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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying into husband's house

78 replies

AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 11:44

We currently live in a house which is owned my my MIL, which my husband will inherit (or she will transfer ownership to him) at some point. It needs quite a lot of work done on it. We have a joint account, but I have £6000 in a separate savings account. My husband is suggesting using my savings (as a contribution as it will cost more), saying it's an "investment".

Obviously, it is. It's my home too, but am I right not to be sure about it? If the money gets used, then I'm not sure I'll start another separate savings account. Also, what would happen in the event of a divorce? If nothing was written down, I guess I wouldn't get that money back...?

AIBU to say no, we're not using my savings?

OP posts:
Cocobean30 · 01/08/2019 12:18

Uhm it isn’t even your home, does not belong to you, why would you invest all of your money. She needs to hand it over to you both first.

JennaOfEluria · 01/08/2019 12:18

However, investing your £6k is different to you paying your MIL rent which I think you should be doing whilst you reside in her property. As others have said, that's contributing to the upkeep of the house without actually depleting your assets to zero.

Angeliza · 01/08/2019 12:23

This reply has been deleted

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ColaFreezePop · 01/08/2019 12:56

If you aren't paying rent then from your joint account only should you pay for some of the maintenance. Personally I think you should pay some rent under the market rate to stop future requests.

Your own savings in your name is for yourself and your son especially if anything goes wrong in life.

whothedaddy · 01/08/2019 13:01

The 'you don't trust your husband' comment is rediculous. Can we stop putting so much emotion on finances.

The facts are the house isn't yours, there is no guarentee that it will be yours, there fore it would not be sensible to invest your savings in the house. Until the house is signed over as joingtly owned by you and your husband it would be a hard no from me.

This has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with treating anything money related as a business transaction.

SandraOhshair · 01/08/2019 13:02

6k is not alot of savings if you are living rent free. What's happening to your money?

Your housing position seems precarious. No deposit, any tenancy agreement?

What happens if MIL needs they money and sells the house?

BendingSpoons · 01/08/2019 13:06

I think this is more complicated. Are you investing money from your joint account into the property? Or are you saving extra as you are rent free? Are you working and earning or is your DH the breadwinner? Depending on where you live, £6k is not that much in terms of rent. So I would say YAB a bit U if you are not contributing to the house in some way. But if you are contributing already or are a SAHM so no real way of building back savings or expect all your future money will go into this property black hole then YANBU.

Alsohuman · 01/08/2019 13:07

If you’re living rent free, perhaps it would be sensible to pay the market rent into a separate savings account and use that? After all, paying for the upkeep of a rent free house you don’t own isn’t very different to paying off a landlord’s mortgage.

fourplusfour · 01/08/2019 13:08

I am in a similar position. However, I was paying rent privately so just saw the money we used on DPs house as advance rent that I would have been paying. It wouldn't have taken long to get through a few thousand in rent payments at my old house. Once DP inherits, he will add my name to the deeds too.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 01/08/2019 13:12

The 'you don't trust your husband' comment is rediculous.

Really? ridiculous

the OP says this quite clearly ... Also, what would happen in the event of a divorce? If nothing was written down, I guess I wouldn't get that money back...?

PettyContractor · 01/08/2019 13:14

I would regard any money spent as voluntary "rent" paid by you both to MIL, rather than an investment. For the purposes of separate marital finances, the money should count as part of your contribution to the household, so if you keep up any normal monthly contributions as well, your husband need to repay you the £6000 over time, out of his spare income.

Your may or may get given a half-share of the house in future, depending on whether (a) your husband gets it and (b) you are still married to him. I wouldn't base my actions on any assumption about that.

Original poster
AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 13:17

Work that we've had done already has been paid by both of us from our joint account. My savings account is basically money I had already at the beginning of our relationship, and it's been in an ISA (or various ISAs) just gathering interest. I don't really pay any money into it regularly.

We also have joint savings, but DH is keen to hold on to these just in case, you never know, etc.

I work part time from home so it's not like I'm not contributing anything at all.

OP posts:
TixieLix · 01/08/2019 13:18

No way! Never use your savings to improve someone else's house. You may have the benefit of living in it (for now), but as PP have said, while it's still in MIL's name, you have no claim on it at all. Don't make any assumptions that your DH (or your DS) will inherit. Anything could happen in the intervening years.

user1480880826 · 01/08/2019 13:20

No no no. It’s not your house. Don’t spend any money on it until it’s in joint ownership.

And don’t be talked into spending your personal savings. That is your money.

cstaff · 01/08/2019 13:21

If you have joint savings there is no reason to use your savings. It is both of you living rent free and all going well the house will be in both of your names in time. So no to using your personal savings and yes to using your joint savings.

Hellmistress · 01/08/2019 13:21

It all depends on how much you both have in joint savings. Everybody should have some long-term savings for the unexpected. One could argue that this renovation project is the unexpected but I think you should both contribute to whatever works are required, not just your savings alone.

If you're enjoying the luxury of living rent-free you could consider raising an unsecured loan to finance whatever neds doing to this house but you must be aware that MIL's house could need to be sold to pay care-home fees if she needs one. They can cost up to a grand a week, so unless she owns something worth millions there's no saying that the house you live in now will always be your home.

MIL (and you and your DH) need to understand the rules about deprivation of assets before she signs anything over to anyone.

herculepoirot2 · 01/08/2019 13:22

The bottom line is that you would be paying to improve someone else’s house.

Alsohuman · 01/08/2019 13:24

Just like you pay rent to pay someone else’s mortgage.

Sindragosan · 01/08/2019 13:27

I trust my husband, not my MIL.

I'd give 6k to my husband if he needed it, wouldn't give 6k to the in laws.

If you've joint savings they should be used first, but ideally you wouldn't pay to improve a house you've no guarantee of getting.

Hellmistress · 01/08/2019 13:28

"We also have joint savings, but DH is keen to hold on to these just in case, you never know, etc."

But he wants to spend the savings you had when you started the relationship with him? Fuck that! Tell him that you need to hold onto the savings in your own name "just in case, you never know, etc"

Cheeky bastard!

fedup21 · 01/08/2019 13:33

We also have joint savings, but DH is keen to hold on to these just in case, you never know, etc.

No no no. You give the same reason for you holding onto your own savings!

That is VERY telling that he wants to spend your money, not his!!

AnneKipanki · 01/08/2019 13:35

What @Hellmistress says !

Sindragosan · 01/08/2019 13:38

Tell him that you need to hold onto the savings in your own name "just in case you end up homeless because you got screwed over by MIL

Original poster
AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 14:40

We have friends who recently bought a flat together. She sold her flat in order to help fund it and we both thought that was a bad idea. She gave up her only asset, and if they break up and get half the value of the new flat each, she won't be able to afford the same flat she sold.

Not quite the same situation, but similar idea no?

OP posts:
cstaff · 01/08/2019 15:27

Well if your DH thought that your friends was a bad plan surely he can see why putting your money into HIS / his parents flat is even worse. At least her name is on the title deeds in the new flat. You have no comeback in your case.