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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed that no one notices my weight loss?

118 replies

Shoppingishardwork · 02/08/2019 14:31

Ok so I know that this sounds childish and attention seeking, but I can't help feeling a bit miffed.

I've lost a stone. It hasn't been easy. I wasn't very overweight to begin with, my bmi was just over 25, but I was tipping overweight and felt and looked rubbish, but I'm now in my healthy weight. I'd like to lose around another half a stone.

Nobody has noticed that I've lost any weight. At work or family and friends. I even asked my mum and she said that she couldn't really tell.

I don't know why I feel this way as I don't want a big fuss, but weight is a big talking point amongst my work colleagues and friends and family who usually notice minimal weight loss.

I know I'm being silly, it's just nice to have a bit of encouragement.

OP posts:
Siameasy · 02/08/2019 14:38

That is annoying. Are you inadvertently wearing the same clothes ie they’re a bit baggy on you? Also people might feel they shouldn’t comment because it’s like saying you were fat before.
Is your mum a bit mean about stuff like this in general?

KaliOMalley · 02/08/2019 14:38

Are you still wearing the same size clothes? Sometimes it's hard to see the weight loss in slightly baggy clothes, wear something more fitted and your new shape will be more evident

IhaveALooBrush · 02/08/2019 14:39

Bunch of jealous cunts.
Dance about in your pants in front of the mirror.

If you've dropped a dress size but are wearing some pre diet clothes maybe it's hard to tell?

lastqueenofscotland · 02/08/2019 14:42

I never comment on anyone’s weight up or down.
I think it’s a really odd subject to mention tbh.

Buttons4me · 02/08/2019 14:42

Nobody noticed till I had lost 3 stones then everybody started commenting.

Neolara · 02/08/2019 14:43

I wouldnt normally comment on people's weight loss because I think it can come across as rude. I'd basically be saying "you used to look really fat", even if what I'm actually saying is "you look like you've lost weight".

Pineapplefish · 02/08/2019 14:45

Well done OP. Even if it's not very obvious I bet you feel better and healthier.

PhillyLift · 02/08/2019 14:46

It might just be due to people being unobservant. One stone might not be that obvious to anyone but you. Also - if you were never really more than a fraction overweight in the first place, why would it occur to anyone you were dieting?!

PhillyLift · 02/08/2019 14:47

But yea - it's no mean feat to lose that weight so congratulations!!! Flowers

feelingverylazytoday · 02/08/2019 14:48

No one will really notice if you have lost a stone, OP, especially if they see you every day.
I wouldn't expect them to comment, to be honest. Maybe 2 or 3stones, if you get fit and toned and really change your look.

alfagirl73 · 02/08/2019 14:48

Don't be sure they haven't noticed; people can get funny when you lose weight, jealousy mostly. I'd bet at least some of them HAVE noticed but won't say anything because they're jealous. In the past when I've lost a lot of weight, it hasn't half upset some people!!

Madfrogs · 02/08/2019 14:49

I never comment.

Oh you’ve lost weight, what so I was fat before?
Oh you look lovely today, so I looked shit yesterday?

Nope avoid avoid avoid.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/08/2019 14:49

People may just not want to mention your weight, incase it's upsetting for you, or they make it sound like you needed to lose weight, etc.

I've lost 8kg this year and nobody has noticed other than DP. I wasn't doing it for them, though Smile

cakeandchampagne · 02/08/2019 14:49

You look fabulous! Smile

Sorry they didn’t comment or seem to notice. They might just be thinking about their own too-tight jeans & pizza.

echt · 02/08/2019 14:49

YABU.

Many will not comment out of politeness, as weight loss can be attributed to illness.

If you depend on others' comments on your appearances then you're fucked. Depend on yourself.

Doormat247 · 02/08/2019 14:50

No one noticed mine either but we're full of praise for my exh losing less than I did.
I've now put it back on plus more and people are more than willing to point it out Angry

Craptop · 02/08/2019 14:51

I've lost three and a half stone in a couple of months and I think only a couple of people have said anything! No idea if anyone else can tell. I'm very fat though.

One stone doesn't make a huge difference visually, which is why it's so easy to put weight on and not notice.
But WELL DONE to you. Flowers

TwistyTop · 02/08/2019 14:51

I never comment on someone's weight unless I'm really close to them. It seems rude/personal.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 02/08/2019 14:52

How tall are you? its not easy to notice weight loss on tall people

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/08/2019 14:52

I never mention anyone's weight, it's not my business, nor do I care about other people's appearance.

iwishmoocowsweregreen · 02/08/2019 14:53

It could be jealousy or could be not wanting to offend because its a sensitive subject for many.

Only the other day at work I said to a male colleague without thinking "god you look so much slimmer and healthier" and luckily he told me he's been working his arse off at the gym every single day for months and took the comment very well, but I did think afterwards that it was lucky I didn't cause offence because its sort of saying you looked shit before.

I'm working on my no filter Blush

Hotbiscuits · 02/08/2019 14:53

YABU! I would never comment on someone’s weight. It’s a social minefield.

Batqueen · 02/08/2019 14:55

People often don’t notice when you lose weight if you are already on the slim side - same thing happens to me (similar bmi to you and when I notice it creeping up I will drop a stone or so to be back within normal range).

In a way it’s actually more to do with societal attitudes towards the overweight and a ‘thin privilege’. People don’t feel the need to comment on your weight as they don’t need to encourage you to continue - you always looked socially acceptable to them.

It’s a bit mean to not even notice at least politely when you ask but again I wouldn’t mention it when I lose weight to most of my family and friends as I know most of them are trying to do the same so would feel a bit resentful and like I was rubbing it in.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 02/08/2019 14:55
  1. People might not say in an attempt to be rude.

2.Depends where you carry the most weight and where you lost it from.

3.Have you dropped dress sizes? Are you wearing the exact same clothes? It's sometimes hard to tell when someone is wearing the exact same clothes just possibly slightly loose.

Original poster
Shoppingishardwork · 02/08/2019 14:58

Thank you, and thank you for not shooting me down as a silly attention seeker.

Mum isn't mean at all she said it in more of a "you don't need to lose weight anyway" kind of way.

True about people not wanting to comment or be rude but it's common knowledge at work that a group of us are trying to lose weight and people do comment on even minimal weight loss normally, rightly or wrongly. So I think it just isn't that noticeable to others.

Probably am wearing the same old clothes, don't think I've quite adjusted my thinking yet that I can now fit in other things.

I know it's so daft, just because it's a big deal to me doesn't mean it is to everyone else.

OP posts:
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