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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Paying into husband's house

78 replies

AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 11:44

We currently live in a house which is owned my my MIL, which my husband will inherit (or she will transfer ownership to him) at some point. It needs quite a lot of work done on it. We have a joint account, but I have £6000 in a separate savings account. My husband is suggesting using my savings (as a contribution as it will cost more), saying it's an "investment".

Obviously, it is. It's my home too, but am I right not to be sure about it? If the money gets used, then I'm not sure I'll start another separate savings account. Also, what would happen in the event of a divorce? If nothing was written down, I guess I wouldn't get that money back...?

AIBU to say no, we're not using my savings?

OP posts:

Zazazube · 01/08/2019 11:45

No no no no. You don’t use your savings unless you get a share of the house.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 01/08/2019 11:47

Intrinsically you dont trust your husband which is no basis for a marriage.

Your Dh is also investing in a property that isnt his - Im always one for 'what ifs' - so what if he died before MIL had made the property over? would you inherit it ? There's a thought.

MissB83 · 01/08/2019 11:47

You must be joking! No money on the house and no payment towards any mortgage etc unless your name is on the deeds. Otherwise if your husband wants a loan from you to spend money on the house then it should be supported by a written contract/deed.

Berthatydfil · 01/08/2019 11:48

No way.
If your mil needs care it will be sold from under you.

Angeldust747 · 01/08/2019 11:51

@IAskTooManyQuestions it's not that she doesn't trust her husband, it is right to think things through before you spend that amount of money

Drum2018 · 01/08/2019 11:51

Until the house is signed over I wouldn't put that amount of money into it. MIL could decide in 5 years time to sell it. You'd possibly not see a penny of your 'investment' then.

BendingSpoons · 01/08/2019 11:51

You are right that you would not get that money back if you divorced and the house was still MILs. Do you both pay rent to MIL? If you don't then you are at least financially benefitting from that so may be happier to give some of your savings.

Drum2018 · 01/08/2019 11:54

Good point by @IAskTooManyQuestions - what if your Dh died before MIL. If she hadn't signed it over to him already, the house would remain hers and she could have you out the door.

Wishihad · 01/08/2019 11:56

If it doesnt go in his name, you dont get anything in the event of divorce

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 01/08/2019 11:56

Should your MIL end up in a care house the house will be gone!

SandraOhshair · 01/08/2019 11:57

You are right to be cautious, unless you have a legal stake in the ownership of the house you are giving the money. Too many unknown events could come into play.....

Wishihad · 01/08/2019 11:57

Yep, if he dies before her. You could be out.

Original poster

AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 11:57

I do trust my husband absolutely, but can anyone say what will happen in 10 years?

We don't pay rent so yes, we have both been benefitting from that arrangement.

MIL also has her own property, which I would assume would be sold first if she needed alternative accommodation. If my husband died before her, our son would inherit it.

OP posts:

lavenderbluedilly · 01/08/2019 12:00

Agree with others above. However, are you both living there for free (other than council tax or utility bills)? If so, then I would think it reasonable that you both contribute to costs of maintenance work. Whether or not you need to dip into your savings would depend on your and DH’s finances. Can he afford to contribute without you having to?

lavenderbluedilly · 01/08/2019 12:01

Sorry, cross posted!

Wishihad · 01/08/2019 12:01

If my husband died before her, our son would inherit it.

Maybe.

Or maybe the mother will make you leave anyway. It's not the sons house till she dies.

And what if she decides to sell it and donate the money to a cat charity.

safariboot · 01/08/2019 12:03

You're not paying to improve your husband's house. You're paying to improve your MIL's that you and DH rent. (Or live in rent free.)

Whether you want to do that or not is up to you. But as mentioned, you've little right to stay in the house.

AnneKipanki · 01/08/2019 12:03

No way .

AnneKipanki · 01/08/2019 12:03

She might change her will .

Crispmonster123 · 01/08/2019 12:04

You’re living there for free basically you should pay for some upkeep surely?

IsobelRae23 · 01/08/2019 12:04

You say she has another home that could be sold for her care.
How much is it worth? Millions, I guess you’ll be okay for a while. 250k, then depending on her care needs, that may not get very far!

BadassBusty · 01/08/2019 12:08

Intrinsically you dont trust your husband which is no basis for a marriage.

I don't agree with this - you never know what will happen in the future. I trust my husband completely but things change over time and you need to protect yourself.

It would almost be like investing £6k into a rental.

Wishihad · 01/08/2019 12:08

Both you and your husband could pay the equivalent of cheap rent into a join account and use that as the fund to keep up to it.

You are benefitting, but you still wont get anything back.

If you dont want to pay anything at all while benefitting from free rent, if I was your husband I would be ok. But want the house taken out of the martial pot and going straight to son on his death.

Basically, I suppose you have to decide wether you are acting as a couple, financially, or not.

If I were him and you wanted to live rent free and not put anything in at all, I dont think I would accept you get half of we divorced.

Missingstreetlife · 01/08/2019 12:15

Unless he is supporting you and can't afford it he should also pay something for repair

JennaOfEluria · 01/08/2019 12:16

Honestly I wouldn't be investing any money until the property is actually in your husband's name.

This isn't about trust in your husband, it's about future proofing your son's security, whilst the house is in your MILs name you have very little beyond the £6k you have saved up because what ifs and maybes about MIL and how she handles her estate aren't worth anything.

I do tend to jump to the worse case scenario with these sorts of things but having almost lost my husband to a bolt out of the blue before he turned 40, I'm incredibly aware how easily everything can be turned on it's head. We're just one of the lucky families!

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