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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying into husband's house

78 replies

AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 11:44

We currently live in a house which is owned my my MIL, which my husband will inherit (or she will transfer ownership to him) at some point. It needs quite a lot of work done on it. We have a joint account, but I have £6000 in a separate savings account. My husband is suggesting using my savings (as a contribution as it will cost more), saying it's an "investment".

Obviously, it is. It's my home too, but am I right not to be sure about it? If the money gets used, then I'm not sure I'll start another separate savings account. Also, what would happen in the event of a divorce? If nothing was written down, I guess I wouldn't get that money back...?

AIBU to say no, we're not using my savings?

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 01/08/2019 16:08

After your last update, YANBU! Why should you use your savings before joint ones?! Your example of your friends, depends, if they were married I would say that's a reasonable thing to do. If they aren't married they could have got a deed that says how the asset is split. Interesting though that your DH thinks that is a risky idea but fine to use your savings.

Chloemol · 01/08/2019 17:39

RIght up until she dies your mil can change her will so your husband/son won’t inherit. Yes you both benefit at the moment by not paying rent but I assume you contribute to bills etc.

I would not be investing my hard earned savings into any house that did not have my name on the deeds

lettersforyou · 01/08/2019 18:02

Not a chance! Why doesn't he want to use joint savings? Bizarre

Original poster
AlmostAlwyn · 01/08/2019 18:33

Thanks for the responses! Good to know I'm not totally unreasonable in not wanting to use "my" money! I'll have another chat with DH and see what he says. Will be discussing house ownership too...

OP posts:
LadyRannaldini · 01/08/2019 21:37

If my husband died before her, our son would inherit it

Not necessarily, if your mother still owns it, she may leave it to someone else. Are there other siblings of your husband, they might have an opinion in the event of your husband dying first?

StoneofDestiny · 01/08/2019 21:48

She could transfer ownership now, and she could live there rent free - get it legally drawn up. Then all are secure.

W1nnerW2nner · 01/08/2019 22:25

This property currently legally belongs to MIL.

I would not put any savings into this property

It is generally a good idea to have the following if possible;
No debt
3 or 6 months Emergency savings incase of unemployment
ISA
Pension
Property
Other savings or investments

It would probably benefit you to talk to a financial advisor

PickAChew · 01/08/2019 22:29

In your friend's case, she has a share of the new flat. She has her share of the new flat as an asset.

in your case, you have no claim on your MIL's house, whatsoever, so if you and DH divorced before it was inherited, or if he ended up not inheriting it, you would never get any of that money back.

FattyPeddledFuriously999 · 01/08/2019 22:33

No chance!!!!!!

YDNBU!!!!!!!!

TheFlis12345 · 01/08/2019 22:36

Never pay to improve/ increase the value of a property you have no legal claim to.

Catapultaway · 01/08/2019 22:41

How long have you lived there?
I wouldn't have an issue with paying for the upkeep of a property I was staying in rent free.

Firewall · 01/08/2019 22:48

No and I’d be looking into purchasing a property for rental if you could afford a mortgage. As then if anything was to happen such that the property wasn’t transferred over you wouldn’t be left high and dry. A friend of mine had a similar situation where her husband was supposed to inherit the house they lived in but things went sour and they ended up buying a house in their late 40s and wished they’d bought one earlier even to rent out which would have covered their mortgage and they would have at least had something.

Alislia17 · 02/08/2019 04:52

This reply has been deleted

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GPatz · 02/08/2019 05:12

'Tell him that you need to hold onto the savings in your own name "just in case you end up homeless because you got screwed over by MIL'.

Screwed over my MIL? They have been living rent free, thanks to her.

I wouldn't do any improvements to the house using my own money, but I would also remember my situation and wouldn't be making any complaints about the fact that the house needs work done to it.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 02/08/2019 06:58

I would pay "rent" into your savings account every month so that you have a deposit for your own place. I really think you & DH should buy your own place. MIL can still leave him the property she lives in if she wants.

Sindragosan · 02/08/2019 07:32

Yes, they are living rent free which is lovely, but should the mother suddenly need care, they could find themselves homeless quite quickly, or a sudden death with no will (or a will that leaves the house elsewhere) could also be difficult.

The house being signed over 'at some point' would be a bit too vague for my liking, theres also nothing stopping the mother evicting them, they have less rights than tenants as there is no rental contract.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 02/08/2019 07:33

She lives in should be you live in.

FlowerAndBloom · 02/08/2019 07:35

I think you would need to be on the title deeds really to sink that amount of money in. Ask if it's time she signed it over? Or don't do it. At divorce everything is 50:50 and that house is neither of yours so you wouldn't see a penny

CherryPavlova · 02/08/2019 07:41

I too think it’s indicative of an underlying lack of trust and that can eat away at a marriage. The house will (or should) belong to you both and your savings are also his savings. Why would you not discuss and agree the best use of your family money and assets?

limitedscreentime · 02/08/2019 07:51

Surely if you get divorced then you will only have £3000 anyway. So if you view it as a £3000 contribution each then it is no different to using the joint account money to improve the house.

The problem is, that you want to spend (presumably a lot) more than £6k doing up some else's house.

I do think it is a trust issue too though - we would never have had this conversation, even before we were married money, although separate, was effectively joint money and one of us always covered the others back (periods of unemployment, further study etc). You are focusing a lot on your husband, rather than your mil who is the one being given the advantage. But then you live there rent free, so even if you 'lost' the money, I don't feel you would have 'lost' out.

I think it boils down to how much do you want to do up the house? Although I'd also make sure mil knows about inheritance and explain if she signs the house over now and lives another 7yrs, she'll be saving her son thousands. Get proper advice before you do this though.

One last thing - if you do up the house, it will be worth more and inheritance tax will be greater.

W1nnerW2nner · 02/08/2019 07:53

Title - paying into husband's house

The house legally belongs to MIl

It is not his house

Answer -NO

RonnieScotts · 02/08/2019 08:00

No I wouldn't use your savings to 'do up' your MIL's property. You have no claim to this property at the moment.

FlowerAndBloom · 02/08/2019 08:03

I wouldn't do up someone else's house unless I was loaded. Do it up when you own it

FlowerAndBloom · 02/08/2019 08:04

But also....a years rent would be £6000.....so tbf she's let you live there rent free presumably so it's just you paying in a different way and also the lottery is you may get that 'rent' back in the future

Alsohuman · 02/08/2019 11:24

A point I made upthread @FlowerAndBloom, any money they spend is offset by living rentfree. There’s a completely irrational mindset here. If they rented elsewhere they’d be paying off a landlord’s mortgage. What’s the difference?