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Sir James Talbot tackles Mrs. Jack Maynard's Displaced Organ

954 replies

QuaterMiss · 02/08/2019 18:17

Would I be unreasonable to initiate legal proceedings against this man?

Previous thread here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3624032-Not-to-have-realised-until-now-that-Joey-Maynard-s-displaced-organ-was-a-prolapse?

With thanks to Jemima232 for rifling through Sir James’ archives to supply the title of this one.

OP posts:
Clockworkprincess · 06/08/2019 17:53

Omg can't believe I have missed this. Can i beg to be added to the dropbix list. Read a fair few but never found most of them. Thanks xx

cerys · 06/08/2019 19:04

@Jemima232

does Madge, she of the low voice and elusive prettiness, ever admit that Joey’s obsession with having the largest family was out of control? And all those wards/adopted sisters/ waifs and strays! These days they’d be accused of doing it to get the state benefits...

I thought of the CS last night as I applied castor oil to my eyelashes after an ill-advised foray into fake lashes has left me looking a bit sparse. Didn’t someone fry doughnuts in castor oil? What jolly japes!

desperatelyseekingcaffeine · 06/08/2019 21:05

I think I'd like Joey's life! Even with young triplets, she has to take Robin out of school for 2 days a week to help her at home as she 'only has Anna' then drops in that she also has a lady to come in every Wednesday to help. And an earlier comment that Anna was really busy so if she wanted lunch she'd actually have to make it herself! Shock

cerys · 06/08/2019 21:41

I am trying to imagine DD1 if I said “Mother needs you at home to help with the house and the children; no university for you!”Hmm

Papergirl1968 · 06/08/2019 21:58

Just reading Kenya and Peggy must leave school and go home to help out as Mollie is having another baby.
I guess that was the oldest daughter’s role and no one expected any different.
I would never have made a Chalet school girl.
The endless praying for a start - how would they have reacted if when asked if you were Protestant or catholic you’d replied atheist actually?
The baths! Not only cold and speedy but according to Kenya, one bathroom divided into four cubicles! No privacy at all, or in the dormitories of 12 cubicles. I wonder if anyone farted? You’d hear that through the dainty curtains!
Then the endless petty rules - your slippers go here, your dressing gown goes there, your stockings go in this drawer.
The sheer lack of being able to make any decisions about what time to get up or go to bed, what to wear, what to eat.
It’s a wonder any of them emerged as fully functioning adults.

GreyBasket · 07/08/2019 02:54

@Parker231 could I possibly have the Dropbox link when you can?

Squirrel26 · 07/08/2019 08:30

I can’t remember which book, but there is a girl who doesn’t believe in God on the entirely reasonable grounds that both her parents died in a fire and she ended up horribly burnt, so if he does happen to exist, what the fuck was he playing at? As if she hasn’t suffered enough, they set Mary-Lou on her.

Papergirl1968 · 07/08/2019 11:18

EBD must have been very religious considering the amount of time they devote to praying.
Malory Towers and St Clare’s were a similar era, I guess, but I don’t remember Enid Blyton putting in many references to prayers there.

Jemima232 · 07/08/2019 11:22

@cerys

Extract from Madge's Diary

…………….so Joey must find a husband pronto. Cannot believe a CS girl would become pregnant...………..the father is...………….but Jack fancies her anyway so...…………..might get Stacie Benson to...………….no that would never work...………...those bloody Middles...………...shotgun wedding...…………..get Hilda to take Prep on Thursday...……..could ask Sir James Talbot about...…………..oh fuck it.

MarieVanGoethem · 07/08/2019 11:42

Ages ago was responsible for naming a friend’s SatNav Mary-Lou as it sounded so unbearably smug-bossy & overbearing. Quite therapeutic to shout “shut UP Mary-Lou!” when it was issuing unhelpful-impossible suggestions. AFAIK it wasn’t prone to ostentatious displays of religiosity, but who knows what it was getting up to when no humans were in the car...

IsFuzzyBeagMise · 07/08/2019 12:09

@MarieVonGoethem 😂 that's hilarious!

I did a lot of praying in school (Ireland, thirty years ago...) so I didn't find the prayers in the CS unusual while reading it growing up. I went to a girls' secondary school run by nuns, from the mid-eighties to mid-nineties. We had nine classes a day and we said a prayer at the start of every lesson, including a garbled Hail Mary in French and German and assembly once a week, mass once a year.

My kids go to a mixed school, also Catholic, but there is an annual mass and that is the extent of it. They study religion as a subject and it's much broader than the religion classes that I had in school. Times have changed!

QuaterMiss · 07/08/2019 13:19

the father is...………….but

could ask Sir James Talbot about...…………..oh fuck it.

Am I reading these extracts correctly Jemima232? Has Madge revealed that Sir James T is the father of the triplets??? And everything I ever believed about the world is wrong?

ShockShockShockShockShock etc ...

OP posts:
funnelfanjo · 07/08/2019 17:23

I seem to be missing number 38 Excitements at the... - has it got an alternative name or am I just not seeing it?

MarieVanGoethem · 07/08/2019 18:05

@IsFuzzyBeagMise
Well, was mildly diverting, at any rate...
I didn’t find all the praying all that weird either: Catholic Infant & Junior School here, so we’d our school prayer plus standard Our Father & Hail Mary & a hymn or two in assembly every morning (plus Prayers To Suit The Occassion; & with class assemblies we’d be the ones to write them); then we said grace before lunch break & prayers before hometime; we’d go to Mass from the Junior school on Holy Days of Obligation; & at both schools the priest would come in to say the odd Mass. I became an altar server when the rules were changed (after many years of harassing my priest about WHY girls couldn’t be & did he not think it was a silly rule? [he did...]) & with the other servers at the Juniors would take it in turns to serve at weekday morning Masses then go into school afterwards. I went to a “normal” secondary & found it really weird having no prayers at all - we’d a separate Religious Assembly that you were meant to be excused from if your parents didn’t want you to attend it. School of 1200, maybe 20 people went. But partly that was because - in antiCS-style - some sorts of Christians didn’t like mixing with other sorts of Christians Hmm (Was of course Christian-based worship, Because UK Law. I’d’ve been all for something multifaith, but fear I’d’ve been alone there...). Lots of my Guides go to a secondary school where they’ve still to pray each lesson though. It was a convent school but I don’t think there are any nuns left teaching there now - think even the Head’s a, er, civilian. The RE syllabus (“Here I Am”, thank you Ridiculous Brain) I studied when I was 4-11 was multifaith though - & the set of Muslim siblings at the Junior School while I was there were not only provided with space to pray at appropriate times, but also did part of an assembly about Islam & showed us their prayer mats & a copy of the Koran & there was no fuss about them having vegetarian meals. I got to secondary school knowing more about the main world faiths than most of my peers did.

QuaterMiss
There. Is. Not. Enough. Brain. Bleach. In. The. World.

(Am impressed my antiemetic has managed to keep working in face of that idea. Blerghk. Also relieved, because I’d not’ve fancied explaining to my lovely Consultant exactly how I’d come to throw up my new NJ tube Confused)

PhilSwagielka · 07/08/2019 18:17

@Papergirl1968 yes it's Naomi in Trials, and while she is a bit of a bitch, she has a good reason to be bitter and lacking faith because her parents died in a car crash, and it also disabled her and she wanted to be a dancer.

Apparently most people did believe in G-d back then, though I doubt they were as super religious as your average CS girl. I actually like Mary-Lou most of the time but my G-d, that bit where she preaches to Jessica Wayne about Jesus having friends made me cringe. Even as a teen, I hated the OTT religion in the Swiss books (it was bearable in the Tyrolean ones because Tyrol is super Catholic, and it was the '20s-'30s).

NoodieRoodie · 07/08/2019 18:20

I've found my people and I'm reminded that I need to renew my FOCS subscription! Please can I be added to the Dropbox link.

Papergirl1968 · 07/08/2019 20:16

Ah yes, Naomi. The one always referred to as a cripple, which seems appalling now.

QuaterMiss · 07/08/2019 20:24

I’m reading Ruey atm and Mary-Lou has just arrived to explain why they all care so much about Naomi (who’s in hospital) and why Ruey should pray for her.

I must say this one is a little short on excitement so far. There doesn’t really seem to be a point to it.

OP posts:
IsFuzzyBeagMise · 07/08/2019 20:46

@MarieVanGoethem, good for you bringing up the question with the priest about being an altar- server!

JellicleCat · 07/08/2019 22:18

Please may I also be added to the Dropbox link? I did have some electronic versions someone sent me a while ago but they were lost in the Great Computer Failure.

I have loved the CS books since I was a child and they are still my go to books when I am really stressed. (Not sure what this says about me though.)

I'm loving the Sir James revelations. Grin

Howyoualldoworkme · 07/08/2019 22:52

Ruey was the very first CS book I ever read. Got it out of our tiny village library when I was about 8. I loved drawing and spent hours redesigning the uniform. Obviously mine was much better!

JellicleCat they are my go to books when I'm unwell. Also the Jalna books which I have a deep and abiding love for Grin

LaurieMarlow · 07/08/2019 22:54

Does Ruey’s batshit father go to space in Ruey? Or does that happen later?

Jemima232 · 07/08/2019 23:18

@QuaterMiss

Re-Madge's Diaries

I get the distinct impression that Madge was going to ask Sir James for his opinion on who could be the father of Joey's baby (or babies, as the triplets turned out to be.)

The possible candidates were:

  • Mr. Denny
  • Herr Anserl
  • A Peasant (unnamed)
  • Dr. Jem

Joey had apparently slept with them all and Madge couldn't figure out the dates so she consulted Sir James Talbot

Jemima232 · 07/08/2019 23:19

But not Jack

Jemima232 · 07/08/2019 23:24

I must say this one is a little short on excitement so far. There doesn’t really seem to be a point to it

Well...……….. let's be honest here QuaterMiss

Is there a point to any of the CS books?

(That reminds me of the first time DH and I took the youngest DC to Scotland for the first time. We spent a fortnight there and on our return, as we stood on the platform at Euston station, first of all youngest DD produced a lake of vomit all over our luggage, and then, while DH and I were considering our next move, youngest DS turned to his father and uttered the immortal words *Dad - what's the point of Scotland?

Neither of us could think of an answer so we cleared up the sick and found a taxi, thoroughly defeated*

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