy theorists explain why they think social services want to take babies from a safe and loving home? It's already been established in the thread that applying to have them removed is more expensive and adds heavily to an already unreasonable workload.

It’s not that I believe any strange ass conspiracy. I think the overloaded, mismanaged system is worse than pretty much any other option.

sarahg216 · 03/08/2019 14:11

OP the person I know was given a copy as a matter of course. Unless there was a clear risk of sharing the information with the patient I can’t see that the report would be allowed to be kept private as it is part of your medical records.
I haven’t had the same experience of personality disorders being stated without clear evidence. As only a psychiatrist can confirm this diagnosis. I haven’t seen an example of a psychologist wrongly identifying symptoms of this.
Not contradicting your experience but at least in my experience I couldn’t say that the social care, medical or justice system has been negligent.

darkriver19886 · 03/08/2019 14:17

I was given my psych report. Which my solicitor had to get permission for me to be able to share anyone who will help.

The report was delivered two weeks after the assessment was done.

The courts are confidential to protect the children pure and simple.

auntethel · 03/08/2019 14:17

@spero the family law barrister might come along and confirm the focus is on removal rather than support. Might help posters who think victims are conspiracists.

Original poster
SavanahXx · 03/08/2019 14:25

People who haven't gone through it haven't a clue. And I dont think they will until theyre faced in that situation.

OP posts:
auntethel · 03/08/2019 14:31

The courts are confidential to protect the children pure and simple Why not fully open the courts and call the children xyz and parents Mr and Mrs X? They certainly wouldn't have got away with victimising my family if the courts were public.

dreichhighlands · 03/08/2019 14:37

As a social worker I wouldn't have minded the courts being open but I don't think it would be in the best interests of the DC involved. Small communities would be easily able to work out who was who and their personal details would be known to everyone who fancied a gossip.

growingfrenchlavender · 03/08/2019 14:38

Sometimes people have their own prejudices and they may vehemently disagree with the way the child is raised.

Some people believe a child growing up in a single parent family, with a young parent, with a disabled parent, etc. are inherently disadvantaged.

dreichhighlands · 03/08/2019 14:45

I think it is also worth saying that by the time a case gets to court social workers are likely to have decided that removal is in the best interests of the DC, at least for a period of time. But this is a very high threshold and only a fraction of cases will ever reach that point. The work to create change so that DC can safely stay in the family home is likely to have gone on for months at lower levels of child protection before the decision to go to court is taken. This is the final step in any child protection process, it is decision that is not taken lightly or easily, it is very time consuming and expensive. A case will not even be taken to court before a local authority solicitor has looked at the evidence and decided that the legal threshold is met.
This doesn't mean every decision will be right, no profession manages that. Some DC will be left in situations that they should have been removed from and others will be removed who may have been better staying.
Significant underfunding of local authorities, cutting of sure start centres etc have an impact on the work as well.

auntethel · 03/08/2019 14:56

Here is a report by AIMS (association maternity services) sent to Chief of Public Health. It's about the adverse effects of child protection on families and their concerns about false reports, etc. This report was post Climbie but before Baby P. Google- www.aims.org.uk/journal/item/child-protection

clarissa469 · 03/08/2019 15:02

OP. No where has anyone here says they understand what you're going through even though they have never been through it.

auntethel · 03/08/2019 15:09

The AIMS report gives credence to what parents like OP, myself and others are saying. Hopefully it will end the accusations of "conspiracy theorists".

PencilsInSpace · 03/08/2019 15:17

Spero's excellent website can be found here:

childprotectionresource.online/

There's a lot of really good myth busting information on there, see for example this page on 'forced adoption':

childprotectionresource.online/forced-adoption/

And this account of the alarming activities of Ian Josephs (as well as John Hemming and Christopher Booker):

childprotectionresource.online/helping-parents-leave-the-jurisdiction/

Original poster
SavanahXx · 03/08/2019 15:20

Not looking to much like a conspiracy now tho is it? This stuff happens and needs to be stopped.

OP posts:
auntethel · 03/08/2019 15:31

Yes Pencils I've been on spero's website. Not very helpful to genuine family court victims I'm afraid. Re Ian Josephs and fleeing the country, spero advises against that, yet admits that the focus is on removal rather than support? What are innocent parents supposed to do? Sit and wait for removal because there's no support? No, some won't do that!

Rufus27 · 03/08/2019 15:45

My experience is the opposite: I am shocked by how high the threshold is before children are removed. Every social worker I’ve met has always stated that adoption must be the last possible option once all other avenues have been explored.

Sadly this means that many children, including my own and others I have worked with, will forever be scarred by the effects of the trauma caused by their birth parents.

We nearly had our second adopted baby removed and returned to the birth family thanks to a legal loophole, despite the fact the birth parents had caused physical damage to the child with life long impact. Luckily the judge saw sense.

I am sorry you’ve had a negative experience OP and I know that mistakes are very occasionally made, but in the majority of cases social workers do their best for the child in very difficult circumstances.